meditation

#26: From Crisis to Meaning with Shinzen Young

Welcome to our season one finale! On this episode, we talk to Shinzen Young about mindfulness within the context of the modern meaning crisis. Shinzen is a renowned meditation teacher and neuroscience research consultant. We met with him in Toronto after he had just finished leading a meditation retreat. Shinzen first became fascinated with Asian culture as a Jewish teenager growing up in Los Angeles in the 1950s. As he likes to describe himself: 

“I’m a Jewish-American Buddhist teacher who got turned on to comparative mysticism by an Irish-Catholic priest and who has developed a Burmese-Japanese fusion practice inspired by the spirit of quantified science.” 

We discuss happiness, enlightenment and his current new project which involves using brain stimulating technology that may dramatically accelerate meditation gains. He is the author of The Science of Enlightenment: How Meditation Works

Highlights:

  • Why is Mindfulness everywhere?
  • Meditation to Optimize Happiness
  • Co-evolution of Science and Mindfulness

Resources:

Listen:

Poem Inspired by This Episode

Full Transcript

Thal:

Welcome Shinzen to the show.

Shinzen Young:

Thank you.

Thal:

Thank you for agreeing to come on. Thank you.

Adrian:

I think a neat place to begin this conversation is to ask how you see your role as a meditation teacher within, what we’re calling the meaning crisis, within the context of the modern meaning crisis. How do you see your role and how that relates to the bigger scale problem that we are, you know, sort of experiencing as a collective.

Shinzen Young:

So I like to answer questions by first asking a bunch of questions and I appear on, you know, a number of podcasts and usually they have a direction or an interest. And so by finding out how the person that’s interviewing me sees the theme, the broad theme of the podcast, I apply my dimensional analytic skills to getting an idea of what they’re talking about and then I can relate it to my areas. So I’ll begin by asking you folks a question. There’s three words: modern, was it meaning?

Thal:

Meaning

Shinzen Young:

And crisis. I’m interested in how you think of what those words mean. Um, when does modern start? What is a crisis in meaning? Uh, so I’ll let you folks talk first.

Thal:

Wow.

Adrian:

Yeah, no, that’s… Yeah, I love it.

Thal:

Yeah, sure. I’m, the way I see it is, um, sort of maybe the breakdown of the old way of seeing things, thinking about the world. Old paradigms. Um, it’s very hard. It’s not that black and white, it’s not really breaking down, but there’s this energetic shift that’s happening where just the old way of doing things is no longer working. And so we’re seeing that institutions, religion, politics, it’s just no longer working, the old way of doing things. And so then all these questions are coming up and they’re, um, along with those questions, there’s this anxiety around what’s going to happen and um, and sort of being lost in a way and grasping for meaning and a worldview.

Shinzen Young:

And would this be among the younger people? A certain generation? Do you have an age demographic that tends to listen to your podcast? And be in the meaning crisis?

Adrian:

I would say yeah, to a degree. It’s relating to a generation that we belong to. Sort of that millennial generation that I would consider myself part of.

Shinzen Young:

That would be called millennials part of, yeah. How old do you have to be? What’s the range of millennials?

Adrian:

I don’t know what the hard cutoff is. I mean, I was born in the mid eighties.

Thal:

I was born in ’82. I think. I think I’m like the older side of the spectrum.

Shinzen Young:

Well, I was born a long time before that. So, I actually belong to, um, some would say Boomer, but I’m at the very earliest part of the boomer. Boomer was supposed, I believe is taken to be post World War Two when the Vets came back. But I was born while my father was off fighting the Japanese in the Pacific. I was born during World War II. Um, as I, you know, that’s, that’s a long time before Boomer. Uh, okay..

Adrian:

For me, the meaning crisis at an individual, personal level was when I, towards the mid twenties was when I started really recognizing just a lack of fulfillment in my life. You know, having success from a career perspective, but just not feeling like this is what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m not fulfilled. I don’t feel, I don’t feel happy. I, you know, and the chasing doesn’t seem to be filling that, that experience that I was expecting…

Shinzen Young:

So that’s fulfillment.

Adrian:

To me it is, yeah.

Shinzen Young:

So what I’ve got so far is old things, the old ways of working. Um, and there’s rapid change. And there’s fear and a sense of unfulfillment. So yes. And maybe particularly for the millennial type, but of course it’s a Zeitgeist or spirit of the time kind of thing that would apply to any age demographic. Yeah. Well there’s a lot of relevance. Um, so you described me as a mindfulness teacher, which is an accurate description. Although the fuller description I would say is that I am a teacher of, but also a researcher in the field of what I would call Modern Mindfulness. So I’m all about dimensional analysis and careful use of words. Um, I think you guys speak Chinese, right?

Adrian:

Cantonese.

Shinzen Young:

Not so good.. [chuckle] in Cantonese. But Confucius said this idea of “Cheng-ming”, which is translated rectified names, I’m sure it’ll be pretty similar in Cantonese. So that was an early influence. It’s like, “oh yeah, it’s important to be careful about how we say things”. So I’m all about careful definitions and axial, you know, dimensional analysis of phenomena. So for me, Modern Mindfulness is a set term. I define it in a certain way. Obviously other people may use “mindfulness” or other related words in different ways. But for me, Modern Mindfulness is what some people call “secular mindfulness” or some people call “mainstream mindfulness”. But I don’t like either of those words for various reasons, but we need a name for it. And what the “it” is, is a contemplative practice co-evolving with science. So the reason that mindfulness is found all over the world now within the therapy setting, within the corporate setting, within the medical setting, even within the military. The US trains mindfulness. When Jon Kabat-Zinn and Saki Santorelli, who are sort of the heads of the MBSR approach, when they went to Beijing, there were members of the PLA, the Chinese national army there. And Saki told me that he thought the reason that they were there taking the seminar on MBSR was that they knew that the US military was using it. And I don’t know if that’s really true or not, but I think if you pardon my French, is pretty fucking amazing right?

Adrian:

Competitive advantage.

Shinzen Young:

I mean, are we gonna have um… Yeah, I don’t mind a Mindfulness Arms Race! Okay. That’s like a cold, that’s a Cold Peace as opposed to a Hot War. [Chuckling] Uh, but anyway, why is this everywhere? Okay. How did this happen? Well, Jon was able, Jon Kabat Zinn, spelled J-O-N, was able to put this South-east Asian Buddhist practice within the framework of clinical science. And okay. You know, you have pain, we give you these techniques. It may not make the pain go away, but youy perceived suffering goes way down. And we can use different psychometrics to make that a credible claim. So modern he linked it with science. Jon was originally a molecular biologist, which is pretty hard-nose quantitative science, but he was also a long time practitioner. So doctors started to send chronic pain patients to him because that’s a huge problem in clinical medicine. It’s an intractable problem, really. I mean everyone talks about this opioid epidemic or whatever, but I mean it has various causes, but one of them is, you know, these painkillers have these bad effects. So in any event, he got results and then it took off. So if we generalize what… MBSR stands for mindfulness based stress reduction. So if we sort of generalize what he did, um, which would have come online just about the time you folks were getting born. I would say he did two things. He abstracted the attentional skill training from the cultural doctrinal, religious, philosophical matrix of Asia. So that you didn’t have to believe in reincarnation or whatever, uh, you know, in order to do these practices. And then what he also did is he validated it by the standard cannons that are used in medicine. And it worked. It performed. It outperformed. So to me, what that represents is taking the spirit of science and modifying, in this case an essentially South-east Asian contemplative practice, um, making something that’s culturally universal and logic and evidence-based. But we can generalize that further because South-east Asian Buddhist practice is a proper subset of World Buddhist practice, but World Buddhist practice, in other words, quote “Buddhist Meditation” is a proper subset of world contemplative practice. As you folks know. There’s Christian, you have a Sufi path you have a Muslim name. So I’m guessing Muslim. Yeah, there’s contemplative tradition in Islam and Judaism, Christianity. So I’d like to take an even larger view. I talk of contemplative practice worldwide. So if we take contemplative practice, we can improve it by bringing in the spirit of science. But it works the other way. The science is… yes, it’s a cultural meme, but it’s also a human experience. It’s the experience of doing science. Whether it’s high school science or whether it’s professional level you’re shooting for a Nobel prize science. There is the doing of science, which is a human experience and experience of thought and emotion. And if the scientists take on a contemplative practice, they will be much happier human beings and therefore much more effective scientists. Um, so we can imagine a positive feedback loop moving forward in time.

All we need to do is somehow get past the next century or so, I would say without a catastrophic collapse of civilization, if we could somehow squeak through. I would expect that as contemplative practice becomes improved through interaction with science and as the scientists become improved through taking on contemplative practice, which then allows them to do better science, et Cetera, that a positive feedback loop could develop where they co-evolve. It’s a notion of course, from evolutionary biology. Sometimes species co-evolve. Sometimes they co-evolve to fight each other, but sometimes they co-evolve to cooperate with each other. And I see that as a viable possibility. Now, the reason that Buddhism sort of plays a big role is that of all the contemplative traditions of the world, or of all of the religions of the world, contemplative practice is most central in Buddhism. It’s what it’s all about really. Secondly, in the Buddhist tradition, there’s been very systematic and comprehensive analysis of what meditation practice is. It’s already proto-scientific in the way that it has been described historically. So there is a reason why Buddhism is central to this, but I see it as really a broader thing. But if we think of Buddhism or meditation practice as done in Asia, to me that represents the pinnacle of Asian civilization. It’s what Asia did better than anyone. And therefore the whole world should pay attention to that in a little bit of a special way because they did it right. They did it proto-scientifically, actually. Um, so if we wanted to somehow say, well, modern science is sort of a European thing. I mean, before the renaissance, other parts of the world, including the Islamic world actually was the center of science, but in the modern period, it’s been the west that took off. So my thing was, well, what might happen if the best of the East and the best of the West cross-fertilized? There would be some hybrid vitality. Some “wunderkind”, some wonder child perhaps born from that. So to get back to how I think about myself, so I’m essentially a researcher in Modern Mindfulness. So you need to know about two things. Since it’s these two worlds. You have to have an experiential background in contemplative practice. And you have to have scientific chops. You have to be good at math and a bunch of other things that make you a good scientist. So I decided to devote my life to developing those two directions within one person so that I could be in an ideal position to help the modern mindfulness movement. So I would say that’s how I think about myself.

So you’re asking a teacher and a researcher of Modern Mindfulness what about this rapid cultural change? What about the fear of the future? What about the sense that the old things aren’t working? Uh, what about this pervasive unfulfillment? And yeah. Hell yeah!

Thal:

[Laughing]

Shinzen Young:

A modern mindfulness researcher would have a lot to say about that. Actually it’s pretty much just a couple of things that cover all of the above actually. Um, if I had to pick, of the different things, if I had to pick the first dimension that I would respond to in terms of how you define the modern existential crisis, I would say unfulfillment or not broadly, deeply and intensely happy. A lack of being broadly, deeply and intensely happy might sum it all up. In the sense that fear is a form of being unhappy. It’s an uncomfortable inner state. So it’s a form of suffering. And certainly part of happiness is reducing suffering. The sense of the difficulty managing change and particularly unpredictable change. Um, well that’s actually a form of suffering also. Um, so really that managing change is part of being happy. So I still put it under the rubric of Happy. It’s interesting when you said the first thing that Thal said was the old ways aren’t working anymore. So, you know, the first thing that came to my mind is “the old ways never worked”. That was the first sentence that came up in talk space. The old ways never worked. Ever, actually. East, west, ancient, modern, they sort of worked. And sort of worked is okay, but I think we can do a lot better in the modern era, the information era. I don’t want to say things that might offend people, but I seem to end up doing it anyway.

Adrian:

Do it anyway.

Thal:

Please, go ahead.

Shinzen Young:

A lot of the old ways, not all, but at least the old ways in terms of post Neolithic humans, maybe Paleolithic or whatever proceeded that. That may be a different conversation, but, and this isn’t all of the old ways, but a lot of the old ways were ways of being happy. So they sort of worked. I mean they sort of make you happy. Um, you’ll notice I mentioned three dimensions of happiness, for an individual. How broadly happy they are, how deeply happy they are and how intensely happy they are. There could be a fourth dimension, which is the scope of happiness. How many individuals are to what degree broad, deep and intensely happy? And that would be of course a universal metric for happiness on this planet. Without loss of generality. Well, actually maybe with some loss of generality. So we’re going to just limit the conversation to human happiness. Happiness of nonhuman species is important, but that’s complicated to say nothing of speculations about other types of sentient beings in the Verse, the multiverse, whatever, however big this thing really is, which is I’m guessing probably much bigger than we can currently imagine. But in any event that’s speculative. So just limiting to humans on this planet. Basically we’ve got four dimensions to happiness. And so I warned you I have this dimensional way of thinking about things. By the way, that’s an example of what happens when you’re thinking process is profoundly informed by the spirit of science. That’s one of the skills you learn as a scientist is how to look at a complex phenomenon. And diagonalime the Matrix, find the eigenvalues, find the basic atoms, components, primes, canonical dimensions, whatever you want. These all mean the same thing essentially in science. Well prime is in number theory, but it’s analogous. So in any event, the goal is to optimize happiness. And I would claim that Modern Mindfulness as I describe it, is key to optimizing happiness. So that means the greatest number of people with the greatest intensity, breadth and depth of happiness, that’s what we want. So I mentioned that “Cheng-ming”, I try to be very precise about names. So I have a Periodic Table of Happiness Elements. You can find it on the Internet, although I revise it from time to time. It’s not as big as a periodic table of chemical elements, but it is actually amazingly similar in some ways. So one dimension I call how broad your happiness is. And there’s five sort of basic columns and then there’s four rows and they measure what I call depth of happiness. But as with any technical term, you shouldn’t associate breadth, depth, intensity with what they may mean elsewhere. They have to be defined, you know, within the particular scientific theory.

Adrian:

Contextual.

Shinzen Young:

So easiest to understand how broad your happiness is by specific example. So my sort of five pillars of heaven are “relief from suffering”, “increase in fulfillment”, um “understanding yourself at all levels” and we’ll get into the levels in a minute. “Mastering behavior, mastering actions” that could be sort of performance skills. But in the Buddhist tradition, they have an interesting thing. They use the word “skill” to refer to a one’s character. You have skillful character skills, or you have a skillful character, unskillful character. It’s what other traditions would call good and bad. A good actions, bad actions. But another way to think of it is skillful unskillful. It’s ort of the same thing. So I riff on the Buddhist ambiguity of skill to include both things like academic skills, performance skills, artistic skills. Um, those are forms of mastery of action. And there are how you, there’s how you carry yourself in the world. What kind of person you are in your interpersonal interactions. Were you an admirable person by your own cannons or the canons of the culture that you identify with. So all of those are mastery of object of actions. You’ll notice that the first three pillars sort of represent experience, right? Uh, experiencing physical, mental, emotional pain with less suffering. Experiencing physical, mental, emotional pleasure with more fulfillment. Um, understanding yourself at all levels from the biographical to the transpersonal. These are all sort of might be described as on the sensory side of experience. But I believe that how we act in the world is also a valid dimension of happiness. I have a lot of backup on that starting with Aristotle and actually most of the religions of the world. So acting skillfully or mastery of action, that’s dimension number or that’s column number four. Column number five is “service”. Maybe not everyone thinks of that first. Uh, you know, if you’re in chronic pain, all you think about is the first aspect of happiness. It’s all you care about. That’s why people get, have problems with drugs. Problems with drugs are action in the world. Now that’s mastery of behavior. So in any event, um, service, if you’re in chronic pain, being of service to others may not be the first thing that jumps up unless you’re really an extraordinary person. And every once in a while you get that. Someone that you know, that’s how they cope with it. But as people mature, they will come to see that it’s quite natural for a human being to derive immense happiness from serving others, in various ways. I would want for myself and for anyone else that we can check off all those columns that we couldn’t give them a way of reducing suffering, elevating fulfillment, understanding themselves at all levels, and making positive behavior changes. And ultimately a happiness based on a larger identity that one serves. So that’s the dimension of how broad, it’s a kind of qualitative dimension in a sense. Um, and I believe a complete positive psychology needs to take into account all those aspects. What I call level is not what you might think. It’s not how strong. It is how obvious a certain form of happiness is. The most obvious form of relief from suffering it is get rid of the condition that’s causing the suffering. But what if you can’t do that? Well, maybe I can cover over the symptoms somehow. So without loss of generality, uh, if I have pain, it’s caused by a disease, well, cure my disease. Good. We’ve taken care of the situation. Oh, you can’t cure my disease. Okay, well then give me palliative care that covers it over. Good. Now, no problem. Still still have the object of condition, but my perception of uncomfortable body-mind experience has been removed. Oh, the drugs cause addiction and eventually don’t work. Doc, what can you do for me? I’m afraid what they’re going to say is learn to live with it. Which may not be a very satisfying answer. Try not to get addicted and learn to live with it. Um, there are deeper levels of relief that are not obvious to people and entail mindful awareness skills. You have to have mindful awareness skills to get those less obvious forms of relief.

Analogously, there are less obvious forms of fulfillment, less obvious forms of self knowledge, uh, less obvious forms of service, et cetera, et cetera. So the deepest part of my grid is the least obvious. Those also happen to be the ones for which mindfulness skills are critical. Can’t get them without mindfulness skills. And they also are the ones that work when nothing else works. It’s the heavy guns. So how intense a person’s happiness is, well if you imagine this sort of two dimensional grid, then each box, you know, as a certain height, creating a three dimension, uh, sort of a two dimensional, um, profile. Right? How happy am I? How intense is my happiness? Oh, I should back up just to make it tangible with what I mean. The deepest level of relief is the ability to escape into the pain, be it physical, emotional, mental, or all three at once. The ability to escape into it is the ability to experience it with perfect concentration, clarity, and equanimity. And we can train you to that ability. By you, I mean anyone who’s willing to put in the time and energy. We can train you to a level where, even if the discomfort is very intense, the suffering is manageable. So it’s not obvious to the general public that that’s a viable option. But Modern Mindfulness says absolutely. And it’s just a click away. Well, maybe I’m not in pain, but I’m not deeply fulfilled. Well, the obvious, uh, if I want more fulfillment, what’s the obvious? Well, more wealth, more power, reputation, sexual prowess, just you name it. Something in the object of world, um, status, the mate and rate. Now that’s a legitimate dimension of happiness. There’s nothing in my value system that says it’s wrong to passionately pursue success in the world. So these are obvious. Of course what happens? I see this all the time because being in the science field, we interact with wealthy people of the Silicon Valley ilk. And the reason they’re interested in people like me is they’re millionaires, sometimes billionaires, and it really didn’t make them that much happier. And it’s like what’s next? So there’s a next! But it’s not obvious. And mindfulness skills to it, concentration, clarity, equanimity, trainable attentional skills, turn out to be key to that deeper aspect of fulfillment. So the normal paradigm is, what I want is intensity, variety, and duration of pleasure that’s going to fulfill me. So actually that’s not entirely incorrect. It’s just not complete. What you really want is to have complete experience of pleasure. Um, I’m going to define complete experience of pleasure to be completely analogous to complete experience of pain. Just a different category of sensory phenomenology. So when you escape into the pleasure, um, you bring so much concentration, clarity and equanimity to it that it provides you with the maximum perception of fulfillment. So I sometimes talk about the Imelda Marcos phenomenon. So she was, uh do you know?

Adrian:

No.

Shinzen Young:

So interesting generation thing. She was the wife of the president of the Philippines who was a dictator that was president for a long time. Marcos. I guess set up after World War 2 by the U S. Anyway, his wife was named Imelda and she became an object of ridicule. It’s really sad, um, because it’s not just her, it’s, it’s everyone. She just was extreme and it got out and, um, therefore it became sort of a thing. But, but she had thousands of pairs of shoes. All of them of the, you know, most expensive worldwide, you know, kind of thing. Um, so if I have some nice thing, uh, maybe I’m a guy, so it’s not going to be the shoes probably, but something I really liked, uh, well let’s just say, an expensive meal. So the tastes are, the actual sensory event is putatively worth a lot of money. How much fulfillment I derive from that intensity, duration and variety of pleasure that is this banquet. How much fulfillment I derive is not just a function of the sensory experience, it’s a function of how completely present I am to that sensory experience. Well, for that you need concentration, clarity, equanimity skills. You have to distinguish things. You have to stay, keep your attention on the tastes and whatever. And you have to not grasp on moment by moment to the pleasure. Because if you grasp on microscopically, you won’t be fully present for the next moment and the next moment and the next moment. So the key to fulfillment, yes, in part it relates to circumstances. Yes, in part it relates to intensity, variety and duration of pleasure. But let’s say that you have very mild pleasures. Um, good news. With mindfulness skills, you can derive enormous fulfillment from that. Bad news, if you conspicuously lacked those skills. If one pair of expensive shoes doesn’t fulfill you. So pleasure times mindfulness. If the mindfulness is zero, fulfillment equals pleasure times mindfulness to a linear approximation. It’s a much more complicated function. No doubt. I don’t want to sound mathematically illiterate. That’s my ego, my pride. To a linear approximation. We could say that fulfillment equals pleasure times mindfulness. Unfortunately, if mindfulness is at zero, that means one pair of expensive shoes gives you zero fulfillment. 10 times zero is still zero. 2,000 times zero is still zero. So there’s a bad news thing and that’s the Imelda Marcos phenomenon, which is no one taught her how to be fulfilled systematically. So for the deeper version of fulfillment, um, mindfulness skills are critical, then there’s understanding yourself. Well what’s the self? There’s the biographical self, there’s the archetypal self. You mentioned some influence of depth psychology? Would that be Freudian and Jungian idea of depth psychology?

Thal:

Mostly Jungian.

Shinzen Young:

Jungian Depth Psychology. Yeah. Okay. So that deals with what I would call the archetypal self.

Thal:

Yes.

Shinzen Young:

Or the collective unconscious. What have you. That’s a deeper level of self than the surface biography self. But I would distinguish two more levels of self understanding that are not obvious, that critically involve mindfulness skills. One is to understand yourself as a sensory system. That’s the path to enlightenment done in Theravada practice, south-east Asian practice Then there’s understanding yourself as a kind of primordial perfection. That would be your “Soulspace” to riff on the name of the podcast. So that would be the deepest level. Now that’s the paradigm for enlightenment that you get in Chan or at least some forms of Chan. Aka Zen, Tzun, Tien, different names in East Asia. Tien is the Vietnamese pronunciation. A lot of that deals with what they call the “huo-xing”, the Buddha-nature, uh, “Gou zi yuo huo xing”. You know, “gou zi” is a dog. “Yuo”, have. “huo xing”, the Buddha nature. “Yo”, or. “Wu”, not have. Would be pretty similar in Cantonese, I’m thinking. That was a famous Koan or a Zen question. Yes or no, dog have Buddha nature? So what did the Buddha nature is the Mahayana formulation for a kind of primordial perfection that is literally our soulspace. That is the deepest and broadest sense of self. So in the Mahayana and extending from that Vajrayana like Tibet, the “mi jiong”, you know, the Esoteric Tantric Buddhism, in those traditions, enlightenment, not always, but often is formulated, not in the sense of something you achieve, but something you notice. That that nature was always there. So that’s your deepest level of understanding. So we, if you untangle yourself as a sensory experience, that leads to a liberated experience of the space of self. It becomes a place to live, not a place where you are imprisoned. So that’s a South-east Asian paradigm. And we could take a Trans-himalayan slash East-Asian paradigm of well. But below that, all along there was never any need to train, um, because of the nature, the deepest sense of self. But the problem is, although there’s no need to train, there’s still a need to train because it’s just an idea until you notice it. The “it” meaning this primordial perfection. So in any event, to summarize, if we think of Modern Mindfulness, so you asked me and I’m a Modern Mindfulness researcher slash teacher. So I guess you call it faculty. I’m part of the Modern Mindfulness faculty. I teach and I do research the research. Yeah. So in any event, um, you, you asked me as a Modern Mindfulness teacher, researcher how would I respond to the crisis of meaning, etc. And then you gave me the meaning of the crisis of meaning for you. So I would summarize it by saying, um, that the old ways sort of work and we don’t even have to get rid of the old ways, but there’s a larger way that either replaces the old ways or is in some sort of detente with the old ways or maybe even a complementarity, depending. So the new way… Well we’ll contrast with the old way. The old way is, here’s a list of beliefs. Here is a list of social customs. Here’s a list and in some cases and amazingly elaborate list of what’s right and wrong. Now keep your nose clean. Follow this list. And depending on the tradition, it will be general guidelines or it could control literally every moment of your life. My background is Jewish.

Thal:

Same.

Shinzen Young:

You’re Islamic, you know.

Thal:

Yeah.

Shinzen Young:

You know what that is. So here’s the rules, here’s the customs, here’s the beliefs, join up and you’ll be happy. And it actually sort of works. Some people are freaked out by fundamentalist religion. I’m not freaked out by it. I think I understand it. To be honest, I may not like it, but I do think I understand it. Um, it sort of works. And it probably works better than the angst of the modern crisis in meaning. Okay. Relative to that, those people are happy, but it’s happiness at a price to be honest. Um, first of all, they’re not as happy as they could be. Secondly, the way they found to be happy in some cases precludes them being happier in a broader way. In some cases, not always, but the worst is, the list of rules don’t agree. The list of customers don’t agree. The list of beliefs don’t agree. So I trot out my Tanakh, the Old Testament, you trot out your Quran. The Mormons trot out the book of Mormon, which is later than both and in their claim. Therefore, the final revelation. [Chuckle] On the other hand Nichiren Shōshū will trot out the Lotus Sutra. And Pure Land Buddhism will translate and we’ll trot out the Maha-Saccaka. What is it called? Maha-Saccaka sutra anyway. It’s not just the Abrahamic religions that have scripturally based fundamentalism. You can find it in certain forms of Buddhism and it pervades Hinduism. Um, anyway, be that as it may, that sort of works. But the biggest problem is, besides the problems I mentioned, is it sometimes doesn’t agree with science and it caught, it causes an us versus them mentality. Um, that then leads to say, jihads what have you. And a lot of other problems. So it’s sorta worked and we have to respect it for working in the way that it works. But to be honest, I see a broader paradigm of happiness that number one, works better, and number two, does not necessarily preclude the old ways. Uh, I have born again, Christians. I certainly have a lot of Catholics. I have practicing Orthodox Jews that come to my retreats. I do retreats in Israel. And we have a lot of orthodox Jews that come. And no one has any problem with anything. Because it’s Modern Mindfulness, it’s not “Stealth Buddhism”. Um, so in any event, if you want to follow the old way’s fine, but if they really don’t work for you, well we’ve got a larger broader paradigm.

So the new paradigm or perhaps the extended paradigm, if we want to include the old ways, uh, it’s so cool because if the old ways really don’t work for you, then okay, well there’s another dimension and it’s consonant with science. In fact, it can coevolve with science. Um, but it doesn’t involve these lists of norms. It has some conceptual baggage, but minimum. The minimum conceptual baggag is there’s an attentional skill, or you could call it a “mind power” if you want. But that’s mind is a very ambiguous word. When I present this stuff in Chinese though, one of the…I see you have my book, the Science of Enlightenment. So we’re translating it into Chinese now. By we, I mean me and a couple people born in China. So it’s a very interesting conversation because how do you say mindfulness in Chinese? Okay. Um, for modern China, right? Uh, anyway, one of the words, we were thinking, one of the terms that we were thinking of using his “Shin Li”, which is like “Shin”, “Sum” luck? I’m guessing Cantonese here, something like that, right?

Adrian:

Yeah.

Shinzen Young:

Like consciousness strength, right? You could think of it that way, but we call them attentional skills. So there are these attentional skills and they are cultivatable. We do ask you to believe that, but that’s not a big stretch because just try and you’ll see you get better and better. And it’s just like any other strength. You do exercise, your muscles get big. You concentrate and your concentration power elevates. So there are these attentional skills: concentration, sensory clarity, equanimity. The’re cultivatable and in fact, eminently cultivatable you can, you can only get maybe twice as strong, I don’t know. But you can get 10 times as mindful. So there are these cultivatable skills and they are relevant to all types and depths of happiness. Everything on my happiness grid is impacted positively. In other words, happiness is optimized at all levels, not just the deepest level, but the mindfulness skills are related to the surface level of happiness. Also because if being a success in the world in some way is on your happiness checklist, we can show you how systematically cultivating and applying mindfulness skills will make it probable that you will be successful. So the main message here is, in a sense what might be called a bigger way to be happy or if the old ways really don’t work for you, then you would think of it as an alternative way to be happy. And what we ask is that you allocate a certain amount of time and energy to developing these attentional skills and that you also apply those skills in daily life to achieving your happiness goals. If a person does that, we can’t guarantee, but we could be like a doctor. We can say, if you establish the structure of practice, retreat, practice life, practice, you get support, you give support those are sort of my four pillars of practice. If you establish that structure in your life, it’s like a health, it’s like a fitness regimen except it’s a psycho-spiritual fitness regimen. But it’s no more demanding than a fitness regimen. That’s why you can be hopeful because there was a time when no one worked out. No one jogged. I remember the transition. I can remember buying my first pair of running shoes because as people say, everyone’s jogging now, what the hell is jogging? Well, you just run. Well, what’s the point? And then well, turns out there’s a big point to it. And no one was doing it, but then people were talking about it and so it’s like, oh, okay. I got some running shoes and I can remember running around the block and getting winded instantly. It’s like, this sucks. I don’t want to do that. But then no, you just keep doing it. You get better at it. And sure enough, in a month I was running a couple miles. Now I was in my twenties. And you can do the math on that one when that would have been, um, so there was a time when no one had systematic fitness training. Now a lot of people do. Um, it’s not unreasonable to think that there’ll be a time in the future when a lot of people have systematic mind strength training or a “mindfulness training”. Uh, so, um, the hopeful news is that if you’re willing to establish a sort of psycho spiritual fitness regimen and I would say that the single most important factor for that is to have a competent personal mindfulness coach.

Um, if you want one, just go to unifiedmindfulness.com. Go to support. Send an email to my main trainer, Julianna Raye, and she’ll get you set up. Um, now of course, that’s not the only game in town. There’s many, many, many mindfulness programs. But as I say, I, one of my great sources of joy is that I can say, if you want to have a personal mindfulness coach, now you may have to pay for that. You pay for a therapist, you pay for a competent workout coach. Now her people do a lot of pro bono work because this isn’t a for-profit industry, but the most important pillar is a competent personal coach. You give them your happiness list. Here’s my checklist. Here’s my sources of suffering. Here’s where I want to be more fulfilled. Do I want to understand myself psychologically? Okay, do I want to go a little, a little deeper? Okay. Um, here are the behavior changes I want, et cetera. You give them your laundry list for happiness. And then they guide you in the process of achieving that goal. Now, just as a personal health regimen, you have to keep it up your whole life. I just came from the gym. I’m 75 years old. I mean my body is very deteriorating, you know, relative to when I was 25 years old. But you keep it up for your whole life as, as best as you can. Now, the thing about physical health though is it deteriorates with time. It’s an up an uphill battle, right? That eventually you lose. You get injured, you get sick, you die. But the psycho spiritual dimension of growth works exactly the opposite. The older you get, and the more feeble your mind and body become, the more powerful your underlying spiritual vitality. Thank God because if it didn’t work that way, I’d be up Shit Creek without a paddle. So the good news is that if you’re willing to do that, and as I mentioned, you know, if I had to say one thing is get a coach because the coach knows the model, knows the turf and if they’ve been, at least, if they’ve been certified by my organization, they’re certified to a certain level. And if they can handle the levels of happiness you want, then they refer you to a coach that can. Let’s say you want classical enlightenment as per the path of purification described in Sri Lanka in the sixth century. It’s like, that’s my happiness. I want stream entry. Well, I’m not saying every, every unified mindfulness coach has the confidence to lead you there, but plenty of them do.

But that’s probably not on your happiness list. It’s probably “I just want to have less mental turmoil and less emotional distress” or “I want to do better in school” or “improve my tennis game”. So that’s where we start. We start there. But the paradigm, the perspective that we give you and the attentional skills that we impart and the focusing strategies that you can apply as you go about daily life. All of that is the same essentially, regardless of what your goals are. So you can, the incredible thing about modern mindfulness is it is a upaya for the modern age. Upaya is a Buddhist concept. How do you reach people? Most people don’t care about enlightenment. Actually, a lot of people may not even care about being a good person.

Thal:

That’s true.

Shinzen Young:

I’ve actually had students that were criminals. Professional criminals. Now I can’t, um, you know, I couldn’t affirm their lifestyle, but I taught them. I will teach them and because I’m setting the stage for possible lifestyle changes, I’m, I’m, I’m fine with that. Um, not everyone even wants to be a good person, but everyone has something they want. And whatever it is, a competent mindfulness coach… we can’t guarantee that they’ll deliver it. But we can say with time, if you keep up the regimen for the duration, it’s likely at some point in your life, likely that in fact, yeah, you’ll sort of get that. But as if that weren’t powerful enough, the same attentional skills and the same focus strategies that you would use to deconstruct your back pain, you can also use that to deconstruct your anxiety or your confusion. And so a Modern Mindfulness teacher is a kind of a device that transforms the world’s small concept of happiness as a goal to this huge concept of happiness. But the same skills and techniques are applied for all types and levels of happiness. So by the aesthetic canons of science, it is an extremely powerful and elegant system.

Adrian:

Shinzen, we’d love to hear some of the latest research that you’re involved in. You mentioned the research side. So how that blends into your current work and also just, I mean it’s the name of your book, the Science of Enlightenment. We want to hear about the path of Enlightenment. Is it for everybody? And how is that connected to the work that you’re currently doing?

Shinzen Young:

Well, enlightenment means different things to different people. I mean, if you just go to Wikipedia disambiguation page, you’ll see how many things have been called enlightenment. I mean, there’s a period in European history that’s called the enlightenment. But this is a different meaning. Um, so if we take enlightenment to mean understanding yourself at the deepest level, then I’m going to say that it’s probably relevant for most people. In the sense that if understanding yourself at all is relevant than understanding yourself at the deepest level would be relevant, I would think as a natural consequence. Because most people want to understand themselves, at least at some level, I’m just extrapolating from that. Then if we take enlightenment to simply mean the deepest level, then that’s relevant to most people because that’s just the next step after the next step of understanding yourself. It’s also relevant because sooner or later everyone dies. And you might die quickly. Like, you know, just die in bed or you know, something, an accident just takes you out. But a lot of people aren’t going to die quickly. They’re gonna go through a dying process and all the structures that they use to cope will eventually be broken down and stripped away by that dying process or at least a lot of them. In other words, a lot of the surface stuff that constitutes our identity, the surface self that’s getting ripped away in the dying process, I mean like hour by hour, day by day, minute by minute. So a lot of people are going to go through that and there’s a natural.. In all the humans that don’t die quickly really quickly. Anyone that dies consciously is going to have to go through all of the surface levels of self being majorly fucked up and stripped away. So if you have some sense of the part of you that is so deep that it is immune to that. If you have some sense of that before the dying process, then your mortality, the mortality of everyone you care about has a different context. Furthermore, of course, once you understand yourself at that level, you’re able to fully participate in life for the first time as nothing blocking. The doingness of the personality, the somethingness of the self is gone. But the underlying doingness, the verb, the dynamics space, that is the soul that is deeper than an individual’s life and death. So if you are able to have that way before you physically die, well, that’s really the deepest and most central dimension of human happiness. So I would say, yeah, it’s relevant and it’s feasible. So it’s important to realize, I repeat, enlightenment is used in different ways by different people. So here what I’m talking about is what in the Southeast Asian tradition is called stream entry. And what in East Asia is called seeing your nature “jian shin”. Could the average householder, average might not be the word, but, uh, generally a householder, someone that has family that had that has a career, job, is it feasible that in their lifetime, that level of enlightenment, uh, could be achieved? Yeah, it’s feasible. But you have to establish and maintain the psycho-spiritual health regimen that I mentioned. See as I mentioned, for physical health. It’s a losing battle. But for psycho spiritual health that older you get that the more experience you have, the closer you get to this liberation. And you can call it liberation or enlightenment. They call it enlightenment because there’s a kind of intuitive understanding that arises. But you can call it liberation because there’s a freedom from the limited identity. So first levels of liberation enlightenment are feasible and relevant for most people, I would say. Now, full enlightenment, full liberation, that’s actually a very different critter. So I expect that a significant proportion of people that participate in my version of this training and keep it up for their whole life will get at least that initial level, but maybe not quickly and maybe not suddenly, but with time, gradually it’s probable. So that gives you a little bit of a reality check. Now, there’s full liberation. That means the full braking of the identity with the mind body process. That is a different critter. So stream entry, it’s all over the place. Uh, you’ve met, all of you have met or interacted with people, whether you knew it or not, that were stream enterers by my criteria in any way. The problem is different teachers have different criteria, right. Arhat, I mean, I spent my life in this field and I lived where it came from. Asia. Yeah. I met a few Asian masters that I think we’re in that ballpark. But that’s in 50 years and it was just a few. If you’re interested, I can give you the names, you can look up. Look them up and so forth. But complete liberation, that’s a whole other thing. But an initial taste that satisfies you for the duration, that’s feasible. Problem is, uh, you remember, I only said it’s probable and I said it might take quite a while. Um, so most people’s experience, initial experience of meditating is “I can’t do this, my mind wanders, I can’t concentrate”. Um, and very quickly they just give it up because there’s not a quick reward, in many cases. So it takes a lot of maturity to stay with it until it all starts to make sense. And you start to get some tangible… I mean, people obviously get some benefits or no one would stay with it. So we were talking about like the opioid epidemic. It’s on my mind because some of our research is probably going to be directed towards that clinical population. We’re at the University of Arizona. But we’re partnering with the major addiction recovery center in the state of Arizona. So it’s on my mind. So, heroin, man, I mean, try it two times…you know, two, three times, I guess you’re hooked, right? That’s instantly addictive. And it changes your whole life for the truly horrible in a truly horrible way. So the idea would be, well, what’s the diametric opposite of that? Something that very quickly gives you fulfillment, independent of conditions. And now, oh, I want more of that, but this isn’t an addiction. This is actually a freedom from addiction. It’s equanimity. It’s a non-grasping around pleasure. So the idea is that if we could enhance the training protocol that currently exists, which is, as I mentioned, retreat practice, life practice, get support, give support. If people want details on that, they can go to my web resources. What I mean by those things.

But if in addition to those components, people often when we start to talk about technology enhanced, whatever, they think, “oh you guys think that you can just zap people into enlightenment?” No… Not exactly. Um, but what we think is it may be possible with technology to enhance the training so that people start to get more dramatic results quicker. A lot quicker so that anyone that has an interest in this tries it a few times and it actually works. It works the way. Maybe not the way it works after 50 years. Because I’ve got 50 years. That’s, that’s a bittersweet experience. The sweet part is this shit works and yeah, everything they said would happen happened. The bitter part is you look out at the world and how many people put in 50 years of that kind of training. So if in five months, five weeks, people could get a taste of what this can really deliver, that would change the course of history precipitously for the better everywhere. Particularly if what I’m describing is folded into standard medicine. So my plot, so to speak, what is a good plot. Okay. in other words is my strategy is, uh, to um, use neuromodulation technology to not zap people into mindfulness but to induce a state of neuroplasticity where in the mindfulness training becomes more efficient and therefore the rewards are more immediate. And then it’s a global viral meme and you get it just because you visited a doctor at a hospital stay. Or you got addicted to opiates and now you’re in a recovery program. But the recovery program after we’ve detoxed you, provides you with a techno boosted mindfulness training regimen and then you maintain that to maintain sobriety. That would be one example. So what we want to do is take all of the, any major area of clinical medicine, create a techno boosted training program. Not, not some zap that we claim is going to take you into some state, but something that creates an environment wherein you can train more effectively. Um, and you get that by contact with medicine. In other words, science. Wherever you are in the world. And since medicine is medicine everywhere, it doesn’t matter whether it’s in the People’s Republic of China or under the Ayatollahs in Tehran, medicine is still medicine. And since these interventions don’t have any religious component to them, there shouldn’t be any pushback. So the idea would be to weave…to sort of enlarge what medicine does from relieving suffering by curing diseases or relieve suffering by palliating symptoms. That’s what medicine now does. So a larger view of medicine is medicine cures suffering. Or medicine allows you to be happy at the deepest and broadest formulation. Uh, and that’s what medicine delivers. So this would then make optimal happiness part of all human cultures. So that’s the dream. That’s the holy grail. Now, the trick is, are there neuromodulations that can do this? A lot of people claim that they have that. To which I say bullshit. And here’s why. If we really had that or if we have had that for a while, see, one of the things about sciences is that causes have consequences. So the kind of technology of enlightenment that I’m envisaging would dramatically change the world for the better. Look around at everything that people are offering that says, hey, this is it. I’m going to microdose you with the psilocybin. But we’re gonna do this new expensive neurofeedback. We’re going to blah, blah, blah. Okay, fine. Is it a reasonable hypothesis that knowledge of this intervention will in the next century, fundamentally change the name of the game on this planet from competition for limited resources to… Well, yeah, there’s that, but there’s also how much fulfillment you get from what you got and turns out that’s even more important. Will these technologies end war, more or less. Will they end social injustice, more or less? Will they end violence? Well I said wars, crime. Okay. Is that, it’s this super neurofeedback or this microdosing of psilocybin. Is this all we need? This plus a hundred years essentially this planet is now Heavan on earth? Extrapolate. I don’t think so! Not even remotely. I don’t know. But maybe, that plus mindfulness plus a hundred years, but maybe we don’t have a hundred years. Um, so I’m asking for something more dramatic. A lot more dramatic. We don’t know if it exists, but it’s certainly worth looking for. And if you were to ask me to make my best candidate and best candidate doesn’t mean I think this is gonna work. It’s just the best out of everything I’ve seen so far. But I’m not claiming it will work. And I’m also not claiming it’s safe, by the way. So very careful about claims because people make claims. Irresponsible claims. It really frosts my buns. But my best guess for where to start is ultrasonic neuromodulation. Low intensity focused ultrasound directed to ego hubs, grasping hubs that could perhaps relax that a little bit and create the situation where people can get dramatic results fairly quickly. That would be my best candidate. But that’s not saying Shinzen Young thinks it’s a good candidate. It’s just the most promising I’ve seen so far. We have a lab called SEMA lab at the University of Arizona that stands for Sonication Enhanced Mindful Awareness training lab. Um, and that’s what we’re looking into at this time.

Adrian:

Thank you for sharing that.

Thal:

Wow.

Shinzen Young:

Uh, you guys should have Jay on too. He’s my PI. He’s the director of the lab. I’m in charge of a protocol development.

Adrian:

It feels tangible too because you’ve also identified a timeframe, right? Like the goal of within the next century, you know, would be ideal. Um, and then also the imminent like needing to accelerate this too. There’s a sense of urgency of finding that technology to speed up what has a proven track record, the methodologies and, but then to augment it with the modern…[chuckling] We started this conversation with what modern means. But it sounds like it’s, you know, yet to be discovered. So there’s an excitement to this type of work.

Shinzen Young:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, if people are interested, they can go to youtube and find Jay Sanguinetti. And he talks about the, what the work that we’re doing.

Thal:

Um, I’m still thinking about the word enlightenment. An, is it for everyone? And is it a goal that we should all aspire to? Um, I think it’s just, I don’t have a specific question around enlightenment, but maybe how is it relevant for our generation? Uh, I really don’t have a specific question. What I’m thinking about is thinking about some friends who would listen to the word enlightened and be like, “pfff” like really? I mean, do I have to sit… Yeah.

Shinzen Young:

Hence, you don’t have to call it enlightenment and maybe we shouldn’t call it enlightenment. I called it enlightenment because that’s just what I called it. Right. But, um, when I go to the People’s Republic of China, probably this year, I’m going to just call it understanding yourself at the deepest level.

Thal:

Yes. I think that answers my question. Yeah. Understanding ourselves is part of the meaning crisis really.

Shinzen Young:

Sure.

Thal:

Absolutely. Yeah.

Shinzen Young:

So there’s your answer, right. And this word is used to translate certain Asian terms, but we can get you there without calling it enlightenment.

Thal:

Right.

Shinzen Young:

Um, I would just call it understanding yourself at the deepest level and that makes, that makes it normal. That normalizes it. So you’re right. Uh, enlightenment, even though it’s on my book is actually not a good word moving forward.

Thal:

Anything else you want to ask?

Shinzen Young:

Well you got a lot more than 70 minutes. But use it as you wish, you know, chop it up. Parcel it out.

Thal:

Yeah. The way I see it. This is an opportunity. So anything you say is our gems really. So thank you. Thank you.

Adrian:

Are there, are there any teachers like currently that you have a relationship with? Dead or alive? I was actually curious because, you know, I see you…

Shinzen Young:

Do you mean that they function as a teacher.

Adrian:

Yeah, you’re a student to them. Yeah having that relation.

Shinzen Young:

Not at this time, no. But we’re sort of co-teacher’s to each other. So in that sense, I would think the dialoguing that I do with other teachers, we’re all sort of teaching each other at this point. Um, but I don’t have a formal relationship with anyone. Neither do I think of the people that utilize my programs as being my disciples or, I mean we call them students, but, um, it’s really more of a, yeah. I don’t, I don’t have that, uh, Asian lineage thing. That is very important for cultural reasons in that part of the world. But you know, I’m not going to have successors and I encourage people to just utilize any resources that are available that are competent in this area. So I guess because I don’t look upon myself as a teacher in the sense of, you know, um, do what I say because you know, you have to sorta in some way surrender to me as your teacher. I don’t think of my students in that relationship. So I guess I don’t think I need that relationship with someone else at this point.

Thal:

Actually I have, The Science of Enlightenment in an audio book and I’ve like been listening to it on and off. And there was a story that you mentioned speaking again of, and I love the word enlightenment. You, uh, one of your teachers, you asked him to, um, I hope I’m getting this right. You asked him to teach you an advanced form of meditation. I really loved that story and maybe you can share that and, um, like the experience of like enlightenment moment.

Shinzen Young:

Um, can you, uh, refresh me on the details of the story?

Thal:

I think you were in, I don’t know, I think you were probably in Japan, I’m not sure. And and it was a zen teacher and you ask them to give you an advanced…

Shinzen Young:

Is this like I was doing breath than I wanted…

Thal:

Yes! And you wanted something more advanced and he’s like, really? There are people who have done breath for years.

Shinzen Young:

Well, there’s several parts to that story, but yeah, I was doing the breath and I was going to be leaving Japan. So oh wait, no, I’m conflating the past. Hold it just second. That’s what happens. Um, okay. No, it was not when I was about to leave. I’ve been… Yes. I’d been practicing for several months. Uh, the standard Chan breath counting. And then yeah, I went to him and I asked for a more advanced practice and because he was in, you know, there’s sort of, some of the Zen masters are ferocious. It sounds, uh, sort of, I don’t know, um, romantic or somehow interesting culturally that there would be masters who are ferocious, but I can tell you it gets old really quick, right. Really quick. But that’s a whole other thing. So anyway, yeah, he was like “there have been people who have done 40 years of zen practice…” Yes. In Japanese so it’s even more macho.

Thal:

[laughing]

Shinzen Young:

Yeah. Try to remember the original Japanese. But anyway, it was like, “who do you think you are kid? You just begun to begun to begun”. And it’s true. Now I’ve met people that spent 40 years at the tip of their nose and it worked that, that, that, you know, that did it. Um, but did you want me to say what would the more advanced practice was?

Thal:

Yes.

Shinzen Young:

Well, it wasn’t really a more advanced practice. That’s sort of the whole point. It was a different practice.

Thal:

Yes.

Shinzen Young:

It was self inquiry in the Buddhist form. Answer this question: who are you? Which is of courses, you’re being asked to understand yourself at the deepest level. So it all comes full circle, right?

Thal:

Absolutely. Yeah. It’s, um, it’s interesting because when you said it, there’s this romantic idea and it gets old really fast. I just went to a 10-day Vipassana and going through the practice everyday, they today is not romantic at all. It’s painful. So I admire your dedication and those years that you spent, I mean…

Shinzen Young:

Yeah, but I hope that you continue with formal practice or with systematic practice. You may or may not want to work in that tradition.

Thal:

Right.

Shinzen Young:

I actually lived at Mr. Goenka’s Center in India and it’s a wonderful, powerful way of working.

Thal:

Yeah.

Shinzen Young:

Okay.

Adrian:

It’s a real pleasure.

Shinzen Young:

It’s a wrap.

Thal:

Thank you.

Adrian:

Thank you.

#12: Reclaiming the Inner Teen with Avi Zer-Aviv

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

Jiddu Krishnamurti

One of the most important aspects of healing is tending to our emotional wounds. We have all been hurt. It might look different from one person to another, but some of our wounds are deep and carry a specific age. When we are trying to work on our wholeness, we may have to pay attention to our inner child or our inner teen. Bringing back the lost parts of ourselves and integrating into maturity is the essence of self-development.

On this episode, we have a conversation with Avi Zer-Aviv, a Toronto-based Psychotherapist and educator. Avi is a member of the Canadian Humanistic and Transpersonal Association and a LGBTQI positive Practitioner. Avi’s holistic approach to psychotherapy is informed by decades of deep inner work and spiritual exploration. In this conversation, we discuss the role of psychotherapy in modern society and learn the tricky dance of working with activated “inner teens”. Avi shows us how our deepest wounds can end up becoming our biggest doorways to personal transformation.

Highlights:

  • Difference Between a Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Psychiatrist
  • Psychology of the Inner Teen
  • Healthy vs Unhealthy Shame

Resources:

Listen:

Poem Inspired by This Episode

Full Transcript

Thal:

Hello Avi, Welcome to the show.

Avi:

Thank you for having me.

Thal:

Thank you. Thank you for coming on. Um, we wanted to start today with, uh, your personal journey. Um, you have been a psychotherapist now for a few years. Um, please let us know how did you get there?

Avi:

I’ll give you the coles notes.

Thal:

Alright.

Avi:

Um never thought I would be a therapist. Never set out to be a therapist. I had a sort of an early awakening when I was a teenager, sorta grew up in the suburbs of Toronto up in York region and white picket fence sort of life. I’m not really religious. I’m very much consumer. And I started to find myself wanting more of probably around 12 or 13 starting to think about things that, um, mystery, the mystery of life, but I didn’t really have any one to bounce anything off of. Um, and um, I had an, I have an aunt and uncle were kind of at the time were sort of the black sheep of the family and they, uh, asked me up to their cottage up in a Bancroft Ontario and I spent 10 days there, and it felt like I found my tribe. I remember thinking that when I was teenager, like, oh, these are my people.

Adrian:

So how were they different from the rest of your family? How are they black sheeps?

Avi:

Uh, they were, they just didn’t drink the Kool-aid of, you know, what is your, what the program of life is supposed to be. They were travellers, they were um, uh, spent a lot of time in Asia. They owned, they owned a, uh, an Indian clothing store on Queen West and meditated and were vegetarians and just things that were off the beaten track. Um, and um, yeah, so I, I intuitively felt that I’d found people I could talk to about things that I’ve been really hungry to talk about and that was kind of where it all started.

Thal:

That’s awesome because those questions that you have at that young age, a lot of people do have those questions and don’t know where to go and sometimes that causes more anxiety.

Avi:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s, it’s very easy to get isolated. Yes. Yeah, for sure. Um, so I felt really lucky, but then I had to come back to my suburban life and the contrast made things even more painful. Um, so I became kind of a rebellious teenager and uh, just was counting the minutes until high school was finished so I could go traveling, which is something really wanted to do and that’s exactly what I did. I, I the minute high school ended I set off and lived in Asia for a year and I myself in India for six months, on a spiritual pilgrimage and meditated my brains out. Lived in south India, different ashrams. The Aurobindo Ashram, Ramana Maharishi Ashram, and I went pretty deep with my meditation practices. But when I got back to Toronto I realized that wasn’t really in my body. I was very much opening a lot of doorways, but I was kind of, my energy was going up and I sort of left body behind and um, that’s how I just might, my instinct was to just to meditate more and that just seemed to perpetuate this kind of feeling of ungroundedness and just feeling of kind of not wanting to be in the world, just wanting to meditate back to whatever source was/is. And uh, then I started getting panic attacks in my early twenties, which was the invitation to psychotherapy.

Thal:

How old were you when you were in India?

Avi:

18.

Thal:

And it’s usually at that age, um, and you know, you going after the spiritual path without the embodied part is what may have caused, um, you wanting to escape, escape your body.

Avi:

Absolutely.

Thal:

And, and so psychotherapy helped you integrate body and soul?

Avi:

yeah, it came very reluctantly. I didn’t really believe that psychotherapy was a valuable tool because of the sort of focus on content, on story and on narrative, on history. I sort of, from a, from a young sort of a this not in not integrated spiritual lens, that was just ego indulging itself and that wasn’t, that was just kind of getting caught in the web of you know, at the time when I called maya, or illusion and so I really didn’t come in, in an open hearted voluntary. I came in really because these panic attacks were getting worse so much so I would have them on the street and feel like I would just couldn’t interact socially. Um, and so I really came to just, I wanted someone to help me get rid of these panic attacks and I gave myself a year to get and get back to my spiritual practice. I could go and become enlightened [laughing]. You know, what is it now 20 something years later? For me, psychotherapy was a doorway into an integrated spirituality. So I didn’t have to leave my spirituality behind. What I did have to leave behind was an idea of spirituality, though that was really about not being here in the world, which in my opinion, any good spirituality is one that is of the earth and is in life. We’re here, we’re alive, we’re in this body, and so why not be here?

Thal:

Exactly. That’s very important to remember because even the word spirituality, a lot of people find it problematic or don’t understand it and assume that it’s about escaping when in reality, all the authentic spiritual teachings are about being in the world and enacting your humanity in the world.

Avi:

Yes, yes.

Adrian:

It sounded like you had your panic attacks and so it was when things were so bad that forced you to, okay, now try, try new things. And psychotherapy, you went into it somewhat skeptical. It sounded like you, you know, you didn’t really fully buy into the idea of it. Um, you even set a deadline in a year if you want to be fixed and then you can just continue on with your meditation. What changed? So what at what moment did it start to shift for you when you realize, okay, this is not what I thought it was and what was it? What, what did it become for you?

Avi:

I worked with a really interesting therapist who was very much all about the here and now. And I thought, oh great. The present moment. There’s nothing like the present moment. This is a spiritual approach. Yet I didn’t, I didn’t have a sense of how much I didn’t want to be in the moment emotionally and vulnerably that I wanted to be in the moment with lofty concepts of mysticism and um, uh, you know, big picture stuff. But to be finite in the moment, to be raw, naked, emotionally naked in the moment was not only painful but was… Opened the door to my deep wounds and all my… And so I, this therapist was really challenging, did not, did not really like it, did not, not so much like, but really challenged me to stay in the moment with him. And, um, that’s not an easy thing when you haven’t been, when you’re not steeped in that and when that isn’t the way you’ve been brought up.

Thal:

Absolutely. And this is the, um, I guess, psychological arm of this spiritual path. A lot of people, um, you know, seek spirituality as a way to bypass a psychological trauma.

Avi:

yes,

Thal:

You know, developmental trauma, whatever, the pain of being human. And um, and so it sounds like psychotherapy in your life was a tool to bring you back into your body.

Avi:

It was. But you know, it’s interesting, when I first started spiritual practices at a really young age, Yoga, vegetarianism, I was amazed at how much clearing happened. And I think it’s a very common experience for a lot of people that don’t, that have just kind of, it’s a great starting point, spiritual practices. And it really does have a way of. A lot of these practices have a way of clearing energy and opening energy and expanding energy. And so, um, you know, in the moment you can be a little bliss bunny because you go from living a humdrum, mundane life to all of a sudden having visions or feeling waves of energy. I, everyone has a different thing, but it’s very intoxicating and beautiful doorway possibly for a lot of people in it. I think psychotherapy is just the downward movement. So if you think about spirituality is an upward movement. This is just the, the integration of, so you could say cosmos and the mundane and the transcendent and the imminent.

Adrian:

Since Thal and I are both training to be therapist, we are commonly asked what is the difference between psychotherapy and seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? There’s all these kinds of terminologies and credentials. Maybe this is a good chance for us to help kind of differentiate a little bit some of the differences and why you might seek one over the other.

Avi:

Sure, sure. Um, you know, psychotherapy up until the last few years has not been regulated in Ontario. So anybody could call themselves a psychotherapist and the focus of psychotherapists is psychotherapy, is counselling. It’s interventions around looking at people’s struggle, all of our struggle that the human struggle that we’re all in, but then our own personal struggles in our lives and essentially what gets in our way. That’s the, that’s the core of everything is what’s, what gets in our way of who we know we already are in how we want to live. And uh, the work of a psychotherapist is to help a client open to that and explore that and help the client get out of their way if they want to. Tt’s soul work. It’s the work of deep soul work. Now this is my lens of psychotherapy. Now there’s a lot of different types of psychotherapies. There’s cognitive behavioral therapy, which is more practical and psychoanalytic psychotherapy, which is more interpretive, but the kind of psychotherapy that I’ve been trained in and that has been my healing path is more a relational psychotherapy. It’s more psychodynamic, more, um, more opening to the mystery of self and without trying to fix or solve, but really taking the invitation to go deeper into the mystery. So that’s my unique experience and sort of how I look at psychotherapy. Now psychotherapy is now regulated in Ontario as of the last few years, um, through the college of psychotherapists, CRPO and um, uh, so to be, to call yourself a psychotherapists you have to be a registered psychotherapist. There’s a whole training involved. Um, do you want to know now that it’s sort of the distinction between…

Adrian:

I think it’d be helpful because some people have heard of, okay, I saw a psychiatrist and maybe they are also don’t know, is that psychotherapy? Right? Or a psychologist, you know, even looking at like in a very practical sense like insurance coverage, they might see, oh, I’m covered for all these things, but what’s the difference? They all start with a ‘p’ and I don’t know, you know, they’ll have psyche in it. They seem to be related to the mind because I, I’m sure there are lots of overlaps, but for a consumer who is new and is searching, it might be helpful to provide some guidance.

Avi:

Psychologist, it’s a doctoral program and they’re trained… The specialty with a psychologist is diagnosis. They’re very much trained around diagnosing mental health issues, mental health conditions, and they’re legally allowed to diagnose. Psycho therapist can assess, we can’t diagnose, but we can treat, um, whereas psychologists can diagnose and treat. There are a lot of psychologists that do psychotherapy in the sense of counseling and having these kinds of conversations with people. Um, the focus for many psychologists is diagnosis in that sort of their specialty area. Whereas the psychiatrist is a medical doctor who is trained in their specialty is prescribing medication. And um, uh, now, you know, a psychiatrist can do psychotherapy and psychologists can do psychotherapy, but psychotherapists can’t diagnose like a psychologist can and psychotherapists can’t prescribe like a psychiatrist can. So does that kind of clear up a little bit of the…?

Adrian:

I think that’s a great distinction. Having a sense of even the scope of what they’re trained to do and what they offer.

Thal:

I’m a second year student, a phd in transpersonal psychology. So, I definitely cannot prescribe or diagnose even because it’s not clinical psychology.

Avi:

Right.

Thal:

Um, it’s more, I would say it’s closer to the psychotherapeutic arm of mental health. Um, but a lot of people do also ask what does transpersonal mean? I’m from your description of psychotherapy. That’s, that’s the transpersonal, that’s the, uh, the, the, the space beyond the ego and um, and, and, and through my program, um, we’re able to sort of connect that with empirical research and I’m sort of, we look into how the brain functions during meditation and altered states and all that. So, um, and that’s all within the realm of mental health.

Avi:

The word transpersonal is misinterpreted heavily because the word itself, trans beyond personal beyond the self. Yes. There is an aspect to us that is bigger than ourselves, but it doesn’t mean we don’t get to take the self with us. It doesn’t mean the self sort of dissolves into nothingness and the spirit comes through and um, you know, is running the show without any. I like to the, the sort of adage that I really like when it comes to helping people understand what is transpersonal psychotherapy and what is just the transpersonal itself is, you know, do you guys know the saying it’s not the uh, you know, that whole idea of spirituality being like we’re like all like drops that drop into the ocean and sort of the ocean as the bigger, bigger consciousness, bigger, whatever your name for that is, whether it’s God or Goddess or whatever your thing. So I like to, when I, when I’m trying to explain what is transpersonal, I really like to say it’s not the drop that slips into the ocean, but it’s the ocean that slips into the drop. And that to me is what an embodied spirituality is. You don’t actually get to dissolve yourself, but you do get to take yourself along with, for the bigger ride that is bigger than you. It is bigger than your what do I want? What do I fear? It’s bigger than your wounds. So there is a place that’s bigger than our wounds. Truly. Yeah.

Thal:

And to get to that place, we have to understand her wounds and confront them.

Avi:

Absolutely. Absolutely. That is the price.

Adrian:

So on that note, since we brought up, um, you bring up a few things that are, I think are really important to highlight just so your approach to therapy as embracing the mystery of self, right? So really it’s a journey of getting to know parts of yourself that maybe you have either forgotten or didn’t place much attention and the wounded parts being probably a key part to actually focus on in the therapeutic relationship. Can you maybe share with us what that’s like for people that might not have experienced therapy? What does that process like and how might these old wounds show up in people’s current lives and how they experience the world?

Avi:

Do you mean how therapists work with wounds or how I would work with a wound as a therapist?

Adrian:

Maybe give an example for how it would show up for a person that might not be aware that these old wounds are affecting their experience of the world and that the way they interact with other people because it perhaps is not conscious yet.

Avi:

I see. I see, um, well wounds are a tricky business because to be alive is to be wounded. And what I mean by that is we’re our, our true nature is vast and spacious and wants to merge with everything. This is kind of like the true spiritual identity of who we all are. And so, and then we’re all tossed into this existence where you have a body and you’re called Adrian and we all have different names and you have a, you know, we have separate bodies and separate experiences and we’re sort of tossed to figure it out on our own. So that in itself creates an existential crisis that is just called life, right? This vast, expansive spirit trying to reconcile, living in a finite, um, singular experience. It’s William Blake, one of my favorite, a really great poet, uh, you know, he says eternity, which he’s saying like life source, eternity is in love with time and space. But to become, to go into the time and space, it has to be dismembered. It has to be broken. That pure vast spirit has to be. It’s like a shard of broken glass that you call it, that we’re all calling our separate selves. So it, you know, um, just to breathe and to take up space in a way is to be wounded. There’s a book called, uh, I think it’s called The Trauma of Birth and it’s essentially not, not birth trauma, but it’s just traumatic to be born in an existential sense.

Adrian:

It’s the price of admission.

Avi:

It’s the price of admission. So it’s, it’s a negotiation and um, you don’t have to have had a terrible childhood to… You could have a great childhood and you’re still in those waters. Now, for some people, like you said it, some people are more tuned into that level of, of their self, of their being, and other people are less tuned in and that’s okay. That’s, there’s no, I don’t think that, you know, at some point in life we all will struggle with this for a lot of people. It does come out around Midlife. It’s when a lot of people start to become a little more reflective, but some of us, and that’s all of us in this room actually, um, or just kind of have more of an orientation to introspection.

Thal:

And some people want to tune in, but have palpable wounds that maybe act as an obstacle. Um, and perhaps that’s what Adrian was trying to or was hinting at. Um, maybe developmental traumas or actual traumas. I mean, we’re not gonna go into the details of that, but that, those also can be obstacles or the tools. Yes. If confronted to, to, um, like tune in to the bigger self.

Avi:

Well, because our culture doesn’t give us enough tools, there aren’t enough elders in the culture to help us understand what these wounds are when they come up. The they come up through symptoms is, is because we don’t have enough elders to guide us. They do show up, but they come up through, you know, when I mentioned panic attacks in my case or it will be something different. Most people come to therapy for one of two things. Anxiety or depression or some variation of anxiety or depression means a hyper state (anxiety) or a hypo state (depression). And most, you know, the way, um, it’s like coming back to my story, just I want to get rid of this. It’s just that helped me get rid of my wound to help me fix my wound so I can go back and become spiritual person again. Whereas from an integrated, from an integrated psychotherapy and an integrated spirituality, those symptoms are the doorways to the gods. And what I mean by that is that in, in the exploration of what we’re calling wounds. What we’re calling our symptoms is not just pain and suffering, but is a whole ocean of, of who knows what, desire, longing, yearning, heartbreak, unmet dreams, unmet potentials. And if you follow that, it’s hard to follow that. To follow that means you have to really feel it. And, but if you can stay with it, if you can, if you can follow that thread, um, entire doors that were not there will open for you. So at the end of the day, it’s not so much, okay, I fixed my wounds. Now it’s more, the wound is an invitation into living a fuller, richer, more embodied life and having richer connections with people. I think the deep longing of the times is around connection. Um, there’s a deep isolation that we’re all of us experience and um, the instinct is to fill it with stuff, just name the substance that you know, just think about your life and what substance you go to to fill your need for connection. Right? And so this approach is like an alternative to just try and fill that place inside with stuff. It’s actually looking at the raw energy itself of the desire of the need and seeing how you live in your own skin and how do you, how do you feed yourself spiritually, how do you care for your own being? And a lot of that, that’s a mystery to a lot of people. How to just self care in the sense of …

Thal:

Inner work.

Avi:

Inner work and just being kind, being kind to self. That’s a mystery from..

Thal:

Self compassion.

Avi:

Self compassion, right?

Adrian:

I think a lot of people might actually be surprised to hear this, but even as adults, you’re walking around thinking, okay, I’m a full grown adult that we’re carrying with us many parts of self, including our child selves, right? Especially the ones who are carrying the wounds if these wounds happen early in life. Um, so we are walking with all these selves all the time and I think it’s a helpful language almost to even be able to name some of this stuff and start to just begin to get some clarity in the potentially messy experience that we’re having, you know, when, when someone is overwhelmed with anxiety to realize that, you know, maybe some of it is a longing or a crying for help and it’s coming from the inner child parts. Um, would you mind sharing with us what that might look like in a therapeutic setting where people are working with their, their inner child or. Sure. Or the term, you know, we often hear is reparenting, you know, when we’re learning to reparent these wounds.

Avi:

Something that you said just now, I’m sorta just, I just want to come back for a second to the cult, to our culture itself.

Thal:

Modernity.

Avi:

Modernity. Krishnamurti, a modern philosopher from India said, it’s no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. And the reason I want to come back to that is there are people that are just more sensitive by nature and those are the people that often end up in therapy, younger. It’s all of you, all of us. And uh, you know, to be sensitive in a world that is on fire, on, in so many ways is a very challenging thing to be really awake in these times or environmental catastrophe. And crisis of meaning. It’s to really look at that, to really be open. It’s, it’s not an easy time to be an awake person and to be a sensitive person. So, um, I just want to say this because just to give people listening a compass here actually, if you’re, if you’re feeling wounded and you’re probably more healthy. So I’m being a little facetious, but what I mean by that is, um, it’s okay to. It’s okay to feel. It’s okay to, um, you know, struggle. It’s actually a sign that you’re alive when you struggle.

Adrian:

I think that’s so important to highlight. I mean in a, in a culture that is I think celebrates intellect and being able to rise into the cognitive parts of being that we lose sense of like it’s talking about the sensitivity through the body, through our emotions, and although it’s painful, it might actually be a sign that you’re waking up, that your beginning …

Avi:

And that you’re and that you’re part of you is listening to what’s happening around you.

Thal:

That you’re alive!

Avi:

Yes, that you’re alive! And reacting to what you know.

Thal:

Congratulations, you’re not a robot. [laughing]

Avi:

You’re not a robot, you’re not a robot. There’s such a fear right now of being impacted of impacting each other, that, that what you do and what you say in how he, God forbid that should impact me or God forbid what I do or say should impact you. It’s like we’ve come to a point now where it’s like, it’s that absurd, right? We’re afraid of impacting each other, where that is the whole point right here. That’s the whole reason of being alive is that’s the other word to say that is relationship. I impact you and you impact me. That’s the nature of relationship and so I’m coming back to being wounded, um, you know, using that as an invitation to what’s happening around you, what’s happening inside of you and all of your relationships inner and out. And so yes, we have Adrian about your question. We have relationship with parts of ourself that are at different stages developmentally, including a younger, more, um, a younger aspects of our own history, of our own self that live in us and we are in relationship with them. Uh, whether it’s our infant, part of our nature, pre-verbal part of our nature. I’m sort of more adolescent aspect. We, we do have relationship with aspects of self and I don’t mean that in a sort of defined sort of compartmentalized way. I mean it in the sense of who we are as a tapestry. Yes, just like life. And so we’re, we’re relating to different aspects of ourselves all the time. Unconsciously. Mostly.

Thal:

It is the complexity of being a human. We are not too deep, like, you know, there, there are so many layers to our existence and speaking of that, we’d like to go into the inner teen. That’s a term that we’ve heard you mentioned before. And um, what, what, what does that mean? And um, yeah, yeah.

Adrian:

How is it different from the Child?

Thal:

Exactly.

Adrian:

Yeah. There clearly are differences when we entered teenage years and how it affects us psychologically.

Avi:

So just coming back to what we’re talking about is the collage of our inner self. There’s different parts, um, were mostly encouraged to walk around with what we call an adult. If we are in adults, assuming we’re assuming chronologically we’re in that part of our life. And that could be different things too, but the idea is to be, you know, the adult part of us is autonomous and can make decisions for ourselves and is in negotiation with life, with prioritizing what’s important. And it’s, it’s kind of, you can think of it as a muscle in your, in your mind that, uh, is discerning and that knows how to respond to situations and people. And, and, and there isn’t, I just want to say when, because it’s very easy to fall into, um, perfection. We’re not talking, I’m not talking about any kind of utopic idealized sense. It’s just you could say the part of you that the part of us that knows how to navigate our life and knows how to, um, I don’t know, what’s the word I’m looking for is that knows how to.

Thal:

I’m thinking maybe like these are like bringing up these terms are just tools for us, like you said, to help us navigate our lives. Um, and uh, it’s not an end goal and it’s not. When we talk about the inner teen does not mean, okay, that means I have to grow into the adult. Yes. It’s, these are just tools for us to navigate our growth, our path in life.

Avi:

Yeah. It’s a lens to Lens.

Thal:

Yes.

Avi:

So this lens of adult is this lens of who we think we are mostly. And um, and then what do we do with the parts of us that come up that are more at a different developmental stage, the teen, the child. And so what is the teen? Uh, you know, it’s really interesting because there isn’t a lot of, we don’t often talk about our inner teen. You hear in popular psychology in books, the inner child is like, there’s hundreds if not thousands of books written on the inner child and how to work with the inner child. And that’s an easy concept for most people. Yeah. You got to have a young kid living inside of you. The kid feels things that kids feel it just named them. If the kid is, if the kid is a happy kid, the kid feels spontaneous and joyous and wants to play. And if the kid is not happy, the kid feels ashamed. The kid feels, um, maybe self-loathing, whatever it is. But it’s a very easy concept to grasp and most people can go, “oh yeah, yeah, there’s part of me that feels very young and shy and all these things”. But when it comes to the inner teen we’re getting into the weeds, because what happens when we actually move in our actual lives, when we move from being children to being adolescents, there’s a radical change happening in our bodies and in our minds and it’s a time where so much energy has to be mobilized to make that transition from childhood to adulthood. It’s a liminal intermediary time. And so the sort of life force us to really mobilize because if biologically, if we can’t do this, we really don’t grow up psychologically. And so there’s a tremendous energy that comes through in being an adolescent and we don’t, again, coming back to the culture, we don’t have a lot of guides for adolescence. Um, you know, there’s, there’s just such a lack of mentorship around what all these changes are. And so we’re, we, we’re often taught to shut it down and anything you shut down goes on the back burner and then it will show up later. And so a lot of us adults are walking around with a very activated inner teen and this inner teen is different than the inner child is not so much about the child kind of just wants to be nurtured in a very basic, elemental level. Children need gathering, support, to be seen, to be acknowledged. It’s very much about dependence needs from a childhood developmental level, an adolescent as a very different developmental need. It’s a time where you don’t want to be coddled and sort of held in that same way. It’s actually a time of… But it’s actually not a time where you want to be left to do your own thing either. In that liminal time it’s a time of rebellion, but even in their rebellion, you want to be there. There’s an energy that teenagers… I don’t know if anyone has teenagers in their life here…they want to be met often, even in their rebellion.

Thal:

My son is a preteen, so this helps.

Avi:

Okay. Well, especially boys, a lot of, a lot of boys with their mothers. Relationship with their mothers. It’s really a time that the psychological umbilical cord is cut and so on the one side that’s “get away from me, mom” but on the other side, on the other side, it’s “don’t leave me”, right?. It’s helpful for when the teenage knows there’s a place to come back to, to check in. So it’s an interdependent time, not a time of independence and not a time of dependence. It’s an interdependent time. It’s a very tricky dance and again, because the culture is very young in the sense of what to do with these energies. For many of us, we just bury that teen at the time when it’s happening, or spin out. You can bury the energy or you can spin out and act it out. So it’s that more stereotypical, rebellious teenager that tells everyone to F off and, you know. But even that it doesn’t fulfill the deeper need there, which is, um, “what do I… What the hell do I do with all of this life force channeling through me?” There’s an inner sexuality that’s being awakened. There’s um, you know, there’s an identity that’s being shed, but the new identity hasn’t been formed yet. So many, so many things happening. And so.. Fast forward later in your life, we all have an inner teen. I was a very rebellious teenager and just did what I wanted and didn’t really care. It’s a time of risk taking. I took a lot of risks as a teenager. Like I had a lot of luck. I didn’t get into as much trouble as I could have. And not everyone’s that lucky, but you know, I find that people that have been more on the Yang side of risk taking and acting out later in their life. Like I’m in my forties now and what I’ve been confronting over the last few years is an inner teen that is more quiet and shy. And that is a really unfamiliar territory for me because I was the exact opposite. So it’s kind of as when I tune into my teen he’s often really shy and I find working with people who have had the opposite experience kind of people that say “that oh my teenage years were fine. I didn’t really have any, you know, I was kind of just an obedient, quiet, good, good girl, good boy…”

Thal:

Yeah, you’re describing me! [laughing]

Avi:

People like you are fascinating because then they come to therapy and it’s like all this, all these jars just started opening and then all the, all the unmet, you know, all that life force. And it’s like, what do I do with it? So it’s good to create a podcast.

Thal:

Thank you Adrian! [laughing]

Adrian:

Even tuning into the energy of the conversation. I feel like this, you’ve mentioned the mobilization of energy. I’m feeling it as we’re speaking to, the teens are in the room now. You know, they’re mobilized. But I’m also getting… Kind of picking up on the importance of grounding that energy. And that sounds to be the key to this work is to find a way to work with that energy, not to diminish it and not to waste it.

Avi:

Yeah. The trick is grounding without shutting down because there’s a lot of talk about grounding and grounding is great, but you have to. We just have to be careful when it comes to the teen. The teen doesn’t want to… That energy does not necessarily want to ground. This is why working with our inner teen is not so simple. The nature of therapy is containment. You come in, you sit down, you have a conversation. Teenagers are future thinking. They don’t want to talk about what happened when they were five or what or what happened…Even when there are few…. it’s a drive. It’s visionary. A visionary energy. Therapy can feel like another suffocating place for an inner teen. So yes, that energy that you’re tuning into definitely needs grounding, but it has to be a very clever kind of grounding. Otherwise it can be instructive and it can come across as just someone telling me what to do.

Adrian:

Which is the last thing a teen wants to hear.

Avi:

So how to sort of, you know, trick somebody into grounding themselves. And it’s a, it’s like I love working with people’s inner teen because I know that place really well in myself and it’s not, it doesn’t freak me out at all. I actually find it really energizing and very… As a therapist, I’m learning a lot because I often get pushed back like, you know, “I don’t want to do that” or “God, I’m so sick of this”. Or “Oh God, you know, another therapist”. I don’t. “I’m sick of talking about my mom and dad”. Great. Because for me, I have to throw out the book of what I think I’m doing and I have to create a new therapy for this person by following them. And so yes, grounding, but on the teens’ terms. That’s where it gets complicated and tricky. Yeah.

Adrian:

Yeah. And, and the word sometimes I hear people use is transmute. So we’re maybe perhaps working with that energy. So by grounding it in where they feel like you’re trying to control them, it’s probably squashing it and we’re squandering this opportunity. I’m the visionary energy. It almost sounds it can be very productive. That’s going to actually, you know, it might be disruptive as it’s appearing in their life, but perhaps with the right guidance, it can actually be turned into a very productive transformation.

Avi:

Absolutely. Absolutely. I think so. And um, it’s only as we are seeing in the culture right now, it’s only young people that are going to be the leaders, to face the evolutionary crisis that we’re in right now. The environmental crisis and the crisis of meaning. It’s really young people that are going to pave for the way forward. And we just saw it in the United States with the midterm elections that just happened. All these incredible young people being elected, um, that are visionaries and are not afraid to put bold ideas that are necessary if we’re going to meet the sort of struggle of the time. And so it’s really, we need this energy. We need the energy. And yet we have to figure out how to help people, actual real teenagers, how to hold that energy because the life force in us is not. It’s actually transpersonal in the sense that it comes through us. It’s too big to hold. And when that kind of awakening starts to happen in people, it’s scary.

Thal:

It is. And when you say the word grounding, I remember that word. I like when I first started my own therapy. I was so annoyed with that word. I’ve been in the ground like “I’m done with being in the..” you know. Yeah. So, um, so even that word, like what does it mean to ground? Yeah.

Avi:

For me, what it means is to help somebody figure out how to be in what’s inside without shutting down and spinning out. And that’s tricky. And maybe channeling is a better word than grounding. I don’t know. But working with, working with the life force energy.

Thal:

Energy.

Avi:

Yes. I mean sometimes grounding could be a matter of just speaking the truth. I don’t know if you’ve had the experience of feeling sort of incredibly grounded after you’ve spoken the truth.

Thal:

Yes. Yes. It’s actually part of my journey to, um, uh, you know, express and, and heal that the parts that have been silenced or repressed at a younger age.

Avi:

Yeah. For anyone that wants some reading on the inner teen. There is one good book. There aren’t many books on the inner teen, but there’s a book called Brainstorm by, I believe it’s Daniel Siegal. The book is called Brainstorm and it’s all about the inner teen, but also it’s written for teenagers. I think it’s one of the better books on what this whole wild phase is or transitional phase is all about. And it’s a very practical book. So it would be a good one for your son.

Thal:

Oh, absolutely. And we’re going to look into it. Um, I also want to bring up age and also the word that’s coming up for me is shame. That people might feel like, wait, “I’m an inner teen inside?” And feel shame. There’s that. And then there’s age where, yeah, well there is biological age. There is psychological age, emotional age. Perhaps even spiritual age. So yeah, these are things to put into perspective and think about.

Avi:

If the energy of shame is coming up around the inner teen, that’s a really good clue that shame has happened.

Thal:

Oh, absolutely [laughing].

Avi:

So it’s not a coincidence. If you’re listening to this podcast and when you imagine inner teen, you’re going “ugh”, that’s a clue for you as to… Probably something in your own psyche. It’s really more about, you know, so that would be an invitation for somebody who does feel shame because not everybody does get shamed at this time of their life.

Thal:

And to be okay with it and work with it to have self- compassion.

Avi:

Well shame has two faces, right? There’s the healthy aspect of shame, which is a teenager needs to learn. They are limits. They’re are finite… there are limits to what you can do with time and energy and you can’t just, you want to go future, but you can’t conquer the world. There are limits to what you can physically do. And that’s healthy. It’s kinda good to know. Okay, and if I, you know, I’m just go and do what I want. It will have impact. It might have negative impact and I need to know what my impact is. So shame has a good side, but where a lot of us have been mentored in is the toxic side of shame. Where it’s about an identity. Shame becomes an identity and it’s not about teaching limits, but it’s about the whole sense of “you’re wrong”. You’re wrong for feeling what you’re feeling. You’re wrong for doing that or thinking that. If we live in a family unit where the emotions, the life force is not allowed to flow and our parents didn’t know how to ground and channel that energy in themselves then all of a sudden it’s coming up in us, we will be shamed on some level. And shame doesn’t have to look like scolding. It can look like just being ignored.

Thal:

It’s a feeling in the body too.

Avi:

Feeling in the body but just being ignored or being, you know, that could that deeply, that can be deeply shaming. So when shame turns into an identity, that’s the work then to work with shame.

Thal:

And from my own personal experience and experiences of like friends around me that shame actually causes a lot of stuckness in life. And, and you know, that question of what’s wrong with me? Why am I like this? It becomes a loop in the mind. And um, you know, all I think about is more compassion, more forgiveness towards self.

Avi:

You know, the first step with shame is an not necessarily compassion because they’re just wishing there isn’t compassion. The nature of shame is almost itself punitive, right? It’s the first nature. The first sort of thing to do with shame is to externalize it, to speak it, to have someone witness cause shame lives in hiding places. It’s that thing of I’m defective. “Something is wrong with me” and “I have to keep that a secret”. “No one can know that I’m flawed”, so I need to, I need to hide. I need to shut down. And when you start speaking it like I feel unworthy. That is the first step in the direction of healing shame. And um, later it’s really about going into the feelings around it and doing the deep feeling work. Um, but you know, the self-compassion will come later.

Thal:

I was skipping ahead. [laughing]

Avi:

Well, and that’s the thing is, you know, oftentimes people will get shamed in about being ashamed. Why are you so hard on yourself? You’re such a sweet, sweet person. What? Come on.

Thal:

I’ve actually heard that many times. [laughing]

Avi:

“Just be nice to yourself”. And if it was that easy we would all do it and it’s um, it often isn’t helpful to, to, um, to just let someone know that, you know, they should be different. So yeah.

Adrian:

I think that’s so important. Just you talked about… Like we need the courage, we need the courage to begin sharing, you know, and the healing that begins when you start to allow these inner things to come out into the open. I mean just personally this project of doing this podcast has been incredibly challenging because our own shits coming up all the time. We are stepping into a new territory or being exposed feeling more naked than ever. And so yes, like we are seeing it firsthand, you know, our own stuff is mixed in with this creative project and so we’re not just talking about it, you know, as some sort of a theoretical thing. It’s live.

Avi:

I can feel it through the whole…. I can feel a sort of an energy as we’re trudging along that is multilayered and has different aspects and feels strange at moments. And inspiring. There is a real energy here. So you guys are cooking whatever it is that you’re doing. You’re really in something here. And what I love is that you’ve decided to not be perfect in it and not try to get it right. It’s like, let it be messy. That’s great. Forget your perfect offering. Have you heard that? It’s a that Leonard Cohen Song, forget your perfect offering. And the next line is there is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in. So it’s, it’s your humanity that will probably make this unique.

Thal:

And you know, and I just want to also highlight that this is a universal human experience. I was brought up in a different culture that’s a little bit more collectivist and a lot of, you know, my individuality or individuality in general is usually squashed. And um, but then half of my, more than half of my life, I’ve been living here in Canada and I’m noticing that, wait, even here the same problems. It’s literally exactly the same problems that I’ve encountered as a teenager in the Middle East, people encounter here and personally, for me, I just don’t see the difference. Obviously context is different, but the essence of our human experience, our human pain, our wounds, shame, guilt, all those things are similar.

Avi:

I agree. Yeah. And I think Toronto is a unique place to be doing healing work in 2019, but we are. This is the social experiment. Toronto is a social experiment and it’s by no means, um, you know, a perfect microcosm of a global village. But it is, in my experience as a traveler, one of the better models we have in the world. I really …that the consciousness now is that we are, we’re all in this together. No matter where you’ve grown up, it’s, we have to figure out how to be with each other. And I think Toronto is a really good place to be doing healing work at this moment of history. A: we have the luxury of not having physical wars here at this moment and B, there is a consciousness in the city. I think if you’re tuning in, there is an openness to, to, to kind of stepping into the new. So I feel lucky to be here at this moment.

Adrian:

Yeah, we just had a conversation a few days ago with, with Andrew Harvey and he talked about we’re going through a birthing experience collectively and it’s a birthing of a new human that he was sort of referring to and it’s, we don’t know what it’s going to be. That’s part of the surprise, the mystery and we’ve been going through this, you know, on this planet time and time again, you know, there was a period where most species were underwater and we were a bunch of fish swimming around and at some point that the water got so polluted that some fish had to take the risk to go into the unknown. And some of them ended up on the shore, on the sizzling shore, in air without the proper, you know, gear to, to survive. And yet some of them did and that created the new birthing of an evolutionary transition and it’s such a beautiful metaphor because I feel like this is kind of what we’re referring to you right now, you know, with this collective, a yearning for meaning and people try new things and pushing the boundary that we’re about to see an emergence of perhaps many versions of a new human being or new ways of being.

Avi:

No matter what you feel about the times right now, whether you’re more cynical, “we’re all gonna go to hell in a hand basket” type person or, or more of the, “Oh, you know, we can, we can save our planet” type person, wherever you fall in that spectrum. And we’re all on that spectrum somewhere. And it might change every day for you. Um, these, these are fascinating times to be alive. Forget about what might happen. It’s just a pure wow, we get to be alive in this… What are we in? It’s like, what? What is this chaos that we’re in? Yes. It’s interesting.

Thal:

Absolutely.

Adrian:

There’s never a dull moment.

Avi:

It’s not dull. It’s not dull. Sometimes we, I think we’ve, a lot of us sometimes the wish for the volume to get turned down just a little bit, especially in the last few years with on so many levels, but I think coming back to what Andrew Harvey was saying, the volumes not going down if anything, the volume is going up and um, we’re gonna have to find ways… And this connects to the inner teen. We’re going to have to find ways to stay present with each other and with the crisis that we’re in a evolutionary crisis that we’re in. Um, we’re going to have to find clever ways to stay present because you know, it, it’s just too easy to dissociate. Right now [laughing].

Thal:

And mental health is at the forefront because of those reasons. And we’re learning now that mental health is just not just the brain or just the cognitive side of things and that there is more to mental health. Then just, um, then just that. Yeah.

Avi:

I agree 100 percent. Yeah. Yeah. We’re going to have to find a new model of mental health. I think too, that goes beyond…

Thal:

Everybody should go to therapy [laughing].

Avi:

Whatever your therapy is, I just want to say, psychotherapy is a method. And honestly it’s worked for me and that’s what I do with my life. It’s, you guys are all here because it’s working or has worked in some way for you. If somebody comes in and it’s just, you know, for people listening, you try it out. If it’s not your bliss, if it’s not your path, find another method. There’s really, there’s, there’s so many other ways in. What I, what I really do like about therapy, a good integrative therapy is non prescriptive and so it’s the hunger of the times, uh, to, to not be so regimented and not be so “okay I just need to improve”.

Thal:

Yes, one solution-oriented. Right. And that’s important. Because I’ve like, again, I’ve had people come and ask me, “Oh, so then what? We all need therapy?” And that’s why I made that joke. Therapy is just a tool inwards, like you said, there are many different tools and if it means that you seek a therapist world for a little bit in your life, then so be it. And if, I don’t know, if you decide to start dancing, then so be it. [laughing]

Avi:

I think. Yeah, you’re speaking of therapy is not so much like a session but just, you know, therapy in the sense of, the true meaning of therapy, which is the word therapy comes from a Greek word Tartarus. Tartarus is the underworld in the Greek mythological lens and the underworld is where you go to, um, find yourself in a deeper way and it’s where you go under your body under, down. And so we, yeah, we all need therapy in that sense of I’m tuning in, connecting to, to ourself into the larger sphere. Absolutely.

Thal:

Yeah.

Adrian:

Avi, thank you so much for your time and happy suffering. [laughing]

Thal:

Yeah, thank you. Thank you Avi and may we, you know, conquer our fears and shame and whatever it is that we need to do to become attuned with our inner selves. Thank you, Avi.

Avi:

My pleasure. That hour went really fast.

#9: Pockets of Silence with Aryne Sheppard

Slowing down and sitting with silence seems to be the antithesis of our modern life. However, the reality of our lives or what we have deemed as reality is often incongruent with our nature. With this week’s episode, we dive into the importance of cultivating silence.

Our guest, Aryne Sheppard, has been a Vipassana meditator since 1999. Following, a major mental health crisis in her twenties, Aryne shares with us how she discovered the power of inner exploration. Currently, Aryne continues to juggle her modern life as an educator and counselor while attending regular silent retreats every six months. She holds an MA in Philosophy and an MA in Adult Education specializing in Transformative Learning. Aryne has been working in the areas of personal growth and wellness, leadership development, and counseling for over 12 years.

We hope this week’s episode inspires to find your own pockets of silence!

Highlights:

  • 20 Years of Vipassana Silent Meditation Retreat Experience
  • How Silence Supports Creativity
  • Tips for ‘Re-entry’ After a Silent Retreat
  • Why Cultivate Silence in a Noisy World

Resources:

Listen:

Poem Inspired By This Episode

Full Transcript

Thal

Welcome Aryne, welcome to the show.

Aryne

Thank you for having me.

Thal

Yeah. When did you start meditating?

Aryne

I started when I was 25, so about 20 years ago, but I would say silence was a big part of my life even before then. And I think that’s why meditation was drawing me for a long time.

Thal

And, and so, when did you incorporate then silence in your life?

Aryne

Yeah, it’s a good question and I don’t know if I’ve really thought about it exactly, but I remember spending a lot of time on my own as a child and I was always very comfortable in my own company, you know, in, back then of course there wasn’t as much tv or media and so I did spend a lot of time outside as most kids did, a lot of time in my own imagination. And there was always part of me that was, that was kind of always seeking something, although I wouldn’t have known what it was at the time. I was not raised in a religious family, even a spiritually oriented family, but I was drawn to these kinds of big questions about life. And what it was all about and just seeing the suffering and it was always kind of trying to understand why. And I think that was really my, my, that was the magnet. I think that I ended up finding the answers in silence.

Thal

Do you think it’s the silence then that took you towards meditation?

Aryne

I think so. I mean they’re, you know, like so many of us when you’re in your early twenties, it really is a time of finding out who you are and exploring. In my life that was kind of when there really was this crisis of identity. What I would probably call now looking back an early midlife crisis. An existential crisis of sorts where I was just kind of stopped and I think the interesting thing is I ended up coming out of it through silence. I think I had been trying to find the answers and kind of all the normal ways through study, through academics, through reading, talking, thinking, and it really wasn’t getting me anywhere. Eventually I had really nothing left. I have to kind of find a new direction and that was silence.

Adrian

When you mentioned silence, so are we talking about periods of not speaking or as well as in combination with reduction of external noise, you’re not listening to the sounds or what do you mean by silence?

Aryne

Yeah, good question, certainly not talking is a big part of it and certainly in meditation the not talking is a huge part of that practice, but I think the real definition of silence for me is silence inside. It’s so it’s when kind of all the mental machinery slows down and ideally when it stops. So, you know, in nature being on your own, being in a quiet space helps. But I think silence is something that you cultivate on the inside as much as you do on the outside, the changes the external environment you create for yourself. Supports the inner silence. I would say

Thal

You mentioned something about an early midlife crisis. So was that the point where you formally incorporated meditation?A

Aryne

Well, I think I had been on my way there for a while. I remember maybe when it was about 20, I really struggled with depression and eating problems and I was kind of drawn to this monastery and I used to go there for silent weekends and I found it very healing. It wasn’t enough at that point, but I, you know, I would spend time with Jesuits in the Franciscan monks in Ireland and being a non-religious person that seems like a strange thing to do, but those big, beautiful churches were so quiet and I found that was the only place I could find some peace and I think that kind of put me on that road towards formal meditation, which I ended up starting a little bit later, after meeting my spiritual teacher and she really helped me understand what silence on the inside was. Not just an external environment that you visit.

Adrian

Does an early experience come to mind, sort of your first taste or glimpse of a quiet internal landscape during that time when you’re just starting?

Aryne

Yeah, I mean even earlier, certainly. I was fortunate to grow up in a family that really loved nature and camping and those early experiences in nature, you know, the kind of archetypal sitting around the campfire, which is so much part of the human DNA. There was something very beautiful about that and you could feel everything quiet down inside when you’re out under the big sky around a campfire and that kind of sense of perspective where you start tuning into context rather than the content of what’s in your mind. I think I have those early imprints in my experience and I found that’s what I get through the formal meditation, which again, I started about age 25 and it felt very much like coming home. My very first course I sat down and you know, it can be a kind of a scary experience your first time entering in to a long period of silence where you’re not talking to anybody. It felt like, oh, this is where I’ve always meant to be. It was meant to be for sure.

Adrian

Aryne, you mentioned you started working with a spiritual teacher. What was that like as you were just beginning these practices and what was the teaching?

Aryne

Yeah, her name is Viola Fidor and she is a psychotherapist, but really in my mind, she is a spiritual teacher. She is one of these rare kind of psychological geniuses, like Eckhart Tolle were just in her presence, you feel different. There’s something palpably different about her energy and I think what she showed me being somebody who is very confident of my intellect, you know, I had a very strong analytical mind and it was always trying to figure things out and trying to understand, you know, in my head what I probably could never understand with my head. I think that was her biggest lesson and she’d always kind of sit there with this very small smile. As I was telling her, I understand the world, I’ve studied science, I studied philosophy, I kinda get it and she just kind of nod patiently, asked me to be open minded and she kind of gave me this practice of just quiet time. It wasn’t even formal meditation. It really was finding ways that you could slow down inside, kind of tap into that kind of deep inner pool of quiet that’s in all of us. That’s when things started to shift because I met her of course in a time of deep suffering in my own life and I had no where else to go at that point. I kind of tried every strategy my mind could come up with. I had read everything. I had run out of willpower literally. I was literally stopped in my life and silence was kind of the doorway that I never, I guess, at least in my head, I didn’t realize it was always there waiting for me and I think I just needed a little nudge and things shifted very quickly after that. So yeah, I do kind of credit her with probably the biggest transformation in my life at probably age 24.

Adrian

You went to her with symptoms of depression at the time, was that what the suffering?

Aryne

Yeah. Depression and an eating disorder. Yeah. I had been struggling for probably about five or six years on and off, you know, at different levels of seriousness, but at a certain point it really kind of stopped me in my tracks. I was in grad school at the time and it got to the point where I wouldn’t leave the house. It did reach a point where I wasn’t coping, you know, in for many years, nobody really knew I was struggling because I could kind of put on a facade and like many of us do, you get through life and nobody knows what’s going on in the inside, but at a certain point I literally couldn’t move in my life and that’s when I ended up at her doorstep quite literally.

Thal

There was no resistance on your part in terms of like when she told you just to sit in silence and here you are suffering. Was there any part of you resisting or…?

Aryne

I just remember at the time all I could do was cry and I think I was in so much pain, I was willing to kind of try anything and I think subconsciously I did have all these past experiences of silence and being drawn to silence that I think I just kind of put all my faith in her and in her presence and I was just willing to give it a go, you know, I think intellectually I was kind of skeptical perhaps, but I think the pain was such that I was like, well, I have nothing else to try, so I’m going to give this 100%.

Thal

The pain surpassed the intellect.

Aryne

It’s kind of a shame but for so many of us it really takes… Pain is often the biggest motivation to make a change or to really look at something. I had been trying, you know, the best way as I knew how to use my head and to try to figure out what was wrong. You can’t use your head to figure out existential problems. that was a hard lesson. Yeah, that was a hard lesson.

Thal

It sounds like within the silence there is a form of surrendering that happens.

Aryne

Yeah. Yeah. I mean the process is so…It’s very difficult to articulate in some ways, but it’s, it’s not like you’re learning new information. It really is about shedding and it is surrendering and it’s accessing a deeper level of understanding and wisdom that’s yours, but that’s kind of more than just yours. I think that’s kind of what you tap into in silence. In some ways, part of my identity had been wrapped up … I was a grad student philosophy at the time. So, you know, the intellect was very much valued. That’s certainly what modern day philosophy is all about. Part of that was letting go of that identity. So there was a bit of a surrender there to your “intellect is not up to this challenge”. I had to kind of finally accept that and see what else was there.

Adrian

Aryne, I know you kind of live almost two lives, in terms of your regular practice of returning to long intensive retreat and, and you know, in the day-world you have, you have a career and you know…you’re learning. When did that schedule of the regular intensive practice begin and how did you get inspired to do that? Because I can’t imagine a lot of people have been committed to that form of practice for that long.

Aryne

When I met my teacher Viola I was about 24 and silence became very much part of a regular practice for me. So usually once or twice a day I would sit in quiet and slow down inside very deliberately consciously and then one day in grad school a friend of mine mentioned Vipassana meditation, this Meditation Center he’d been to in Massachusetts. The moment he said that I thought, oh my goodness, this is what I need. It was one of those things, ironically, my meditation teacher said, if you have the seed of practicing meditation, as soon as you hear about it, you’re going to be drawn. And I think that’s really what happened to me and I signed up that day for a 10 day course and from that point on, I think I went when I was 25. I’ve been going every year and practicing meditation ever since. So it, yeah, it is become a very big part of my life when, you know, I would say most of my vacation from work, you know, because I am a working person it all goes to meditation, almost all of it goes to meditation.

Thal

You’ve been now practicing Vipassana meditation for almost 20 years. How did you practice shift or evolve from when you first started?

Aryne

Well, the first time I went, and this is probably true for most people, and I think both of you, Adrian and Thal, have done one of these 10 day intensive retreats. 10 days of silence. Like, Ooh, what’s going to happen? It is incredibly intense and sometimes difficult and certainly transformative. For me I never wanted to leave. The minute I sat down on that cushion and that big quiet room and started listening to the chanting, I thought, okay, this is it. I almost had this image of me as a monk or a nun in a past life. It was really interesting, of course, so much comes up…so much of the static that’s in your mind, you kind of regret this TV shows and movies and Youtube videos you’ve been watching because it’s all in there still. All of that kind static is bubbling up all the time. And then memories start coming up, personal pains, personal triumphs, regrets, you know, you’ve kind of have to start looking at all of that. So that was the very first experience kind of was all of that and in some ways it’s still that. 20 years later…it’s still all of that but I think what happens is that you get to the quiet faster and you know, from that time 20 years ago till now, my life has started adapting to become more in line with the silence of meditation. So, you know, even though my life was always quite simple and I lead kind of a somewhat nomadic existence, didn’t own a lot. My life really has shifted so that there’s quiet in my external world more and more. The things that I choose to do with my free time, the people I spend time with, a lot of them are quite aligned on the same spiritual path. The experience of meditation in some ways shifts and changes but I think it becomes this anchor, the center for your life more and more and I think that’s probably the biggest thing that’s changed over the last 20 years.

Adrian

Was that a deliberate move for you to start seeing the bleed over from retreat experience into your outer world? Or did it happen organically?

Aryne

Yeah, I think organically. I mean sometimes you’re making conscious choices and I think with awareness, and this is kind of the, one of the gifts that silence gives you is more awareness. You’re much more sensitive to your surroundings and so you just don’t want the noise and the drama and the static in your life as much. So that kind of shifts quite naturally. It doesn’t feel like you’re forcing and I think at times, you know, you get the meditation cushion and you get all of the external paraphernalia is accessories of silence or meditation but if you’re forcing yourself it tends to backfire. I think you have to let go of things naturally as much as possible. So it did feel quite natural. I would say is even now still…the experience on retreat: 10 days, five days, you know, I’ve spent a month in silence. It still feels a little separate from the rest of my life. In some ways I wish it wasn’t, you know, I wish and I guess the goal is ultimately to have that quiet, that silence on the inside, just be embodied throughout your life. I feel like what I do still, what I still feel like I need to do is go back regularly and it kind of feels like you’re quieting that pool inside or, or filling the tank or you knew there’s a number of different metaphors I guess I could use, but I keep going back and the silence deepens and it lasts sometimes a bit longer…and when I’m feeling like ugh…it’s very clear when I need to go back. The more time you spend in meditation, day to day, the more silence you have in your life, the better. That still kind of the work I think that I’m doing right now, is to see how I can extend the feeling and the peace and the insight and the wisdom that you get through the silence of a retreat environment and bring that more and more into daily life. It’s hard.

Thal

It is…I remember after…my first experience in Vipassana meditation, the 10 days, just going back to my regular life…there was… Like I missed my family, but I did not miss the noise. That must be hard to shift and to do that regularly…

Aryne

I mean the transitions do become easier in some ways, although you are definitely much more sensitive. I mean it’s like you’ve pulled down a lot of the armor, the defenses against daily life. I mean, I live in Toronto, it’s noisy, it’s busy. I work full-time, so the transitions have become easier. But again, I think, you know, my, where I live, my home is very quiet. I don’t have a TV actually, I don’t have a radio, even don’t even have the Internet, so I’ve kind of slowly, quite naturally just given these things up because there is a bit of a sanctuary when I come home and I feel like I need it, you know, and I’m quite happy to have my evenings and weekends very quiet now…I still look forward to the retreats, you know…I try to go at least two, three, maybe even four times a year if I can find even just small ones, you know, four or five days at a time is kind of enough to just kind of remember and I remember that’s actually one thing my teacher Viola told me is that we will sometimes get off the path, we’ll kind of get lost a little bit again. The answers will always be there in the silence and that has proven, has been proven true to me again and again in my life. There is a deep faith that I have in it actually where if I’m struggling or even trying to work at a problem, sometimes even a problem at work. I know the answers will be there waiting for me if I can, if I can find the quiet.

Thal

I think the first thing I think about when you’re talking about that especially…I find it fascinating that, you know, in your house you don’t have the technological distractions. Someone out there listening to you talk about silence and how you lead your life and like they’d probably ask why they don’t want to part ways from Netflix or whatever. What are the benefits of incorporating more silence in our life?

Aryne

I’m getting, there’s so many things I guess that in it’ just become such a normal part of my life. So very practically, we start very practically. So I was just recently on a 10 day meditation, very typical. I came back at the beginning of December and some of my colleagues at work where where’s Aryne and they were talking about it and kind of trying to understand why does she do this? Some of them were making jokes about…I’d have to be kidnapped or I’d have to be sick or you know, they kind of came up with these kind of very dramatic scenarios for having to actually unplug and step out of life, quote unquote, for two weeks. I kind of came back and I started laughing. I said, you know, you can’t do this by choice, but, one thing that they do know is that I come back with lots of ideas. I think the first very practical thing that silence offers anybody is enormous creativity, you know, even for things that work for relationships, for your life, for a direction that you want to go, there’s so much there when the static quiets down in your mind when everything slows down, it’s like, you know, that eastern metaphor of the pool, the pond, and it’s, it’s kind of always, wavy and there’s a lot of thrashing around day to day in most people’s lives. Storms, yeah, there’s, there’s a lot of storms. And so if you stop and slow down and eventually just be still the pond,you actually see to the bottom. That’s really a metaphor for insight. So as soon as you quiet down, all of those ideas have room to kind of flourish…I write novels in my head…I write campaigns for work in my mind. You know, it’s very enriching. So that idea of creativity just needs space, you know, everybody is creative whether you’re an artist or not, and I’m not an artist, but the creativity that we all need to kind of lead meaningful lives comes in the silence. That for me is the first piece. The second is, is really insight, you know, understanding yourself, understanding life, understanding others, you know, I mean, you guys probably had this experience too. You run through conversations and scenarios in personal life and professional life with others relationships and you really start getting some insights about what was really going on at that point and it gives you an opportunity to examine a little bit more objectively. I played a role in that situation. Sometimes you have to go through the pain of that inner cringing because, you know…insight also comes with responsibility and so that’s part of what silence offers and not everybody wants that. But I found it has been so helpful in my interactions with others, with understanding myself. Holding true to my own values, kind of the direction I want to go in my own life. Things become very distilled and clear. Maybe the third thing I’ll mention and there’s probably so many more I could talk about, is at that deep sense of peace and I feel I’m very grounded and calm most of the time in my life. You know, there was a retreat I went on probably about three and a half years ago now, and the day after I got back, my dad died suddenly and it was in a way, an interesting test of what meditation and what that silence offers. I felt extremely calm through that whole…It was a very stormy time for the family. Of course there was a lot of grief, but I felt very anchored. The interesting thing was I felt it was just very natural that he died. Like that kind of wisdom, I think without even realizing. It just starts infusing you through silence. That it was very sad and there was kind of a bitter sweetness to it for me, but I didn’t have the raw grief that a lot of the people around me had and I think it was hard for them maybe to understand, but I think that’s what the silence gave me. So those are the first three things that come to mind.

Adrian

It’s really interesting you mentioned that…I get the sense that quite often people misinterpret meditation as a way to escape discomfort as a way to like some sort of a warm spa for the mind, you know, it’s like a luxurious escape. But in that example, it’s clearly actually improving your tolerance with challenging experience.

Aryne

Absolutely. Yeah. You know what? I had a lot of people in my life, you know, none of my family members meditate or have found the same kind of solace or have made the same commitment to quiet that I have. There was a little bit of curiosity around, are you escaping or you just avoiding life by going away. Especially for these longer retreats. I’ve lived at meditation centers for months at a time, so it has been a big piece of my life. The reality is it’s the opposite. You know you’re kind of forced to face everything in silence. So I mean there is a huge benefit, but, you know, I don’t like to say that there’s a price, but you know, you have to give a lot of yourself and you have to be willing to kind of look at everything. Everything that you’ve said or done that you regret is kind of, is right there in the mirror for you in the silence.

Adrian

It’s not all UNICORNS and rainbows.

Aryne

Meditation is not really about getting somewhere? It is a process. I think that’s probably another maybe misconception, but it is like a mirror. The silence is like a mirror and so you have to be very willing to look. Once you are, you know, there’s so much to be gained, but it’s definitely not an escape.

Adrian

I imagine you must have considered living a full monastic and becoming, you know, a full time meditator. What keeps bringing you back to the outer world?

Thal

Back to the noise…

Adrian

and worldly activities?

Aryne

Yeah and I have many times over the last 20 years wondered whether I should live a monastic life and sometimes I joke I’m a secular nun. I went so far as to actually write letters to well known monks and ask, you know, is this possible for a Western woman to become a nun? It’s very difficult. I mean, there are of course women who have for me, um, you know, of course I have family and friends and I am very drawn to service I guess in a way and being part of the world. I totally respect people who do lead the monastic life and those are the people I read. Those are my teachers, but for me it just doesn’t seem part of the Karma for this life. It really doesn’t. It feels like suffering is out in the world and I’m interested in helping. I think that’s what drew me to silence in the first place and I feel like that’s what I want to help in the world. That’s, you know, like you guys have, that’s part of the work that I want to do while I’m alive.

Thal

So speaking of going back to your work, your work is very involved in the community and so I don’t know if you want to share with us how that silence and the meditative practice informs your work?

Aryne

Sure. Well, I’m an educator and counselor and so certainly with my one on one clients, cultivating a quiet mind is definitely the foundation of my work with people. I honestly, I don’t know how to get around the big problems that we’re dealing with our own personal suffering without quieting down inside because I don’t see how you can really have access your own wisdom and strength without quieting down because for me that work is about realization. It’s not about learning new things. It’s about kind of stripping away and getting down to who you are and the strength and the wisdom is there already. In the work that I do more publicly as an educator. I do find certainly the insights and the programs I create are certainly informed by my practice of silence. I get lots of ideas on retreat or when I’m quietly, you know, at home on the weekends, that’s when I tend to do a lot of that work. But the educational programs, I run tend to have a lot of reflection and journaling and they’re not rushed. I find right now, you know, as adults, you go to conferences or some kind of learning program and it’s just like this fire hose of information that’s being kind of shot at us all the time. It’s so exhausting and our minds cannot learn that way. We cannot take that much information in. So in my leadership programs and the programs that I’m running right now, slowing down, having time to integrate the learning is really for me a core principle an I’m pretty stubborn about it. I don’t want to do programs that are just, you know, information out.

Thal

Information heavy.

Aryne

I want people to reflect on who they are, why it’s important for them, how it’s relevant, how they can apply it. I think they’re much more enriching experiences for everybody.

Thal

In fact, that’s the first thing I sensed when I left my only one 10-day retreat is the distraction and the noise. And so I can’t imagine how it is for you that, you know, having to come back to that noise every, every time. Yeah and the intensity of it.

Adrian

Actually on that note, do you have advice for people who may have experienced retreat and re-entry tips since you’ve done it so many times? How do you feel, you know, what can you offer as a tip?

Aryne

Well, I mean, ideally if you can take the first day off of work when you get home from a retreat, that’s really a wonderful gift to yourself if you can. It’s not always possible. Often I cannot do that because I’ve already just taken eight, 10, 30 days off of work. A day off is wonderful to kind of just re-integrate into your own space, family, if you’re living with others. All of that energy on retreat is being held on the inside and what you really start noticing is that energy is going out of your eyes, out of your ears, out of your mouth, out of your body when you’re out in the kind of average day to day world. Being really gentle with yourself, not planning a lot that first week or two, kind of reducing the busyness of life. I mean that’s kind of a longer term commitment. That’s wonderful. If you can make it to just to kind of slow down in your life. Certainly turning off the radio or the TV or the computer in the mornings, having quiet in the mornings. It’s almost like an anchor for your day and certainly maybe at the end of the day as well. That’s the one thing I’d recommend to clients day to day, but certainly after retreat, anchoring your mornings and evenings with some silence can really help to process. And definitely time outside to breathe, breathe some fresh air. Yeah, so all of those tips.

Thal

So it’s energy, like leaking energy and also absorbing all kinds of energy.

Aryne

Yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know, you don’t realize until you spend a longer period in silence the impact that the world is having on you and that you’re having on the world and that energy exchange is happening all the time, very unconsciously. I think that’s one thing you do become very attuned to and you can keep that awareness if you keep going on retreat, if you keep cultivating that practice of silence in your own life. That sensitivity is kind of that feedback loop that’s always with you and you start making choices differently. It’s almost like pieces or peace and quiet as the rudder of your life. Once you’re kind of committed to that, then the direction of your life just kind of shifts very naturally. You know, you start doing things differently.

Thal

It’s interesting because Adrian mentioned earlier that one of the misinterpretation around meditation is that it’s an escape. But also the flip side, the other misinterpretation is that people see it as something…that they don’t want to face their pain and they don’t, like, it’s, that it’s not an escape, but it’s just too much and that they can’t, they cannot handle it. What kind of advice can you offer on that?

Aryne

Well, I mean, not everybody’s going to want to commit to five days, 10 days or more of silence right away. Certainly that’s understandable. I think kind of anybody could just look around our world and there is just too much noise. There’s too much distraction. I think that’s not a coincidence. I think we are trying to escape from a lot of, you know, these existential issues, the crisis of meaning that you guys have talked about. Certainly there’s a lot of suffering politically in the world right now, environmentally in the world right now. You know, entertainment, work, technology and all kinds of things that we use to kind of numb our experience and so silence is really the opposite of that. Instead of activating your nervous system and putting input into your nervous system, what you’re doing is just letting it settle and it is disconcerting at first and so small moments of silence is probably a good way to start. In the morning, again, don’t put on the TV or the radio. When you’re in the shower, actually just feel the water, feel the soap on your body. Those moments of mindfulness can be a good way to start. I sometimes even would suggest to clients a bath that’s kind of a nice way to start light a candle, have a bath even just 15 minutes. Certainly being out in nature is a wonderful way or moving through yoga, things like that are kind of kind of these gateways. I think at the end of the day. I think we all need is to be able to just sit quietly in your own presence. I think that’s where we all need to get to, but certainly that might not be the first step on the path.

Adrian

The word that’s coming up to me is finding a rhythm because naturally we go through rhythms in our lives where there’s periods of lower activity and rest like we have circadian rhythms. We are, we are drawn towards resting and not moving, but then we go through periods of the day where were hyperactive and it’s finding that rhythm perhaps to where it aligns with, you know, with your, your proper output. I’m reminded of my days in exercise and the importance of perhaps interval training and using the idea, having periods of high intensity, but followed with enough rest in between that you can recover and go back into the intense workload.

Aryne

I think the one thing you know when I read these great spiritual teachers is the silence is always with them, at a certain point it it, it doesn’t become a state that you cultivate on retreat or in a meditation sit. It really is something that stays with these people, these great teachers where they are just silent inside all the time. They can turn on their minds as a tool when they need them, but the mind isn’t going all the time and I thought, oh, what a wonderful place to get to, and I think when you’re on retreat, for example, you do get to those stages where you’re fully awake and alert and aware in your mind is just so quiet and it’s this incredible piece that you can have all the time, but it’s a practice. It is that practice. Right now at work, you know, your mind is fully on work and you do your work and or when your with another person, a loved one then you’re fully present with them. The more and more your mind can be quiet in the background, you just are more present for everything that you do. So that’s, I think that’s the goal of silence is again, not the noise externally, but the noise internally it, it just tends to enrich everything. I find.

Thal

You mentioned something earlier that once we strip away the noise and the static that we all can access this innate wisdom and that’s very empowering, especially for people who are stuck in patterns and in suffering to know that we all have that innate wisdom and that we don’t have to look for it externally and we just have to sift through our own garbage sometimes. I’ve heard you mentioned great teachers, who inspires you?

Aryne

Well, I’ve already mentioned Viola, of course, my meditation teacher, S.N. Goenka. I also like Almaas who is a Kuwaiti teacher, I think he’s got some lovely books about silence. Obviously, Eckert Tolle, The Power of Now. Most people in North America are quite familiar with him. I love David Hawkins is another one. there’s so many, there’s a lot of Buddhist teachers, of course, Thich Naht Kahn. He’s another well known teacher, but ultimately, you know, reading is the inspiration, but ultimately the greatest teacher is actually just sitting or cultivating that silence for yourself and however, in whatever way it works for you. So not everybody’s going to sit for formal meditation. I don’t think you need to actually, I think people need to find a way to quiet down their own minds. Even it could be sitting with your cup of coffee or a cup of tea in the morning and just watching at your window. Like it could really be that simple and informal. Yeah, the reading of kind of the greats is really inspiring. You know, one of my favorite books actually from the time I was a teenager and I still read it like the Bible now is Thoreau’s Walden. He was one of those first explorers of the internal world, I guess that was much more made public in North America. He kind of brought some of that eastern philosophy over here to the West and he kind of lived fairly solitary life for two years, you know, beside Walden pond as the story goes. He did have interactions with people. The time he spent just witnessing nature and witnessing his own mind and being on his own was so enriching. For me reading him is just so inspiring and it actually literally puts me in that silent place inside. That is one wonderful thing that teachers and books can give you is it actually puts you in the right frame of mind so you can access that quite pool of silence inside quite easily.

Adrian

Aryne, do you think there’s something about the communal aspect of retreat practice? Because maybe, maybe those like we’ve never been. What they might not realize is that although you are in solitude, you are practicing with lots of other humans close by sitting right next to you in front of you, behind you. Do you think there’s something to that about the practice with others in the same room, even though it’s an individual experience that you’re going through? That’s part of the impact?

Aryne

Absolutely. It’s incredibly supportive. In a formal meditation retreat or another silent retreats I’ve been to seeing kind of. It’s almost like these brothers and sisters are walking on the same path and it’s like you’re holding each other up. If you’re having a hard day or you know if memories are surfacing or there’s a problem that you’re grappling with or a regret that you’re kind of ruminating on, you know, being around others who are probably going through a similar experience is very supportive and it kind of gives you the courage and the energy to keep going. I know for me, even sometimes my experience on retreat is, you know, you’re given a meditation cell which is this very small, dark room. Very intense. Very quiet. It’s wonderful, but sometimes it’s too much. So going back and sitting with others helps you calm down and helps you make it through the day. You kind of do feel it’s kind of this strange phenomenon. I don’t know if you guys experienced this too. You feel so close to those people when you come out the other side, all these people, you’ve never heard the sound of their voice, but there’s a sense that you kind of know them and I think what you end up getting to is that just the essence of who these other human beings are, you’ve kind of accessing and connected to that part of them. It’s beautiful. It’s this wonderful kind of love that you’re feeling for these other people that have had probably a quite a similar experience.

Adrian

Yeah, definitely, for me, I think on that last day, when we break silence and you actually for the first time hear each other’s voice. First of all, you’re surprised by their voice, oh, I didn’t imagine that voice would come out of that person, but on that sort of graduation day, it is what it felt like was, you’re actually right, there is this bond. Even though there was not much of an exchange throughout the week, it’s just the movements were done together. You marched along to the kitchen hall together, you marched back to your dorms and you kind of repeat the next day, the same time, and just that repetition was part of it and coming out of it you feel really connected to these people and a lot of them I might, I probably just would never see again and but you remember that. Actually most of their faces are still very prominent in my memory.

Thal

What stood out for me was the conversations. There was no small talk right away, depth and just sharing and open heart and even crying and yes, love.

Aryne

Earlier you asked me some of the benefits of silence, I think one of the things that’s for me that one of the most beautiful things, and I kind of know I’m in a good place in my life when this happens, is there’s this…I guess a deep sense of compassion that silence gives you because it kind of strips away, like you said, there’s no small talk. All of the superficialities stripped away, and you kind of see into the heart of other people and, and there’s a sense of, everybody’s trying their best and we’re all kind of on the same journey together. So there is that sense of brotherhood and sisterhood. So after retreat when that stripping away has happened, often I find myself tearing up on the subway or at the shopping center or in a restaurant, you just happened to look and you see somebody and it’s almost like you see directly into their humanness. I’ve been known to weep in coffee shops.

Thal

That’s a good thing,

Aryne

But it’s not out of sadness. It really is out of a sense of deep connection and compassion. It’s kind of funny because nothing has happened, you know, somebody just riding the subway or having their coffee. But I take it as a good sign and I think that is one of the most beautiful gifts is that kind of compassionate and sympathetic joy and sense of connection with others that silence also offers.

Thal

The word that comes up for me is simplicity, is that, there’s beauty in simplicity. Our humanness is not as complex as we think it is.

Aryne

There’s something that I’ve been thinking about lately and when you feel that silence, when things have quieted down inside, it shifts kind of almost in a way time, things slow down. Your life doesn’t feel like an emergency anymore from kind of an experiential perspective. You kind of make decisions in. It is just kind of the experience of your life is calmer so silence does tend to affect time, but also space in some ways it’s a metaphor, but it kind of almost gives us buffer. It gives this distance. So when you’re in your life interacting with others at home or at work or whatever, often, we’re so reactive and I think that is a, maybe a consequence of things moving so fast. I think because science slows things down, it also gives some space between you and the situation where you can actually make a decision and you can make a choice. You actually have inner freedom and maybe that’s one of the other great gifts that silence gives. It gives you the space between what you’re going to do in the situation. If somebody says something that bothers you, you know somebody pulls in front of you in the car and what is your reaction? Often it’s one of anger or irritation or hurt, and I think the space that silence gives is somewhere where you can find the freedom to kind of look at something a bit more objectively and make a choice rather than just react in the same way you’ve always reacted. That is one piece that kind of just keeps growing the more and more you cultivate silence, that’s something that I don’t think I’ve lost. That’s something that just keeps growing and strengthening is that buffer, that distance between me and whatever’s happening in the world. I don’t feel I’m so much a victim of life circumstances anymore and that’s kind of a wonderful thing that you feel, not so much in control of life, but you have more control over yourself in your own reactions.

Thal

It’s amazing that you mentioned the connection between space and time and silent meditation. I just want to share this with our listeners. Just being in your apartment is an experience. It’s very quiet. Lots of books, not a lot of technology noise. It is important what you said considering social media, you know, there is, I don’t know why, I was just thinking what Snapchat when you’re talking about reaction. It’s just the nature of those apps and how people are, how we’re constantly reacting to each other to other people’s lives and how silence can give us a perspective and you know, perhaps some people may listen and think, how is this relevant to my life? In fact, it is.

Adrian

Yeah. It really strikes me is because we are living in the information age and there’s, this seems like there’s this race to accumulate more information, you know, get an advantage where what you’re describing the cultivation of silence is that what you really get is a perceptual advantage. It’s a change in perception not merely just having more ammo to use, but these almost mystical things that you’re describing, changing time, having the control to actually alter your experience of time and what that actually opens up as an opportunity. One of the challenges is that we’re talking about these things, but it’s experiential. That’s the other thing too, is that we’re using words that are always going to be insufficient to describe the direct experience of what it is that you’re sharing with us. Is there anything you can share with us perhaps those who are meditating that have never gone on retreat and maybe they’re doubting that they can ever even fit it into their lives or they have all sorts of reasons that, you know, that is preventing them from having the experience. Is there anything you might want to offer as a way to kind of walk them through if it’s something that you feel is…

Aryne

Certainly anybody who’s interested in silence or meditation? I would absolutely recommend a retreat. I mean, I’ve known so many people over the years who have had zero experience with meditation old or young and they jump into these long intense retreats and they make it and they get so much out of it. It’s a transformative experience even if they never come back. So if you are interested in silence or meditation, there’s so many places where you could do a weekend or Vipassana certainly offers 10 day retreats that are free of charge. They’re wonderful experiences. I would just say, you know, you can do, it is kind of scary and it can feel a little intense, but generally, there’s people there to support you. You’re well cared for…I think it’s just one of those kinds of leaps of faith at some point you have to do. For me there’s been nothing else that’s been as enriching as longer periods of time in silence. So whether that’s a long camping trip solo, a weekend retreat in your home or something more formal where there’s some teaching or meditation or silence. There’s probably nothing that really replaces it.

(silence)

#8: Cognitive Tools to Wisdom With John Vervaeke

The meaning crisis that is currently unfolding in our culture is producing a form of existential angst that is gnarly, messy, and very real. There is a palpable collective low-grade anxiety that can be felt on all levels. We may turn to various distractions or succumb to a silent form of apathy.

On this episode, we interview John Vervaeke. Speaking to the meaning crisis, John’s work is centred around bridging the gap between science and spirituality. He talks to us about psycho-technologies such as meditation and psychedelics as tools to help us overcome self-deception and move towards wisdom. We also navigate the world of altered-states and transformative experiences. John has been with the University of Toronto since 1994 as an Assistant Professor teaching courses in the Psychology department, Cognitive science program, and the intersections between Buddhism and Mental Health. He has won numerous teaching awards. John is the first author of the book “Zombie in Western Culture: A 21st Century Crisis”. You can find his most recent series on YouTube titled “Awakening from the Meaning Crisis.”

Highlights:

  • Knowledge vs Wisdom
  • Overcoming Self-Deception
  • Meditation and Psychedelics as Psycho-technologies
  • Convergence of Cognitive Science and Spirituality

Resources:

Listen:

Poem Inspired by This Episode

Full Transcript

Adrian

John, welcome. Thank you for coming on the show.

John Vervaeke

Great. Glad to be here.T

Adrian

I was sitting and thinking about all the different things we could really explore with you. At a basic level, I see all the stuff that you’re doing, all the research and lectures that I’ve watched seem to be trying to bridge or unify science and spirituality.

John Vervaeke

I think that’s very fair representation of what I’m trying to do. I see the situation that we’re in culturally in the West right now is one that I’ve called the meaning crisis. Many people are converging on this topic, and you see increasing number of books even talking about this. The Malaise of Modernity by Taylor or the Crisis of Modernity. These kinds of books are proliferating. I don’t just mean quantitatively, the quality of somebody like Charles Taylor is bringing to bear his enormous philosophical acumen on this, it tells you that something central is going on. He followed that up in The Secular Age. So I think all of us are concerned with what do we do with our spiritual heritage. So I mean, we come from this period. I’ll often do this with my students in class. They’ll say, how many of you read anything from the bronze age? How many of you read the Epic of Gilgamesh, the Egyptian myth. Nobody reads that. I’ll say, well, how many of you read Plato? A lot of people put up their hands or the Bible. A lot of people, you know, Confucius, lot of people. why are those people sort of ours and the people before the Bronze Age clubs aren’t? There’s some controversy about this, but I think I agree with many people like Bella and Karen Armstrong that around 600 to 300 BCE. We went through this radical transformation, right? That laid the foundations many of the foundations for what we call Western civilization. That axial revolution gave us kind of a grammar, the fundamental grammar for our spirituality and what had happened is before the bronze age collapsed and then the axial revolution that follows it during the bronze age you had a much different view of the cosmos so that there was a lot more continuity. It was like a continuum between the natural world, the human world and the world of the gods. Right? It was much more sort of a continuum of differences in power. So it wasn’t strange for a very powerful human being to be godlike or even a god perhaps like in ancient Egypt. Then what happens when the bronze age civilization collapses is that continuous Cosmos tends to be to be challenged. Sorry this is a bit of a speech, but I need to lay some groundwork here. What happens is there’s a dark age and then there’s an invention of a bunch of psycho-technologies. We can talk a little bit later about what a psycho-technology is. One of the most important is alphabetic literacy. Another one is coinage and what they both do is they are invented for very practical reasons, but the thing about alphabetic literacy is it makes literacy available. The thing about literacy, you think about how much it empowers your cognition. If I were to take literacy from you, most of the problems you try to solve most of your information processing, collapse and look around you. Everybody is using literacy. The other thing they’re using is numeracy. And that’s what coinage does. Advanced numeracy, advanced abstract, symbolic thought. People get these psycho-technologies and they, they internalize them because they’re using them everyday and automatically. See the thing about technology is it, it spreads beyond where you originally use it. What happens is people’s cognition is suddenly amazingly bootstrapped and they’re seeing the world, right? They’re getting what Bella called second order cognition. They’re getting much more critically and self aware. And this is what seems to be prototypical of the age. It’s the rise of what’s called theoretical man. Sorry for the sexist term, but that was the traditional way of talking about it.

Thal

It can also be noise.

John Vervaeke

Uh what? The psycho-technology?

Thal

Well yes, being bombarded with text and numbers and all that, and a lot of people become disenchanted with being bombarded.

John Vervaeke

Well, that’s part of what I want to talk about. Part of what I want to talk about is the fact that when we got the axial revolution, when we had that bootstrapping and people became much more self critical. What happened was they create this sort of legacy and when we’re in danger of losing the legacy precisely because of what it has given us. What happened to us before there was this continuous cosmos, but as people became very critically self aware, they, they gained a tremendous sense of responsibility that they were responsible for the violence in this suffering in the world. It wasn’t just a natural part of the world because they have become very aware of how self deceptive the mind was. this is where you get this emerging awareness of how much the mind can create illusion and self deception. So what happens, right, is before the axial revolution, wisdom is about fitting into this continuous cosmos. It’s kind of like you know, the, the, the vulcan way of life, living long and prospering, right kind of thing. After the axial revolution, people are like, they’re really aware of their capacity for self deception, but there are also simultaneously because these two go together, aware of their capacity for self transcendence, right? What they do is they change the notion of wisdom. It’s not about fitting in because you don’t want to fit into this everyday world because this is the everyday world of illusion and self deception and suffering. Instead what you want to do, wisdom is about transcending, rising above, freeing yourself from those self deceptive processes and what happens is right and the degrees to which this is taken literally and it’s understood philosophically or mythically like Plato, but nevertheless you get this. You get this grammar of two worlds, the everyday lower world of illusion and suffering into which we have fallen and then there’s an upper world or the real. The really real world and wisdom is about getting there. What develops is people start developing entire sets of psycho-technologies for trying to enhance. You can see it in Buddhist mindfulness. You can see it in a platonic theoria. There’s all these psycho-technologies that are developing and think about how a lot of this way of thinking right has just become natural to you. It’s becoming your grammar. Now the problem is we have this tremendous heritage that gives us all these psycho-technologies for dealing with how we can deceive ourselves and get enmeshed in foolishness, but they’re bound up with this two world mythology, this two world grammar and the problem is for a lot of historical reasons that dovetail with the emergence of the scientific world view. We don’t have that two world mythology anymore. Very few people, and I don’t mean to step on anybody’s religious toes, but very few people believed that there is a supernatural world or an other world above and beyond the scientific worldview. What happens is all of these psycho-technologies that are still effective because of the way they work with cognition are now orphaned. They have no world view that legitimates them. That legitimates them to into a systematic set that really helps you cultivate intellectually and existentially respectful manner like this wisdom and self transcendence we’ve been talking about. So people thrash around and they try to cobble together little bits and pieces of discarded world views and they play with alternative realities and they alter their state of consciousness to try and get an alternative metaphysics. And they’re struggling to try and get back something that we’ve lost because there’s a deep sense, right? That the psycho-technologies were almost essential or at least indispensible to dealing with these deep issues of foolishness and flourishing. As our lives become more foolish and as flourishing becomes more and more difficult, our sense of connectedness to ourself, to the world and to each other is being radically undermined. That’s what I mean by the meaning crisis.

Adrian

It looks to me that part of your work is to actually come up with a new grammar that helps to unify this fragmentation that’s happening where everybody’s trying to claim, you know, that their version or their techniques are better, you know. Maybe that’s a nice place to actually lay down some understanding of how you view the mind. What are you talking about when you mention cognition?T

John Vervaeke

That’s a great question. The central idea is to try and understand cognition in terms of our capacity for problem solving. This is the initial and profound insight that goes back to Binet. When we started studying intelligence and that’s why we test it. We test it by giving people problems to solve and what has been found or repeated over and over again is that there seems to be a general factor. So if you’re solving a set of problems here, like it tends to be predictive of how you will solve. So spearman founders, right? Like he noticed that, you know, how kids were doing in math was weirdly predictive of how they were doing in English and how they were doing in art contrary to a lot of the cultural stereotypes we have. There’s variation in talent. I don’t want to, and personality and I’m not dismissing that.

Thal

Separation is an illusion. Part of separating between the different ways we perceive, separating between Math and English and how we perform is illusory.

John Vervaeke

Well. I mean there are some aspects that don’t transfer it.

Thal

Right

John Vervaeke

But there does seem to be a general factor. Yes. Underlying all of them are. People don’t like this because they tend to think of intelligence as sort of some sort of death sentence. In fact, we’ve got quite a bit of research coming out of Carol Dweck lab and others. How you think of your intelligence has a dramatic effect on how you’re living your life. The main idea is that you are a general problem solver. This mic that I’m talking into is a special purpose problem solver, it solves basically one problem, doesn’t really well in fact it does it way better than I could do it. Right? And this class is a special purpose problem solving. The thing about you is you solve a wide variety of problems in a wide variety of domains across many contexts, throughout a very long lifespan. What’s impressive is that capacity, we can measure that capacity. People don’t want to hear this, it’s the single best measure we have in the life sciences for human beings. If I can only get one thing from you, one variable in order to try and predict as much of you as I could, I want to know your general intelligence because that will give me the best set of predictions for you better than anything else. Personality variables come second. Self regulation abilities perhaps. Right? I wanted to understand like what’s the center of this? And initially I was just interested in this scientifically because I thought of this as the core of our cognitive agency and I came to the conclusion with the help of a lot of great people like Tim Lillicrap, like Richards, Leo Ferraro, Anderson Todd, Richard Woo. Just a whole bunch of people that I’ve just been so lucky to work with and continue to work with. The core, and this is convergent with other people’s works. So it’s not just my conclusion, but the core of this ability to be a general problem solver is your ability to zero in on relevant information and ignore the irrelevant information. That sounds sort of trivial because your brain devotes so much energy and effort to it that at the, at the level of your personal ego, you’re just taking for granted, you know, what’s standing out for you, what salient, what’s grabbing your attention because technically, scientifically, the amount of information available to you in this room is astronomically vast. All the possible ways in which you could put together your behavior patterns to interact with it, also explosive, and then all the information you have in your long term memory and all of the possible combinations, overwhelmingly vast. So this is what you don’t do. You don’t search it all because you can’t. You can’t search it all and yet, and this is what you don’t do either, you don’t look at everything and determine if it’s important to you or not because that would take the lifetime of the universe. So somehow, and this is sounds like it sounds like a magic thing or miraculous, you brain ignores most of the information and those three domains and somehow zeroes in on the relevant information in a way that fits you to your environment so that…and this is not a static thing, so you have to stop thinking of the mind and this is part of third generation cog-sci as something in your head, think about the mind more like Darwinian fittedness, like what makes an organism fit is not something in the organism or in the environment, but how the organism and the environment fit together. That’s what relevance realization is. It’s your evolving cognitive fittedness to your environment. I’ve done a lot of work on that and trying to understand that. And like I said, there’s just increasing convergence like sort of this is not meant to be self promotional meant to be the opposite. Many people are coming to similar ideas about this being a central thing and that it’s, it’s a dynamic self organizing self optimizing process. The insight I had. I suppose. Is that I came to the conclusion and I have a lot of argument for it, that that cognitive connectedness that makes us an intelligent agent is also the same sort of connectedness to ourself and the world and other people that’s at the core of spirituality so that your relevance realization machinery is inherently interested and invested because it’s a self organizing, self optimizing process, thinking about when you have insight, that’s the relevance realization process, feeding back on itself and restructuring itself. It’s inherently interested in and invested in this because it’s just foundational and it precedes you egoically. Relevance realization is there from the beginning, fitting your brain to the world and then your sense of self and how meaningful your world is co-emerge out of this ongoing evolving fittedness and that’s why it has this sort of primordial, mysterious depth to it. There’s so what I’m trying to get at, although there’s some hard brain science, I think emerging and dynamical system, self optimization, to point your listeners to so many things, right. There’s all these deeply spiritual aspects of this relevance realization that seemed to line up with a lot of the traditional stuff and then here’s the final gem and then let you guys talk. What if, what we’re doing when we’re overcoming foolishness and self deception and becoming wise is enhancing that capacity for relevance realization so that the wise person is the super insightful, super connected, super able to make meaningful connections person. Well that sounds both scientific and spiritual at the same time.

Adrian

What I want to ask you about is at the practical level, the practice of spirituality. You’ve mentioned psycho-technologies. How does that activate or get this process of relevance realization going or evolving?

John Vervaeke

I mean, we’re doing it already, but here’s where I think, the work of Keith Stanovich and others has had like a profound impact on me. Keith, I think he’s emeritus now, but he was also at U of T, at OISE, for the center of applied cognitive science. Really brilliant worker researcher and he’s just a amassed all this work. So remember I told you had an, and this will directly answer your question, it is directly pertinent. Remember how he remember how I said we have this general measure of intelligence, right? So what he showed is like you can also give people all these, all these experimental tests for how rational they are. So let’s say rationality is about using your intelligence best. Remember I mentioned earlier that how you relate to your intelligence has a big impact on how adaptive it is, right? What he was showing you, is that right? I think he’d be okay with me. This is my language, but I think I don’t think it’s imposing on him. That’s why I’m being a little bit cautious here. But I would say this, those very processes that make us so adoptive are our general intelligence are also the ones that really drive and enhance our self deception and make us vulnerable to self deception. I recently gave a talk about this on how as we’re making ai more like us, we’re making it more and more capable of foolishness. You can give people all kinds of rationality tasks and what’s going on in these rationality tasks, for example, I’ll give you a proposition you tend to agree with very deeply like, and I’m not taking a stance on this issue just using an example. Abortion is right. Okay. So you find people who either agree or disagree with them and then what you do is you give them two arguments. One is a valid argument that leads to the opposite of what they believe, you know, so let’s they believe abortion is right and here’s a valid argument that leads to the conclusion that it’s wrong. Then you give them a very bad argument that leads to the conclusion they like and you ask them to evaluate the argument, right? People vary on that because you can imagine what happens is a lot of people find super salient the product or the result of their cognition and they’re not stepping back and caring about or paying attention to the process. If you don’t pay attention to the process, you just go to the conclusion and right, and then so your ability to evaluate arguments is very, very poor. Now that’s very, very dangerous, right? Because it means we can’t use rational persuasion to alter people’s beliefs. That’s an example of many kinds of tests. So you can do all these many varied kinds of tests on how rational people are and what you he found was just like the measures for intelligence. They form a general factor of reasoning. They form a positive manifold. So then he asks, and this is what makes him so brilliant, right? He then asks this really straight, this really profound question. I mean he is a great scientist that makes complex things simple, right? He asks this profound question, so simply. Are the measures of intelligence identical with the measures of rationality? The answer is no. Overwhelmingly, no. On average, the correlation between the measures of your intelligence and the measures of your rationality are point three where, where it varies from none, which is zero to one, which is maximum. Intelligence is necessary but nowhere near sufficient for being rational. So what’s the difference? This is now the core of your question, what the psycho-technologies are doing is that there are ways of internalizing, practices and skills and ways of training your attention that get you to best applying intelligence to paying attention to how you’re using your intelligence. That sounds so trivial, right? But people, it takes a lot of practice and effort. So one thing he talks about is he, which is directly relevant to the ancient practice of stoicism and modern psychotherapeutic work in cognitive behavioral therapy. He talks about Jonathan Barron’s active openmindedness. This is a psycho-technology that makes you more rational. It helps you overcome the ways in which your intelligence makes you deceptive. So let me give you an example. I just flew back from Cuba. I told you that. Okay? So here’s what people. Your loved ones take you to the airport, right? You’re about to get on the plane and they’re oh safe trip and text me when you’re there. Basically what you’re doing is saying, don’t die, don’t die, don’t die because you’re terrified that they’re going to die on this airplane. Now, why are you terrified? Well, think about it. Your brain is trying to calculate the probability of things. Remember when I talked about that explosion? If you were to use pure probability theory, trying to calculate the probability of events is vast (inaudible). You can’t do it. So your brain does these two short cutting technique. It uses like a couple of what are called heuristics. It uses this availability heuristic. If I can easily imagine or remember something, I think of it as highly probable. Well, I can remember airplane crashes because they’re on the news and I could easily imagine it because my homo erectus brain goes” a big metal in the sky…no it will fall.” The other is how representative, how much does it sort of stand out? Then again, when there’s a plane crash, people make it super salient. They call it a tragedy a disaster and so you go in and the availability heuristic, which is very adaptive for you and the representative heuristic, very adaptive, this sort of frontline relevance realization, and they tell you this person’s going to die in a plane crash. This is self deception because you worry about them. Then without a second thought, you get, you go into the garage and you get in your car..

Adrian

Chance of dying goes up.

John Vervaeke

…which is the North American death machine, right? So active open mindedness is about learning to see how these heuristic processes that are central to our adoptive intelligence can be present in our day to day behavior. What you do is you look for…you actively try to look for these heuristics misfiring. How often do you look for evidence that disconfirms one of your beliefs as opposed to just finding evidence that confirms it.

Thal

I just have to say I’ve been enjoying what you’re saying and it’s in line with the questions that I have been sitting with prior to my own awakening in a way. My background is more literature. I also come from the Sufi background.

John Vervaeke

Excellent.

Thal

The way you’re talking for me is just giving language to questions that I’ve had in my mind for a long time. Your wording and everything you’re expressing is just answering very deep questions that are probably even pre language for me, so I don’t even have any question right now, but maybe more like..

John Vervaeke

You don’t know how often I get that comment. It always takes me a little bit aback and I get it informally and student evaluations in my courses, but I get it like in spontaneous situations, like, just happened now. People often talk about me giving them a vocabulary even for before, and this is like an or a grammar like we were talking about earlier before they could articulate it itself, but nevertheless, it resonates very deeply with us.

Thal

It excites me because I just started my journey as a doctoral student in Transpersonal Psychology. Right. That’s where I’m like, okay, I want go into that space where science and spirituality meets. I’ve been in the spiritual space for a long time, but because using your words, a lot of the way my cognitive space was working, I didn’t have the language to explain what was going on. I’m hoping that with the recent work that you’re doing. I’ve had experiences in the psychedelic space where now I have the language. I get it.

John Vervaeke

I think that’s excellent. I think that’s a great point because I want to be clear the active open mindedness that I mentioned is just one psycho-technology. We step back and become aware of another important one, our mindfulness practices. So whereas active openmindedness is about paying attention to how your adaptive process can mislead you when you’re making inferences. Mindfulness is about how can those how could this salience machinery cause you to basically deceive yourself at an attentional level? So what you want to do is you want to find as many of these, what I would say scientifically validated psycho-technologies and try to see how we can align them together and, and so there’s a lot of work right now and my lab is involved with it and I’m just involved with a lot of really great people about it. Daniel Craig is doing this great work. I want to continue to make it clear that I’m privileged belong to and to some degree lead a community. So we’re really interested in this question of what’s going on in both psychedelic experiences and spontaneous experiences that are similar. What I’m particularly interested in and what it aligns with the most is the aspect of the psychedelic experience with the mystical experience where the awakening experiences that align most with what we’re talking about is when people get a particular kind of experience. The Griffith lab did the same thing on this. There’s a difference between a psychedelic experience and a mystical experience and I think there’s a difference between a mystical experience and what L. A. Paul calls…if there is a book I can recommend to you L. A. Paul’s book on transformative experience is literally the book. I got to meet Lori and lecture in her class, I was very privileged to lecture in her class on transformative experience. So what I’m interested in, and Steve Taylor does this, talks a lot about this in his book and sort of Andrew Newberg. Normally when people have an altered state of consciousness, they do the following thing. They go into that altered state of consciousness. Let’s consider a typical one. You dream, you come out of your dream and you say, oh, that was weird, that wasn’t real. This is real. And why do you say that? You say that because, well, it doesn’t fit together very well. It doesn’t make sense and it’s not coherent with the rest of your life. Right? So this sort of coherent intelligibility that people sometimes have, there’s a subset of altered states of consciousness, higher states of consciousness, which can sometimes occur in psychedelic experiences. I don’t want to talk about when and where but they’ll have an experience and they’ll say that is more real than this. It’s that hyper-realness what I called onto-normativity, because it’s not why I call it that is, it’s not just, it’s more real. They feel like an obligation that they have to transform their lives and their identity so they can stay in contact. Remember that sense of connectedness. So they can stay in contact with that deeper realness. It struck me. I mean this is a really good scientific problem. Why? Here’s this bizarre experience. It doesn’t fit into the rest of their life. They often come back and they say it’s ineffable. I can’t tell why it has no content to it and yet they say it’s more real. It should be discarded. I was trying to get at what’s going on in these experiences that, right. Why are people experiencing them as more real? And secondly, is that a legitimate experience? Like because they’re changing their lives, right? And so you want to know, do those kinds of experiences, can they be ultimately enmeshed.

Thal

Practical.

John Vervaeke

That’s it. Can they be integrated with these other psycho-technologies? Could we, I mean, this sounds ridiculous, but could we come up with a set of psycho-technologies for these higher states of consciousness that would be nicely systematically working with active openmindedness and mindfulness. Could we create this systematic sap and so that’s, yeah, I’m really interested in it. The thing I would really tell your listeners and I’m not telling you what to do or anything, but I just, I just feel a responsibility. The transformation isn’t in the drug, right?

Thal

This is important to mention.

John Vervaeke

The drug isn’t, this…So like higher states of consciousness are tools, they’re not toys, right? If you’re using them in a situation where you have not put them within a set of psycho-technological practices in which you’re cultivating wisdom, you’re really looking for ways in which you are prone to self-deception. If you stick that into those, there’s a great chance you’re just gonna bullshit yourself.

Thal

Perpetuate that self-deception at a deeper level.

Adrian

I’m reminded of what Jack Kornfield who wrote first the ecstasy then the laundry because there is a real trapping in the pursuit of peak experience. So you have a glimpse and then you want to go back to it because it’s not sustained. You’re bringing this important point of the mundane everyday practice to bridge that.

John Vervaeke

What you see in ancient traditions like in the neoplatonic tradition, which greatly informs Sufism by the way. You see this tremendous philosophical endeavor to, in a deeply integrative fashion, create a worldview that tries to articulate this enhanced sense of meaning and intelligibility, the cultivation of all of these practices, right? And then, and then they’re integrated with these existential moral practices. So the idea of being rational and mystical are not oppositional. They’re supposed to be deeply intertwined, mutually constraining and mutually informing each other.

Thal

This was the split too in Sufism between the orthodoxy and the ecstatic poets. Where, in my opinion, the ecstatic poets were to mesh the rationality and the mystical, but because they were talking about the ineffable then the orthodoxy were unable to accept them and were considered as heretics.

John Vervaeke

I think this is a very important point. I think that pattern gets repeated. It gets repeated. I think also within Christianity, I mean, Meister Eckhart is almost, you know, he’s pretty much, he dies before he gets condemned as a heretic.

Thal

Even within science, there are those who would consider what we’re talking about as heretical in scientistic or scientism.

John Vervaeke

There’s all kinds of orthodoxies, right? And this goes towards your point, and this is another point I would want to make this is a broader issue about the ways in which I want to speak very carefully here because I’m not, I’m a scientist and I love science, but there’s ways in which the culture at large has been misled by science. What I mean by that? What science does, right? Is Science, and this is what the scientific revolution when it, it actually, it actually comes out of and then sort of solidifies and exemplifies a trend that had been growing in western civilization since the, around the beginning of the 13th century. What am I trying to get at? What science does is enhance your capacity for propositional knowledge, right? So propositional knowledge is your knowledge of what we call facts and people. You know, what a lot of the people that are, um, you know, rationality, this, on Youtube, and they talk about facts. Ask them what a fact is, is it made out of matter…What is a fact, what do you mean by that? What’s the metaphysics of a fact? Well, they’ll say, well, things are true. Okay, well what do you mean by true? What they’re basically talking about is propositional knowledge is knowledge of that something is the case. So what they’re talking about is that they have propositions that they consider are well-evidenced and well-argued, right? And that’s propositional knowledge and so that is a form of knowing that is centered on belief, that is why belief has become so central in our culture. We understand everything in terms of belief, why ideology is so powerful, because what ideology is…it is the attempt to replace spirituality with sets of beliefs that are supposed to be doing, but the problem is for all the terrific importance of propositional knowledge. It’s not the only kind of knowing we have.

Thal

It can be dogmatic.

John Vervaeke

Well not only it is dogmatic, which is true. I don’t deny that, but I think what’s happening in the case of the teachers you’re talking about, right, is that they try to represent another kind of knowing that has to a very large degree, been sort of quashed in our culture. Let me give you some examples. In addition to knowing that something is the case you have, you have what’s called procedural knowledge. You know how to do things. For example, you know how to ride a bike, which isn’t the same thing as having a bunch of beliefs like you know how to ride a bike. In fact, you’ll find a great deal of difficulty and actually putting into effective words what it takes to ride a bike. This is one of the gifts of the work in ai because we thought, you know it’s all about propositional knowledge. Getting computers to do propositional knowledge it’s hard, but we’ve gotten really good at that. Getting computers to skills like knowing how to catch a baseball. That turned out to be way harder than we thought because that procedural knowledge is much more embodied. It’s much more about that direct online fitting of the brain to the world, but in addition to that, because you’re a conscious being and consciousness is not the same thing as belief at all, right? Because most of your beliefs are unconscious. You, for example, believe that Africa is a continent. You don’t have to hold it in your mind or consciousness, right? Because you’re a conscious being. You have perspectival knowing. You know what it’s like to have this experience right now. What it’s like, what does water here? I’m having a drink right now. You know what it’s like to drink water and notice how ineffable that is. How would you explain that to somebody.

Adrian

The direct experience. That’s been directly experienced.

Thal

The embodied experience.

John Vervaeke

It’s a perspectival knowing. It’s how is your salience landscape being shaped and altered and what’s standing out to you and then what state of consciousness are you entering into and this is all not captured by your beliefs. Then finally, and overlapping with the procedural and the perspectival is participatory knowing this is the knowing you have not by altering your beliefs or even alter your state of consciousness. You have it by altering your identity. It’s the knowing you get by binding your identity to something and letting your identity being transformed in conjunction with how that thing is transforming. Hopefully this is why this metaphor was used in the mystical traditions. This is hopefully how you know the person you love, right? You don’t just have beliefs about them, that’s kind of creepy. You don’t just have skills about how to work with them. You should have skills, you know what it’s like to be with them, but there’s something deeper. You have become a person you could not have been or become other than in your relationship to them and also they have become in their relationship to you. So you know them by how differently you know yourself and the world in knowing them. Does that make sense?

Adrian

It reminds me of sort of that Buddhist notion of the dissolving in self and other.

John Vervaeke

Yes, it’s so. It’s very much that it’s knowing by identifying, its knowing by being at one, it’s knowing by sort of being dynamically coupled to something so that you’re getting reciprocal revelation and this goes to like what’s at the core of what is called third generation cog-sci and sort of it’s Heideggerian framework. Is this notion of a deeper kind of truth. Sorry, that’s going to make the wrong people in California happy. What I mean by that is like there’s propositional truth which is can be deep and profound like e=mc squared, but there’s also Aletheia, which is a Greek word that Heidegger uses. There’s a sense of, right before I can make sure my beliefs correspond to the world, I have to be connected to the world in the right way. There’s this irrelevance realization stuff again, so that right as the world discloses itself, it draws something for me and right and then that draws something from the world. They’re mutually growing from each other. And this is all part of what’s right and, and this can also be put into very scientific language about complex, complex systems and dynamical systems. But the basic philosophical idea is there’s this reciprocal, a revelation, reciprocal revealing of self and world. Now what’s interesting is my good friend Mark Lewis recommend his work highly, by the way. He’s one of the people that brought this whole dynamical systems approach into neuroscience. Also at UofT, he’s one of the. He wrote memoirs of an addictive brain. He’s one of the foremost people on addiction and what’s interesting, he’s got a theory of addiction that’s the opposite, which is what he calls reciprocal narrowing. So instead of addiction being thought of as just biological, by the way, that’s just not true. We have this model that addiction is this biological craving that your system has and that’s just insufficient amount. I like. I was at a conference in July, the Society for Philosophy and Psychology and they’re just one, one…That’s the wrong model of addiction, right? Because it doesn’t explain a lot of things. It doesn’t explain the fact that a lot of people would just spontaneously.

Thal

It is disempowering.

John Vervaeke

It doesn’t explain again that like a lot of people will just spontaneously stop being addicted when they enter their thirties. People will like, you know, all the people that were using heroin when, during Vietnam and then they returned to North America and they just stopped. They don’t have to go to treatment, they don’t have to go through Rehab. So he has instead this sort of what you may call anti-Alatheia model of addiction. What happens is right, because the addict’s salient landscape is being altered by the drug. The options in the world narrow a bit and because the options in the world narrow a bit, their right, their sense of self gets a little more rigid and you see what’s happening. It’s like this vicious cycle and as the self becomes more rigid, the world narrows and as the world narrows, the self becomes more rigid and you get this reciprocal narrowing.

Thal

Their cognition becomes impeded.

John Vervaeke

Yeah. It becomes you lose cognitive flexibility and and that’s exactly what’s happening in the things like PTSD and things like that. Right, and that’s why the psychedelic experience can be so liberating because what it can do is it can throw the brain into a state that it’s not normally in and break that vicious cycle, but it’s gotta be. It’s gotta be coordinated with therapy. It’s got to be coordinated with cognitive restructuring. Flexibility is great, but it has to be. It has to be. That engine has to be tapped in insight and a change in the sense of identity. Look we’re continuously in a process of co-identification. Look, I’m here right now. I’m assuming that identity, either professor or a scientist and I am assigning identities to you. Here’s a glass, I’m assuming identity as a glass grabber. This object is a water holder for me, even though it’s a million other things, scientifically molecules and all kinds of electromagnetic field. We’re always, always, always in this agent arena relationship. We’re constantly in this, you know, bi-directional fashion, creating identities in the world.

Thal

Assigning meaning.

John Vervaeke

It’s not in your beliefs, it’s in the way in which your world is either reciprocally opening up because your sense of agency is being opened up and the world is being opened up or it’s narrowing down in a self deceptive self destructive fashion.

Thal

I was enjoying like when we first started our talk like you, you gave some amazing historical context, but I was also thinking about what about those people that their cognition is so impeded and their sense of self is so rigid and so small and you know, they’re unable to break free from whatever cycle that they’re stuck in.

John Vervaeke

That’s a really, really important question and I’m hesitating precisely because I have so much to say about it.

Thal

That was the one question that was sitting me when you were talking in the beginning… I was like…how can I bring that in?

Adrian

It’s that inertia, right when you’re stuck like existentially with midlife crisis, quarter life crisis, whatever you want to call it.

John Vervaeke

I call it existential inertia, by the way. Let’s talk about. Let’s talk about this. Let’s devote some time to it if you’re okay with that, because I think this is. This is where these broad issues about wisdom and transcendence and the meaning crisis. This is where it comes to people when people get this fundamental stuck-ness, this barrenness, emptiness, voidness, futility, right? And by the way, Thomas Nagel is right. All the arguments people give for meaninglessness, none of them are logically valid. All right, well oh I’m so insignificant to time and space. So what…If I blew you up to the size of the galaxy are you better? Like, does that do anything for you? It’s not helpful. It’s not…what I’m doing does it matter a million years from now? Well, the argument is symmetrical. What they’re thinking of you a million years from now does it matter to you? He, he points out that all of these arguments are not actually logically valid. They don’t, they don’t lead to. So it’s not that people’s reasoning is actually leading them into this, but I think that’s basically a form of rationalization. I think you guys would put your finger on the actual issues. What are like, what’s going on in this existential inertia? I would say there’s another thing, there’s an existensial indecisiveness. So let’s talk quickly about both. We were talking about that agent arena. I was talking about this in one of my talks, but right, there’s a thing where like there’s a difference again because of the participatory perspectival, there’s a difference between believing something and actually it being something you live within.

Thal

Lived experience.

John Vervaeke

I want to really deepen that. I appreciate how you’re introducing it. I have some criticisms of how some people use that. I think that gets used often romantically as a way of…you have to be careful here because I’m not saying that everybody uses it this way. I’m not saying that I am not saying that, but what I am saying is some people use this as a way of doing what you mentioned earlier, Adrian, right? What they’re doing is they’re collecting important experiences of suffering or you know, or, or peak, you know, people look for tail ends of the distribution that will guarantee their uniqueness, right? There’s their narcissism by special, special uniqueness, right?

Thal

Thats the word, narcissism.

John Vervaeke

It is a response to the meaning crisis. That’s why narcissism is becoming such a problem for us. I want to deepen that notion. Let’s say like, sometimes this will happen to me like you’re reading a novel perhaps, or like for me, I’m reading like a particular philosopher, like Whitehead or something and I’m finding the arguments very persuasive and I’m getting all kinds of beliefs. Right? And it’s very propositional, you know, but then there’s this thing and it goes from being like propositional to being adverbial. I start seeing the world in a Whiteheadean way. I start feeling it, experiencing it, and I start to understand and experience myself in a Whiteheadean fashion. Now I’m living the worlview. It’s viable to me as opposed to. Right. And so I’m really interested in what makes, because it’s relation to the meaning crisis, what makes a worldview viable like that. And I think Harry Frankfurt’s work is really helpful here. He talks about um, whether or not something is, he calls it unthinkable. I don’t like that word, but that’s his term. So let me give you an example. My son, my oldest son, lives with me right now, right? So I can imagine kicking him out and I can make all kinds of inferences about what I would pay. Say more money. The apartment would be cleaner, right? So in one sense I can imagine, I can make an inference, but it’s unthinkable to me because I can’t make it a viable option. I can’t get myself into that process of identifying the world and I, I can’t get my identity and the identity of the world to be resonant in such a fashion that I could be the kind of person that would kick my son out the fittedness. So it just doesn’t work. It’s not viable for me. Now that’s positive. Right, and that has to do with love because it can think about it because you know when I was talking about that reciprocal revelation in Alethea though as the world is revealing its self to me, I’m revealing myself to it and those are deeply interpenetrating processes. That’s also, that’s also love. That’s why love has been used as a metaphor for this kind of participatory knowing. Right? In fact, if you do that with people, that’s what Erin’s work show. If you get people to do mutually accelerating revelation about each other, disclosure, you start to disclose a bit about yourself and that I disclose a bit more about me and then that makes you, and if we start getting into that, then that’s how you get people to fall in love. Whether it’s sexual or friendship, right? So there’s that love element that that reciprocal connectedness right now, that’s a positive version of it. And I remember talking to asking Laurie Paul about this, and she thought it was a good a good point. I said, but isn’t there a negative version of that? Where like, and I remember bringing it uo to Mark. I said, Mark, you’ve got the negative version. Where’s the positive insight? Because also say to Frankfurt, you’ve got the positive versus the negative. Can’t that reciprocal relationship. So bind you in, and this was your point, Thal, so binds you in that you can’t write. You can believe what you need to believe and you can imagine it, but you can’t unfold. You can’t, you can’t, you know, reverse the direction of the reciprocal relationship in that’s existential inertia. You get locked into a world that’s the existential inertia.

Adrian

Which is different from indecisiveness?

John Vervaeke

Indecisiveness is another thing. So let’s call it, let’s call that an existential to inertia and I want you to think about how important that is to therapy. Because when people come into therapy, they know they have to. They know what they have all the right beliefs about where they should be and they can imagine it. They could make mental images of where they need to be.

Thal

They can probably see their patterns too.

John Vervaeke

But they can’t get there, they don’t have the know how they don’t have the perspectival and the participatory knowing. Okay, let’s do the existential indecisiveness. Adrian, and this goes to the heart of Lori’s work. L. A. Paul’s work and transformative experience. She talks about transformative experiences and they’re, and they have this following kind of characteristics. She had this wonderful gedanken experiment. Philosophers do this, right? They put you in bizarro world and you play with it, and then once you sort of agree with, oh, that makes sense. Then they say, Aha, so this is what she does. She says, imagine the following. Your friends come up to you and they give you indubitable evidence that they can turn you into a vampire. Do you do it? And you go, what? And she says, well, here’s the problem you face. You don’t know what it’s what it’s going to be like. Remember the perspectival knowing to be a vampire until you’re a vampire so you don’t have that perspectival knowing, right, and you don’t have the participatory knowing, you don’t know who you’re going to be because when you become a vampire, your priorities and your sense of identity and your sense of agency, all that coin and all that’s going to be changed. So here’s the problem. You face, you’re ignorant. You’re deeply ignorant of the perspectival knowledge that you don’t yet have ahe participatory knowledge that you don’t yet have. So what do you do? What do you do? Well, I don’t do it, but then you don’t know what you’re losing. You don’t. No you don’t. No, sorry. You don’t know what you’re missing. You don’t know what you could be missing the best thing ever. Well then I will do it. Ah, but then you don’t know what you’re losing. You don’t know what you’re going to. You don’t know what you’re going to see. The thing is you can’t, you can’t do. So we typically, what we thought is, well, what we do in situations of uncertainty is we go we are bayesian in, right? We calculate the probabilities, we calculate the utilities, but you can’t calculate the probabilities. You can’t calculate the utilities because you’re absolutely ignorant. So what do you do, and so she said this is the thing is this is what she calls a transformative experience. When you go through this radical transformation of your perspectival and your participatory knowing. So people also face that when they’re in therapy, they face this existential indecisiveness, which they’re stuck in inertia, but they’re also contemplating changing. They don’t know how that’s part of the problem. But the other part of the problem is, well, what will I be losing when I go over there? What will I don’t know what I’m missing and I don’t know what I’m going to be. So they’re, they’re existentially indecisive. And you see, we used to have, you mentioned the Sufis. We used to have these broadly powerful traditions in which we had institutions and traditions and communities that gave people support and guidance and structure to transformative experience.

Thal

So that they plunge into the unknown…

John Vervaeke

But they don’t, like we sad, with the psychedelic, they don’t plunge into it like in an autodidactic fashion. Autodidactism is, uh, you know, it’s the worst way to do science. It’s the worst way to make literature. It’s the worst way to do poetry. It’s also the worst way to do spirituality. Right? Laurie sort of does that and she really wrestled her point, which is the brilliant point of the book is like our normal notions of standard rationality just don’t apply to transformative experiences. Laurie’s no romantic or like she’s a hardline.

Thal

It is funny that you use the word autodidact because I consider myself an autodidact and that’s what hindered me from my own progress. Absolutely.

John

You only have most of your cognitive flexibility comes from your ability to internalize the perspective of others and to internalize psycho-technologies from your culture at large. Right? And if you’re an autodidact, that’s often that self organizing adaptive intelligence just runs in its own echo chamber. So I got really interested in this problem, the transformative experience problem and how psychedelics and mystical experiences. So I started thinking, okay, Laurie’s right, you can’t sort of logic or probability or theory your way through it. So what do people do? Do they do the Kierkergaard’s leap of faith?

Thal

I was about to say that. Kierkegaard’s leap of faith.

Adrian

Do a test drive where they, they do little micro experiments.

John Vervaeke

Excellent. Exactly. So this is so, so let’s do this. So the point about the gedanken experiment, right, is you’re not going to vampire, but then Laurie says, but you face real decisions like this in your life. Here’s one, have a child, and if you haven’t had a child and I have had to two, you don’t know what it’s like until you’ve had one and you don’t know who you’re going to be because you’re going to be a different person after you. If you’re a good parent, right? Or you decided to enter into a romantic relationship with somebody. If all that participatory knowing we talked about, it’s going to happen. You’re going to be a different person in a different world. You don’t know what you’re losing. You don’t know what you’re missing, and then I pointed something out to Laurie, which she, she agreed with. I said, you know what? Every developmental change that the brain’s going through into all of our cognitive development, we’re facing these transformative things. She said, yeah, it’s that pervasive. So let’s go back to Adrian’s point because I think it’s excellent. What did people do when they think about having a child? He said like, they do the test run, so I looked around and so what people do is they get a pet and they do weird things with the pet like they get, they’ll take family pictures with it and they’ll take it on vacation with them. So they do this, they do this thing or in, you know, uh, my, my partner and I were talking about this when we we’re away going to Cuba. It’s like one of the things people do, but in order to decide to get a relationship as they go on a trip with somebody and I thought, okay, what’s going on here? What’s going on here? And I thought, oh, this is really interesting. So what people are doing is they’re engaging in a very serious kind of play, right? So think about like how a play object is, has two identities, the plastic sword, it’s a sword but it’s not a sword so you can play with it to see what it’s like, but it doesn’t have the danger. So same thing with the pat, same thing with the trip, right? So it’s this, it’s this, it’s an analogy, but it’s not a propositional analogy, it’s an inactive analogy. You’re acting it out and it, and it takes tremendous skill. Like a good analogy. It’s gotta get. It’s got to get the balance between the two worlds, right? It’s got to get. It’s got to keep you in contact with the world you’re in right now because you know you don’t want to lose it without right, without being able to judge, but it’s got to give you enough. It’s got a trigger, enough of that perspectival and participatory knowing so you get a real good taste and think of the word we use taste. A taste of that world and you and you got to get it perfectly balanced. And I realized that’s one of the things that was going on with the ancient gnosis. Gnosis was this participatory knowing that was supposed to bring about transformation by trying to get. Give people these inactive analogies, this symbolic way of interacting so that you could play right now. You need it to do one other thing. Let’s go back. So that’s going to deal with the indecisiveness by giving you the test run. What about the inertia? Well, here’s an idea that comes from sort of the central Plato, platonic tradition, but we talked about it already, right? Giving people psycho-technologies that get that, that process of reciprocally opening the world up. Plato had a word for this anagogie the ascent, right? And what you do is, and Plato had this great insight that if you get the psycho-technologies lined up in the right way, they will become mutually reinforcing. So what I want is I want psycho-technologies that reduce my inner conflict because it’s the different motivational centers are what skew my salience landscape and make me self deceptive. So here’s a typical one. You have, you have hyperbolic discounting. You tend to find presence stimuli, very salient and future ones, very non-salient. That’s why people procrastinate. That’s why dieting is such a failed industry, right? Recidivism rate is 95 percent. They only have a five percent success rate and they rake in billions of dollars, right? What you want to do is you want to make sure, and this is what was lacking, what Stanovich was noting was people was lacking. See, your intelligence makes things quickly, salient, to you. Remember the airplane crash, right? You’ve got to retrain your salience landscape so that it will tend to zero in on the real patterns as opposed to the illusory or false patterns and that takes a lot of practice. One of the ways you do that, plato saw is by working to try and get an optimal relationship between what you find salient, but also what you find true, right? So trying to get that part of you that urgently connect you to the world, talking to the part of you that can pick up on more abstract but real patterns. What Plato saw right is as that internal conflict goes down, my self-deception goes down. Because if my salience landscape isn’t radically skewed away from my truth landscape, if they’re much more talking to each other and consonant then I’m much less likely to engage in self-deceptive practice. But here’s the. Here’s the insight, as I reduced my self-deception by achieving inner peace, and that’s what was behind the stupid hallmark card, right? And we want inner peace with the idea that what I want, right? I have this meta drive to try and optimize these various adaptive ways of interacting with the world so that I get an optimal grip on the world. Right? But what plato saw as I get better at reducing this inner conflict, I start to see the world more clearly.

Adrian

What does that look like in practice? So I’m having a hard time what’s the exercise that Plato was referring to? Is it inner dialogue and like how do you.

John Vervaeke

That’s the thing, you’re not gonna find it in Plato because Plato is enormously. You’ll find it more on Plotinus and you’ll find it also like in the Sufi tradition, you’ll find it all these practices. So one of the things that you should be going to a mindfulness practice for is not relaxing, not feeling better. I’m actually going to be on a TV show for the fall The Beaverton, where I represent a scientist talking about mindfulness as opposed to people who are sort of practicing mindfulness to feel good.

Thal

I’ve heard people actually refer to mindfulness as…oh, this is bullshit now.

John Vervaeke

That’s right and that’s because mindfulness should be about education. It’s not a vacation, right? You should be going into mindfulness. To reduce. You should see a significant reduction reported to you by others in your self deception. That’s what it starts to look like and you start to see situations and people differently. Now as you start to see people and situations differently, you know what that means. You start to do, you start to understand yourself better and differently, so you now start to get better at aligning the psyche, which then means it’s better for you to see and understand. That’s how you can start to get that positive feedback cycle going. Does that make sense?

Thal

I’m just also thinking about spirituality also that some people even use that as a self deception mechanism. Totally. It just becomes a bypass and don’t go into the like your inner world and to reduce that inner conflict.

Adrian

I think part of it is how it’s sold to us. I mean, for me, I started diving into meditation practice only about three years ago, so I consider myself very early on the path, but the way that it’s often taught or the way I interpreted it is escapist version of meditation.

Thal

It has been my journey for seven years, Adrian.

John Vervaeke

It’s part of this sort of crypto romanticism. I mean that as a philosophical cultural project not romantic love although that where it came from too. Like romanticism with the idea, right? How can I put it here? Here’s how I would put it in a somewhat simplistic slogan, the idea that you have a true self, not at, not in a Buddhist sense or like the the inner machinery but you have an autobiographical self that you have to be true too, right, and this is, this is the opposite of the axial revolution is the aspirational self. Socrates was trying to help us realize and cultivate and through wisdom and transformation come to our true self. You are not born with it as a finished identity that you constantly have to harken to and then your project is to show to the world how unique and special right that inner self that you’re born with. The project isn’t the project shifts from how do I realize and become my true and better self to the project of how do I continually demonstrate to the world myself and what it is and how unique it is. And so what people do, I think is they collect spiritual experiences and then they’re like, they’re these bejeweled glamorous that they put on their narcissistic shelf and um, yeah, I think, I mean I think that’s just a disaster, but if you go back to what we were talking about, if you, if you get a community that gives you this serious play and that gives you the tools.

Thal

The cognitive tools.

John Vervaeke

That serious play, that inactive analogy, that enacted anagogic transformation, then you can bring about a transformative experience and people are doing this spontaneously and they’re doing it and they’re doing it. Let them. Let me give an example because this is so bizarre, right? So what are some of the most secular countries in the world? The Scandinavian countries. So in Scandinavia there’s a role playing a style of jeep form that has emerged. And so the point about this is like a you know what a role play game is, right? Dungeons and dragons, and then you have larping where you live action role playing, right? Larping I should say. Right? And then this is one thing more or so what you have is you have a bunch of people, they come into a situation, they’re given a situation, they have to act out, and then the dungeon master is actually like a director and what to do like a movie set director. He’ll cut a scene or they’ll say switch or switch roles, or I’ll give you a prop and say this is a sword now use it and what you’re doing is you’re acting out scenes and you’re acting on scenes that are actually real life scenes and this is what you actually are striving for. You’re trying to get a phenomenon called bleed, so what you want is you want the senior acting out to be similar enough analogically similar enough, but open you up and do enough flexibility in play that you’ll the line between what you’re playing and your real life bleeds so that you can do. Now if you would ask the people or even religious, they go, what are you talking about? But you said, but why are you pursuing this? I mean, from the outside. This looks to me like a spiritual practice. This is a radical practice that started a highly ritualized situation with a community of support and desire and you know, and it’s not escapist this like it’s often like deeply disturbing and troubling to these people, but they’re seeking genuine release from this indecisiveness, existential indecisiveness, and existential inertia, that’s the kind of thing.

Adrian

Is this unconscious, you suspect they’re not going and knowing that that’s what they’re doing it for?

John Vervaeke

I think it’s semiconscious. It’s sort of like it’s mythologically aware to them they, they got, they know that this is meeting, look like. Think about it. When we were talking about that inner peace, you have played this Plato’s great insight that in addition to whatever you want, you want to, you want to experience it with inner peace. If I said to you, I’ll give you tremendous fame, but it will rip you apart inside. Do you want it? You go, no, I don’t think so. Right? But there’s another one. Remember, in addition to any piece, I want to be in contact with the real patterns. Same thing. People have a metta desire to whatever they have, right? They want it to be real. So I’ll do this in class with my students. So I’ll say, how many of you I’ll probably have I do this too much. I’m going to spoil it because they are students and they’ll start just screwing around with me but generally I’ll say, how many of your in like deeply satisfying personal relationships right now put up your hand. Surprisingly, a lot of them put up their hands contrary to all the complaining we hear. And then I’ll say, now the following, I want you to imagine it’s like Laurie’s Gedanken experiment. Imagine that your partner is cheating on you and finding out that they were cheating on you would absolutely end the relationship that you have right now. How many of you want to know if your partner is cheating on you? Keep your hands up. 95 percent of the people keep their hands on it. They’d rather have the real suffering that the fake happiness. Right? And so I think the same thing’s going on with this jeep forming this. They’re, they’re finding that they’re getting, they’re getting a bit of that analogic play, they’re getting a bit of that anagogic, you know, reciprocal revelation. They’re getting that opening up, right? They’re getting that, that, that transformation and their perspectival and participatory knowing they’re getting that gnosis and they’re feeling deeply connected to themselves and to each other into their world. Now they don’t think of that as the hallmark of spirituality and I think that spirituality is about believing in supernatural entities and seeing strange lights, but I think that’s the key is spirituality because they’re going through these radical transformations of consciousness and cognition, community and communing with others, designed to bring about enhanced relevance, realization, enhanced insight, wisdom, cognitive flexibility, changing. They’re very patterns of co-identification, how they identify others and their world and themselves.

Thal

It is like that awareness expansion. To go back to that question you mentioned, is it, is it religious? No, it’s not because there’s no dogma.

John Vervaeke

I make a distinction between religion and religio. So religio is a Latin word and it is one of the two contenders for the edible, logical origin of the word religion but religio actually means connectedness this to connect things, to bind things together. So that sense of binding I think was crucial. Now I think what, what goes on in religion is you also get credo, I believe, right? And you get these propositional statements. Now the point of the propositional statements is to originally is to, is to create a community and to create practices and psycho-technology, literatures about psycho-technologies to help people. But the problem is like you can get a creedal oppression where the credo crushes the religio.

Thal

Brings about rigidity and increases inner conflicts…

John Vervaeke

Right and so what we get is we get, we get another thing that is a terrific sign. So we talked about narcissism and these two are related, although most people won’t see them initially is related, but. Oh well good. Okay. So the narcissism, the meaning crisis. And then here’s another thing that’s connected to the meaning crisis and also connected to narcissism and that’s the rise of fundamentalisms. Beliefs not enough. So what I’ll do is I’ll just believe even more, like I’ll, I’ll pour everything into belief and I’ll make credo absolutely like the complete identity. When I talk to people from a religious background. I’ll often say … when I get into discussion and I do this respectfully because I really respect people who belong to a religious traditions because I understand like what, sorry, that sounds arrogant. I don’t mean it to be, I’m trying to say I understand in an appreciative fashion what they’re doing, what they’re trying to do, but I’ll often say to them, don’t tell me what you believe…tell me what you practice and tell me how those practices are making you more wise and more compassionate or capable of self transcendence and more capable of transforming the world to deal with the situations we’re dealing with. Don’t tell me what you believe. Tell me about your practices.

Thal

This is an important distinction. Just because I come from a, like I was brought up in a more religious environment and that’s the struggle. Growing up, a lot of young people are just given all these dogmas and instructions and it’s so divorced from the reality of everyday and so the young generation becomes so disenchanted, so they either turn to complete nihilism or the other side is fundamentalism.

Adrian

Yes. The interesting move for me coming from pretty secular, um, you know, upbringing towards a more open mystical, you know, explorer. I think the move for me was to shift away from asking what’s true to how is this useful, right. It is literally the bring it to the practical ground to get in practice. Was, was the move that helped open me to something that was uncomfortable and different and scary and start to experiment.

John Vervaeke

Well, I think that’s the key. I mean, I think the summit of propositional knowledge is what we call knowledge scientific knowledge. I think the summit of the procedural perspectival participatory stuff is what we call wisdom. And those are not the same thing. You don’t get wisdom by getting a lot of knowledge. Knowledge is relevant to wisdom, but it’s like the relationship between intelligence and rationality. It’s a necessary but not sufficient. I would say useful, but you want useful again and I’m hoping this is helpful to you. I’m not trying to step on your toes, right? But you want useful to be broadened in the sense of useful for helping you overcome patterns of foolishness and useful for helping you engage in patterns of flourishing, things that are useful for the cultivation of wisdom. Are you getting better at seeing when you’re in messy situations do you have sets of practices that help you zero in on what’s relevant and what’s real. So I understand what, what, what true, but if we talk about real in that athletic sense, that sense of I’ve got a connectedness to the world that’s opening up me and the world in an ongoing fashion. A fashion that in which I can. There’s good reason and good evidence to believe that, you know, I’m, I’m becoming wiser, more compassionate, more engaged and effective person. Right. Then that’s what I’m saying…usefulness means…I hope you find that helpful because of the problem with the word useful is it’s, broad and, it can be sucked into that narcissistic project. It could be useful for promoting myself image and then it undermines the very, the very thing we’re trying to talk about here, I think.

Thal

Useful in a more meaningful, profound way.

Adrian

In a relational sense.

John Vervaeke

I would say existential and sapiential sense. Yeah. So if you’re, if you, if you have sets of practices that take you through the unavoidable and indispensable transformative experiences that you need to encounter and to go through there are unavoidable in your life. Someone dies, you leave, right? You lose your job, you decide to enter into relationship. All these things we’re talking about like do you have right cognitive practices, consciousness practices, community practices, character building practices that reliably take you through the in a way in which the field of flourishing life is expanded for you and the lives you touch. That for me is what I would say usefulness is so I’m a little bit critical of people who have some points where have a little bit critical of Jordan Peterson. I wish Jordan would get a little bit clearer on his pragmatic theory because I have. I want to debate him again at some point.

Adrian

It brings it back to the narcissistic tendency of I think a lot of spiritual circles. That pursuit of selfing it keeps defining it actually making the self more rigid.

John Vervaeke

This is why, again, like you’ve got to so, so the struggle, Thal, that you’re going through. For example, as where do I go to get like a community because you need, you need many people committed together to this like the jeep formers, regular, reliable meeting and getting together. Where do I find a community? Where do I, that it has as systematic set of psych-technologies and exemplar role models that are at different developmental stages in life so that as I moved through those developmental stages, I have a narrative understanding of what’s going on. Where do you have that? Well, the only place where we’ve typically had that up until now are religion, right, and when we tried second or alternatives, we tried ideologies in the 20th century and that drench the world in blood. Right? So we don’t want. We know that that’s not right. That’s not working and many of us, the traditional religions don’t work for a lot of the reasons we’ve articulated, but we need something very much like what they did. This is why I’m critical of people like Dawkins and Harris, right? Because yes, I think, I mean I consider myself a non-theist that, that I think both the theist and the atheists have presuppositions that are shared that I reject and at some point I’d like to talk about that agree not today but at great length, but see the thing about people like Dawkins is they concentrate on the false beliefs. It’s like, yes, okay, great, but you know, and this is what I sometimes point this out, you know, you have to get what Nietzsche talked about, like what he said, God is dead, right? The madman runs into the marketplace and he’s telling them who’s he talking to? He’s not talking to the theist, he’s talking to the atheist. He says, you don’t know what you’ve done. You’ve wiped away the sky. We’re forever falling. You don’t know what you’ve done by killing God. You don’t know. You’ve thrown away all this axial legacy, all this machinery and you and you don’t know how to replace it.

Thal

It is the most misunderstood statement.

John Vervaeke

Yes. So I mean Nietzsche’s great project is to try. But the problem is he was too much of an autodidact, right? And that’s my great criticism of Nietzsche. His project was, I mean he’s, he’s a great prophet of the meaning crisis, and his project was to try and create an alternative form of spirituality and then alternative mythology, the mythology of the Ubermensch. I have lots of criticisms of that, but people need, you need to see, what he was, what he was on about, wasn’t that people had silly false beliefs he was on about. No, no, we’re facing the meaning crisis and we’ve got to do something about this because if we don’t, it’s just going to get worse and it’s gonna get worse and people are going to turn to fundamental systems at the totalitarianisms and ideologies at escapisms and we’re going to get kind of the situation we’re in now today.

Adrian

So I’m just being mindful of time. I want to ask you personally, what are you working towards in moving towards the middle thing that we, you know, you mentioned about, you know, not religion but also not, not the secular ideology. What, what are you doing currently to support?

John Vervaeke

So in addition to the academic study and teaching of this material, I also try to teach people extracurricular that some of these psycho-technologies, mindfulness practices, I teach classes on meditation, Tai-chi and contemplative practices. I used to run a wisdom sanga. I’d like to start that up again. When you’re an academic your schedule changes all the time and it’s because it’s difficult. What Im doing also is I’m trying to…I’ve just, I’m just coming off sabbatical, like I have another one in a half a year. It’s a weird situation. With other people, not on my own, but with other people. A lot of these people I’ve mentioned colleagues, RAs, and fellow professors try to examine a lot of these psycho-technologies and trying to salvage what was going on when people are practicing this practice or that practice or that practice or that are trying to what we do in cognitive science, we reverse-engineer the mind. We tried to reverse engineer the mind, right. That’s what we’re trying to do in AI. I’m trying to reverse engineer what, like there’s all these oftern these creepy wonky metaphysics and weird beliefs and crazy superstitious. Right? But thinking about what Nisha said is, can we reverse engineer what were the psycho-technologies, what was going on in neoplatonism when people were doing theorgia, what was going on in, you know, when the gnostics were doing all their weird strange stuff, what’s going on when the Tibet and Buddhist and you can’t be, you can’t just dabble, right? You have to like, you have to like seriously read and study and practice and go through that transformative challenge, right? Yeah. So you have to guinea pig yourself to a degree, but you can’t autodidact. So doing a lot of that and trying to integrate that practical in a deep sense. It’s an insufficient word, that practical knowledge into a lot of this theoretical knowledge. I’m about to release a video series on my youtube channel. I’m awakening from the meaning crisis. It’s a series of hour long videos. I’m basically trying to lay out all this argument and that also talk about, right, how do we respond to the media crisis culturally, how is it enmeshed and interacting with other crises we’re facing. We were facing sociopolitical socioeconomic environment, socioeconomics, socio ecological crises, how, how is it Intermesh, right? And trying, but also individually giving people, okay, well what are, what are psycho-technologies you can practice, how can they be systematically related? Trying to give people, again, not on my own, but with many other people. Like what does wisdom mean? What does, how, what’s the theoretical structure that you could use? Right and trying to set that up for people. Sorry, that sounds pretentious and I don’t mean it to be, but I’m trying to answer your question.

Adrian

I appreciate it because there’s a sense of urgency. We can’t, we can’t wait for the perfect product, we just have to start doing it. We have to. Everybody has to try their best and, and collaborate and not, you know, not one person is ever going to solve this whole thing.

John Vervaeke

Exactly. Totally. And we are facing individually, collectively, and culturally we’re facing like we have to go through the greatest transformative experience with like and all those levels in some coordinated fashion that we’ve ever gone through because, you know, as I said, these crises are all mutually interacting with each other, like the meaning crisis and the ecological crisis. Like they talk to each other, they resonate with each other and you know, in, in this sort of nasty fashion. I talked about this with Christopher Mastropietro and Filip Miscevic and the book we wrote on Zombies as a current mythology that the culture is produced for trying to give expression to the meaning crisis, but also right? The idea of, uh, you know, have a devastated ecology because the interesting thing with zombies, they’re not super natural, right? Monsters, they’re just us diseased…decadent, right. What’s weird is that they’re mindless. They lack the capacity to make meaning and they’re like us. They’re the only communal monster. They move and horns, but there’s no culture.

Thal

There’s no real connection.

John Vervaeke

Right? And they consume, they consume, but to no purpose to no end, right. They represent like the meaning crisis and the way it has a both metaphorically like did the destruction of our spiritual ecology when, how that is intermeshed with the destruction of our biological ecology.

Thal

Just in closing, like the things that you’re mentioning is in line with why we even started this podcast. Adrian and I we’re having coffee together and we were talking about the crisis of meaning and how that’s affecting us on a daily basis and our generation. Today you just gave us a lot of food for thought a lot.

John Vervaeke

Thank you for the opportunity. I mean I really do that. There’s so much here. Sorry every academic says this, but we’ve really just scratched the surface in so many ways. There’s just so much going on. There’s so much going on and I’m like I said, you know, there’s going to be the video series.

Thal

Your language…to me is very mystical and scientific!

John Vervaeke

Well, that’s the thing. I would hope it’s both I find one of the things I find gratifying was when I teach courses like this, I’ll have people from both sides of the aisle who are usually yelling at each other and come up and say that was really good. Absolutely. Yes. I mean that’s obviously appeals to my egotism and acknowledging that, but I think I can, if I can put myself aside to some degree, but you also mentioned that you’ve worked with a lot of people. There are a lot of people that are talking this language now. That’s right, and that’s what I think. That’s what I’m trying to say. That’s what I try to tell my students that, and again, in this, the people say this and this could also be a twisty narcissist thing. Really focus on the work and focus on what was happening with the idea is don’t focus on me. Right. But really there’s…It’s simultaneously a terrifying and exciting time.

Thal

It is. Absolutely, yes.

Adrian

John to be continued. It was a pleasure.

John Vervaeke

Great. Thank you very much, guys. Really enjoyed this a lot.

#6: Explore Your Consciousness with Jeff Warren

Meditation, being one of the oldest contemplative practices, helps us turn inwards. Turning inwards helps us understand the nature of our minds better, deepens our self-awareness, brings us closer to some form of internal freedom, and, hopefully, equips us with the tools to overcome daily humanely challenges a bit better. 

Using the metaphor of an armada of vehicles, our guest today playfully describes the different forms of contemplative practices, he writes, “We have the Yogic fire-breathing Namaste monster truck…the spooky Zen hover craft…a Sufi flying carpet…a Catholic chain of bubble campers…and the boring Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction delivery vans.”

In this episode, we navigate the fraught territory of consciousness and meditation with Jeff Warren. Jeff is the Author of Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics along with Mr 10% Happier Dan Harris. He also wrote The Head Trip, a guidebook to waking, sleeping and dreaming. We decided to take a stab at some “deep end” questions that relate to practice. Jeff tells us what it has been like for him since coming out publicly about his personal struggles with ADD and bi-polar. He also shares his personal vision for the future of mental health. At the very end, he leaves us with a beautiful 10 minute guided mediation. 

Highlights:

  • Exploring Consciousness
  • Meditation Practice
  • Experiences of Awakening
  • Democratizing Mindfulness Education

Resources:

Listen:

 

Where do you feel it? Poem inspired by this episode:

 

Full Transcript

Adrian

Jeff, welcome to the show.

Jeff Warren

Thanks for having me guys.

Thal

Thank you.

Adrian

Yeah, we were thinking maybe to start off, we’d love to hear what sparked your curiosity to explore consciousness and that’s something that we both share as far as, a passion and interest. What comes to mind as far as early experiences that might have sparked that in you?

Jeff Warren

Yeah, I mean it was sort of always there. Um, as far as I can remember. I mean I think I was telling somebody about this the other day. I remember vividly being a young kid and laying in my bed and trying to understand the concept of infinity and trying to understand the concept that my mind was trying to understand infinity and then as I try and notice what that was like and getting these strange kinds of, um, experiences were just vertigo experiences. And now I know because of having done a lot of practice that I was tapping into certain kinds of qualities or spaces, but I had no, of course way to think about or talk about it. I just would do that. And it seemed normal. Um, and then I remember times that I would try to do it then it wouldn’t have that there’d be a contrast. Things that had happened before weren’t happening. Things that I kind of wanted to have happen actually. And be like, oh yeah, that was cool. It was like, I found a way to get myself high and uh, without even knowing anything about this because I was a little kid. I would try to get back there and it would be different and I would say, well, what was different? Why is that different now? And so that was sort of like an ongoing thing without being too, you know, it wasn’t, there was nothing really precocious about it. It was just kind of this like it was the same way kids will like choke themselves out, which I also would do and go unconscious and just notice the weird delays in time. And um, and then as early as a young teenager I remember reading an Omni article on lucid dreaming. Omni, if you don’t know, was an extremely cool kind of psychedelic science, popular magazine from the eighties, probably started earlier than that. There hasn’t been a kind of magazine since then, like I quite like it, but it had a whole feature on lucid dreaming and how to do it. And I remember like really working hard at trying to make that happen and had some success. Um, and so that was, you know, and there’s other things I could say, like other kinds of, the most meaningful thing is sometimes you go into a practice now just like sometimes you walk around during the day and you remember a dream you had not even from last night, like from a year ago. Have you had that experience?

Adrian

Oh yeah.

Thal

Yes.

Jeff Warren

So it similarly in practice, sometimes I’ll be meditating and I’ll suddenly go back now remember an insight experience I had for many, many years ago and recently I remembered this really profound experience. I must have been like, I don’t even know, like seven or eight where I suddenly got this whole insight into suffering where I was realizing that I was just doing some kind of mundane habit that I, something I was just doing. It was like I was responding to a situation and I always kinda responding again in the same way, in a way that I thought was kind of funny, but I had this sudden incredibly sobering understanding that if I kept doing this, this will become my character. And then from there I went into this whole thing around, oh my God, that’s true for everybody all the time. We’re on this little like, you know, uh, wheel we’re going around around this little like and we’re just deepening these grooves. And I remember being, like really shocked and kind of like scared about that realization because I could see that some of the things I was in were not that healthy. And that was “whoa” I still think about that.

Thal

So you were dabbling in altered states from a very young age.

Jeff Warren

Yeah. Altered states and both the kind of energetic high expansion type, but also the more the deeper, um, deeper I would say ones that have to do more with being and more fundamental kind of questions. In retrospect, I can see they were there and why wouldn’t they be there? They’re there for everyone all the time. That’s part of cool things about existing, uh, but yeah, they were on my radar. And then, um, and then, you know, you go into like a narrowing and your late teenage years where I just was interested in sex, drugs and rock and roll and although that included transcendence and explorations and the journey goes on from there. And I can tell you more about the story, but, that’s a good start. Anyway.

Thal

When did you learn about meditation?

Jeff Warren

Well, a little later. I was researching a book on consciousness. So it was on waking, sleeping and dreaming and kind of trying to understand my mind because that was really one of the, through lines. And of course I knew about meditation before and I’ve done a lot of yoga practices and I’ve done different kinds of ceremonies and things, but I’d never really had a formal practice. So for that, this is back in about 2003. I went to my first retreat then, like that was my first week long retreat. And then of course everything changed because now you understand that, oh, these aren’t just academic questions, not that I didn’t know that before, but you know, you could say there’s a theory of dreaming and there’s actually having dreams and notice what’s going on. But my academic interest in consciousness and meditation took a big turn there because I could start to see that this was the place where I would be getting really the perspective of my direct experience that I was looking for.

Thal

Learning meditation and introducing meditation in your life in a way solidified your dabbling in altered states when you were younger and like the mystical experiences and deeper questions of life.

Jeff Warren

No question. Yeah, it gave me a framework to think about it. I mean, there are many frameworks to think about those kinds of experiences. I was familiar with some of them general mystical frameworks, but it gave me, you know, a kind of experiential map that I’ve found helpful. I mean, so that’s a whole story. You know, there, there’s kind of this, as you probably no doubt know, there’s kind of this very interesting and rich, ongoing kind of conversation or dialectic between our ideas and concepts and maps of what’s happening and our understanding from an intellectual point of view and our lived experience. And they’re both really important that, you know, often people, um, in the direct experience, spiritual world, they can be down on the maps and the concepts for many good reasons. But what I have found in my experience is that a good map, a good concept, a good take on something from a teacher or some kind of interest, some very thoughtful observer will allow me to see in my own experience, in a new way and sometimes move me more deep and deeply into experience. And then in turn, as I go into my experience, I’m able to refresh my concepts with what is the lived reality of this. So there’s a continual back and forth where you’re… and eventually I think one of the goals you can say is that the two converge and converge and converge until our model or understanding of what’s happening is directly mapped perfectly onto our actual lived experience. And that’s one way to talk about your practice.

Thal

Yes, it’s definitely all about the lived experience because we can all get lost in the theory and the books. And, and so how did you start teaching meditation?

Jeff Warren

Yeah. Well maybe I’ll just say one last thing to finish that last thought because you just made me think of something. The continuing interest in maps is really healthy. Uh, the continuing incept in those interests in those frameworks is really, can really enrich that lived experience. And so my progression as a practitioner was that I, I had, um, first sort of my teacher, Shinzen giving me a whole model or a map or way of working than kind of being really interested in the progress of insight and how that worked to use a different map or model and an ongoing like that. Every time I would go into a new map, it would give me a new way to explore, a new way to understand it. So there is continual rich back…They’re both awesome. That’s what I wanted to say. Um, yeah.

Adrian

What was it about Shinzen’s specific framework that really resonated with you? It sounded like that one in particular as a map became very useful to you as an explorer.

Jeff Warren

Yeah. Well, what was interesting with Shinzen is that he only, he doesn’t really have a map in terms of where the thing goes. He has a very rough map of like it, you know, a general thing that goes more and more into mystery and his particular kind of “God” is emptiness – impermanence. That’s the altar he worships at. And that’s where he lives, so that’s the thing he’s pointing you to. What was radical about him for me, was the way he broke down the skills of what is involved in a practice. Like what a successful meditation practice needs to go deep. What are the actual skills you’re building, like the concentration, clarity, equanimity. Those were his focus. So that really became my thing for me that I’ve now run with because I think of that as, okay, how can I apply that to all practices when I meet someone who’s a successful movement practitioner, psychotherapeutic practitioner or depth psychologist or you know, Shaman, whatever it is, how our concentration, clarity and equanimity is showing up and what else is there because not to be reductive about it, what are the other skills that may be there? And that he gave me that way of thinking about it, which I probably had a little bit already because I haven’t written a book on consciousness and I always interested in, but that made it. Or you can also find those skills in your direct experience. So that’s my focus as a teacher is not on any vehicle or anyone form or anyone technique. Even it’s more like, okay, how is equanimity showing up right now? What is the nature of that, uh, and how to help them understand that and then help them find more and more of it and then merging with the other skills. So that was his genius. I mean, people don’t often think of him for that. He’s got his whole map and his, he’s got a whole grid of techniques that he’s really proud of that are really cool, but for me to concentration clarity, equanimity part that was like… Because he could talk about it, how, how it led, how each of those skills lead to deeper and deeper into the path in a way that no one had ever articulated for me. And it was like, oh my gosh, this is like the, this is the good stuff here. I mean this is the thing I needed to hear

Adrian

After digging into the archives of some of your articles, I remember reading, an analogy you made with those parts and you refer to, I think it was a car, it was a car analogy. I don’t know if you can help remind me the particulars because it was really helpful in seeing how different parts of the vehicle were those specific core practices?

Jeff Warren

Yeah. So that’s the way it’s a metaphor of just kind of vehicle versus parts that. My metaphor was that like, you know, you can just picture, you know, Mad Max, the open desert and all of these vehicles cruising through the desert and there’s like the yoga-Namaste, a monster truck with the big fire breathing Pranayama people in the back and then there’s the kind of boring MBSR delivery van. Then there’s like the Vipassana, you know, a body scan, vibratory impermanence wave that’s floating over here. And the, the, you know, all the different vehicle you can think in. Each vehicle is a different technique or different form like. And they would include not just meditation vehicles from Zen and Buddhism and into practice, but Nondual vehicles, but also movement practices and Pranayama practices and artistic practices, humanistic practices. I mean in psychotherapeutic practices. I mean all of these practices you can think of all the world’s ways in which they’ve tried to start with this basic recognition that living is a training and that practice is being deliberate about that training, about how you want to live and here’s the armada. And so people get confused. They’re like, “well, which vehicle should I get in?” Because it’s overwhelming. You know, you’re, you’ve got like there’s thousands of vehicles and my whole thing is, well, it’s not so much the vehicles important and wonderful and beautiful and there’s a lot about the specifics of each vehicle which are important to understand and wonderful to learn. But in so far as any vehicle is going to make it through the desert, it’s always going to have certain parts that are the universal. So the. That’s the analogy I would say is the concentration is always going to be there. And that’s really the steering system. Every vehicle has a steering system, you know, you’re going to need, you need to have the capacity to hold the direction to devote your attention and some direction and not being blown out in 50 directions. So that single pointed quality of concentration and devotion is always going to be there. There was always going to be an equanimity component, which is sort of like the grease in the engine and all the parts. That’s what allows things to move fluidly. Equanimity being the smoothness, the ability to open to the actual moment to accept what’s going on, you know, you will. There is no way you can deepen in any practice and not have that. It’s just impossible. Um, you know, maybe there’s someone that can point me to an exception. I’ve never, I’ve yet to hear it. I’d love to hear one. Sorry for the reckless generalizing, but this has been my life as an explorer that I’m always looking. I’m so, I would say those two are the absolute for sure needed. There’s a clarity piece that I think is sort of an optional one. It’s related to the awareness piece to how deliberately aware you’re becoming. It’s like the windshield. Um, many, many practices have it definitely Vipassana. Definitely Nondual practices, defitely certain Yogic practices. Some don’t have a deliberate emphasis on it, but it’s a byproduct that you become more aware. You start to become aware of more and more stuff. But there are lots of practice that don’t emphasize the awareness and that’s often where you have the problems. Like people have these shadows that they don’t ever bother looking at. They developed the freedom from the equanimity and the concentration level a lot of power, a lot of freedom, but they don’t see the way that they’re basically fucking up stuff around them because they had these big shadows. They’re just, they, you know, it’s a real problem in this, as you know, in the spiritual path. So I think the clarity piece should be part of it and that clarity and awareness piece. So those are three. And then I would say there’s a friendliness piece too, which is just like, “I hope you’re developing compassion”. [laughing] I really hope so. And it’s a muscle and other muscle group. And I would say it’s sort of like the, um, I dunno, I haven’t figured out the metaphor for what that is. Maybe it’s the, maybe it’s the perfume around your vehicle, maybe…

Adrian

It’s the tunes, the music!

Jeff Warren

Nice dude! Some Bob Marley on the stereo or maybe it’s something loving and it puts people in a warm space. And that comes spontaneously, of course, from a practice. The reason it’s not deliberate is that a lot of practice, it just emerges, you know, that’s what happens when the heart is opened. It starts to just come from your own contact with our own being in a way. But then of course, lots of practices deliberately cultivated within every tradition. You know, and that’s, and I think it’s a good idea.

Thal

As a fellow explorer, I do agree with you. It’s so hard not to get, not distracted, but to get that, attracted to other forms of practices and not just focus on one type. So my question is how do you balance? Because I know I’ve struggled with that where I was like, “am I just, you know, a Jack of all trades?” I’m doing all these things and not going deep into one practice, but in retrospect from my own experience, I know that I was doing a lot of spiritual bypassing when I was focusing on just one practice and when I introduced psychotherapy in my life as a spiritual practice, more than just exploring my own mental health issues, that’s when things were like completely exploded in my face. So I dunno. Yeah..

Jeff Warren

Great question. I mean, it’s the million dollar question, um, and it’s so important and I can tell you my personal answer, but ultimately this idea that you choose one thing and stay with it, uh, is somehow always the right thing is not true. It’s really about the individual has to understand what’s right for them. For a lot of people it is really important to just choose one thing and to have that commitment. And I would say certainly when you’re doing your practice, it’s important to have that one pointed commitment to be developing that capacity for devotion and concentration. But for other people, they’re able to explore different techniques and find synergies. Find that there’s a lot of complementarities it doesn’t confuse or overwhelm them and make things more complex. Um, uh, or more overly complicated. I would say the way that I’ve dealt with the ADD question, which is kind of what you’re asking, you know, isn’t that all just a bit ADD? The answer is: yes. [laughing] And the way I’ve dealt with it is it’s through exactly what I’ve been describing. When I realized that it doesn’t matter what practice I do, I’m always cultivating equanimity. There’s a move I can do in my body, I can show, I can guide you guys through it. Right now, there’s a move I do a in my body to make sure that I’m equanimous. There’s a move I do that ensures that I’m at least being concentrated. There’s a move I do that’s around being aware and being clear. Those are the skills that are always getting built. Those are my vehicles in a weird way, even though the parts so I can go into different practices and, and basically approached them as a mindfulness practice of like, okay, I’m just being aware of the things I’m training for it.

Adrian

Since you brought it up, we wanted to actually ask you about, you know, you came out recently on Dan’s podcast and talked about your ADD and in your personal struggle as a meditation teacher, I mean that, you know, that for us is really important because it’s easy, at least for me, I feel like it’s easy to walk around and carry this persona even as a meditator that you somehow have all your shit figured out and that your internal landscapes are all clean and you you’re always, in bliss states. But clearly it’s not the case. Could you share a little bit about how your relationship to ADD or your experience of it, if it’s changed at all since talking about it more and more openly?

Jeff Warren

Yeah. Great question. Well, it has changed my relationship to, it has changed. It’s not just the ADD, it’s the, I have ADD, I also have a lot of emotional intensity and dysregulation and I had a bipolar diagnosis a year ago, which was kind of a surprise, but also not a surprise. Um, and that just means like big spikes, you know, where I have a lot of energy. Even you could feel it when I’m in this conversation, I get excited about something. It’s like, here we go and that can lead into sort of hypomanic states and then there’s a crash crash where I’m exhausted and really despairing. So first of all, it takes a while to see clearly your own struggles. Like I’ve always known about the ADD, I’ve kind of known about the ups, but I didn’t really have the perspective on the ups and downs and until it’s still an ongoing thing. I learned new things about myself and the challenge is can you be honest, even with that, you know, when there’s so much expectation from people for the people that who are teaching them to somehow be, like you said, totally perfect and you internalize all these assumptions and ideals and so the experience of writing a book with Dan, the Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics book and going on the Joe Rogan podcast and talking about it was quite liberating because it was sorta like, now I’m just going to admit it. This is what I. I had kind of talked about it before and I’ve always tried to be a really an honest teacher that way, but like I said, I had sort of secret pockets of shame about it that I didn’t know I was holding back. So it kind of just put it all out there. It was very liberating, you know, and because what you realize is you’re not going to change fundamental ways in which how you are, you know, or maybe will very, very slowly. You’re always… All of us… It takes a long time to be able to live outside of conditioning and those conditions are gonna be a big part of your life for most of your life. And uh, the rough arc of those conditions is not going to change in a huge way. Certain parts will change. Like there’s aspects of my challenges that are due to physical trauma and other things that are, as I learned to discharge that energy, I’ll be able to.. Definitely the ups and the highs and lows and my bipolar thing will start to shrink and they’ve already started to definitely the ADD can start to come into more regulation. So there are ways in which we can begin to modify it, but I’ll always be someone who is sensitive who has ups and downs. Who’s a little bit scattered. Who’s creative. That’s part of the…And so kind of the journey is like just oh yeah, the adult quality of accepting that and not needing to be any different. And then then learning how to work with it. Like, given that I’m already like this and I know I don’t have to now put on myself all the shit about how I am somehow supposed to be different and it’s like I know what I’m doing, what I’m not good at doing. You know what I need? I had to get an assistant to help me with organizational stuff. I have a life coach. I just hired, helped me with organizational stuff. You know, you’ve got to put the environmental things in that are gonna that are gonna help you. And so that this process has really allowed me to do that. That’s one answer but there’s an even deeper answer, which is… The thing is, all the way through the struggle of it, I’ve been paying attention. What works, what doesn’t work from using these practices? So I’ve learned a lot about how to use mindfulness to change my relationship to the energies and back off and not feed them. So I can really early on, just like I did in this podcast, “oh, I’m tracking, I’m starting to go up, I back off like I’m back in. All right, now take a breath out, I let it pass” and then in the same way I can start to learn to do that with the down energies, which are harder because they’re gnarly. So what’s our job here? It’s to teach your suffering. Teach your healing and then I can bring that to my teachings. So I’m really focused on that. Like how can I… what do I do day to day that helps them with it and then how can I pay that forward?

Thal

That’s awesome. I mean, as a student of transpersonal psychology I can tell you that in many ways mainstream psychology uses labels, which are important, but they can be limiting and you can see how a lot of your creativity comes from those intense emotions. And that’s okay.

Jeff Warren

It’s okay. But it’s a pain in the ass. [laughing]

Thal

It is. I know from personal experience.

Jeff Warren

How do you work with it?

Thal

Same thing. I’m just, you know, more practice is what’s helping for me. My bypassing was through books for a long time as you can see. Yeah. So practice is very important. That’s all I can say.

Jeff Warren

How do you metabolize? Do you have energies that you work with are really challenging?

Thal

Um, anger, lots of anger.

Jeff Warren

How do you transmute it? What’s your alchemical process?

Thal

You know, what? I actually just dive deep into it and just, it takes me back to certain moments in my life. Like certain scenarios and I just lived through that moment and just, you know, sort of comfort myself through that moment and it just like .. [explode], that charge just goes away. And, um, and when I revisit that moment at a later date it’s like, “why was I that angry?” So, yeah.

Jeff Warren

Interesting.

Thal

Yeah. So we’d like to go into more mystical questions. Um, you know, the word even mysticism and the word spirituality. A lot of people are like, oooh. What do they mean to you?

Jeff Warren

Uh, I mean there are about questions of being and belonging. They’re the fundamental questions of that “here we are,” you know, some people from the philosophical would call them existential questions. We get busy with life and we get busy with the kind of operational side of life and many of us forget that actually we’re inside this enormous mystery. We don’t know how we got here. I mean really got here we can have all the explanations we want about biology and physics and, but which has all legitimate and wonderful, but there’s a larger mystery of why there is something in the first place and why there’s, it feels like something to be alive and what is the nature of awareness and what is the relationship between how we’re aware and the world around us and each other. And um, these are very, very, very fundamental questions. And for some people they never fall off the map. They never, they never fall off the kind of table of concerns, you know, you may get preoccupied with your life, but it’s sort like life still has this existential highlight or under it where you’re just a little bit wondering about the periphery that the big questions, the big questions. And so that was for me, they never fell off the table. Like when I was a kid, I was interested in them and I just stayed interested and eventually I realized, oh wow. Because I was an atheist at the time because I thought I didn’t have a way to understand that there was something soulful about spirituality or religion. I just heard the bad, the negative side of it, and saw the negative side. So I didn’t know. I thought the only way into this inquiry was through philosophy. I didn’t know you could actually feel into the inquiry. So I would say mysticism and spirituality are attempts to feel, to directly experienced the mystery, the these fundamental questions of being. And what we learn is that these aren’t just academic questions, that the way we feel into them, the orientations we make in our own experience change what we begin to understand about the nature of that mystery, the nature of our being, the beingness, whatever you want to call it, and that there are always going to be mystery there, but that certain parts of that mystery can start to be resolved in a very interesting way. Like the question of who we are, which we think of as, oh, this academic question, and actually you can know who you are, you there is an answer to that. It’s an ongoing answer, but it gets more and more deep and more and more vivid. The responses to that. So that would be how I would describe, uh, what mysticism is. Ohh – just got stung by a small bee. “Hello. Don’t forget the mystery” [laughing] Actually it wasn’t a sting. Just a little…

Adrian

That’s awesome. Jeff, I’d love to hear you talk about, um, just along the lines of different experiences of the nature of mind and you hear people bring terms up like ‘nonduality’ or ‘nondual states’ and the experience of it not so much, you know, finding a universal definition, but just what can you share about that, from talking to others and having personal experiences about specific states we can have that changes your concept of who you are. I mean the experience of who you are. Not the definition of it.

Jeff Warren

Yes. I mean, I can talk a lot about, this is my favorite subject. Um, it’s kind of like where to start, uh, because as someone who wrote about consciousness and was a journalist about it, I was interested in this from the beginning. And so I spent many years interviewing teachers and practitioners about these subjects, but also many years exploring on my own, so I have both a kind of intellectual understanding of what it is that I could speak to and that intellectual understanding is never completed. I’m always dissatisfied with it because I know it barely even points to what the thing is and I’m always updating it because there’s a continual process of seeing, oh, I was sort of naive about that. Or I can see how my early questions around. We’re really kind of more naive and as I get more experienced I get more sober around it. Um, but then I have my, I’m more comfortable even I would say talking about my own experience and my own experience is, first of all, I consider myself to be still very early in the path. And I have people in my life and teachers I admire who are very, very, very deep in what I would call a more non dual state. Meaning they, so this is where it gets already. You’re trying to define it, meaning they are in a vivid relationship with the big picture, the big picture of who they are, the big picture of their own life. Um, sometimes that’s experienced through emptiness, through a sense that they, there’s a kind of emptiness all around them that is both who they are and continually refreshing them. Sometimes it’s experienced through a more of a sense of unity, um, where, and that there’s unity in these things too. So the analogy is the classic analogy that I like that fits with my own experience is this idea of a crystal. So there’s a crystal and we go around and around the crystal, which is our own being. And we’ve, we polished different facets of the crystal. So every time, and you’re continually making a pass around the crystal. You polish this facet. And one facet is this facet of emptiness. And it’s possible the emptiness facet as somehow more privileged or deeper, more fundamental than all the others. That’s possible. And then you have the facet of unity of just like, which is, which can be. There’s different facets of the facet of unity. It can be just that there’s no inner activation and you’re so completely open to the world there’s only the world. That’s a more accessible end of it. But there are also ends of it where you literally feel yourself to be everything you’re looking at and it’s looking back at you, which my teacher Shinzen has. That’s another facet that unity. Um, there are other facets, like a spacious facet, which is one that I have a lot. There’s a kind of love or a heartbreak intimacy like, “oh!” [laughing] You know that one? Just like, “oh my God, the sacredness!”. Which is a spaciousness and the unity and an emptiness and the love. And it’s like, oh my God. So there’s these different facets that come to the floor. And for me as a practitioner, I would fall into one of these facets, uh, at a meditation retreat or in a ceremony, and I would think, oh my God, this, now this is it, this is the thing. I now know what they’re talking about. I’m here now. And then two things happened. One, to me, they’re like, oh shit. So I would just, it would fade. Sometime, you know, this, sometimes it would fade. It almost immediately started to fade after a few hours. Sometimes it would fade after a few weeks. I mean I had experiences of being deep and kind of space, this spacey, but open, spacious, intimate thing for weeks sometimes preceded by something dramatic. Sometimes I just kind of gradually got there and I would be in it for awhile and then it would just fade out. That’s one thing that would happen. It would fade. But then what would happen is I would suddenly reify that thing and I’d be trying to get back to it. And it took me years to realize that, oh, that was just one facet, because the next time I got back to it, it wasn’t that it was something else. It was a different facet.

Thal

And different and maybe better!

Jeff Warren

Exactly. And often it was like, oh no, this is the real one. It’s just this was just a shadowy version of this much more real one, which now is hopefully gonna be here for a longer time. I never think that now now is my teacher Shinzen and say the small self always comes back. The small self. I mean that you would want to use that language. But the relative world, the contraction and the conditioning, it comes back. And. But what I’ve noticed over the years, and so the only thing what I can say is most true, but my experience is that I feel like it’s on a, it’s easier to find all the time, more and more that I still forget. But then as soon as just talking about right now, it’s very immediate for me. It’s, it’s there as a feeling. I don’t have to, I can’t even. There’s no words, it’s like a direction. I can feel this. It’s like a, a kind of a charge in my experience, a fullness and kind of Ooh Yeah. And it’s very centering too. That’s there and it’s there more and more when I want it. And I, I had a long, for many years I reified this particular kind of cessation experience I thought you needed to have that would officially bring me into stream entry because I was into the models of stream entry. I was in the progress of insight. Shinzen is super into stream entry. Pragmatic Dharma’s into stream entry. You know, Daniel Mingram all these people, whatever. I was like, “yeah, I’m going to get stream entry!” And I’m going to have this experience of stream entry, which is going to be a cessation. I’m going to go through the emptiness door, the impermanence door as opposed to the suffering door which is really the door I was going through again and again and I like this door! But it really fucking hurts. But I’m like, but that’s the door out going through. And what I didn’t realize at the time was that people go through that kind of a door, have a particular kind of brain, you know, they, they’re like kind of Aspergers-ey flavoured nerds who tend to be really good at concentration and really good at clarity and they get the kind of… Disappear. And so I was trying to make that happen, but I was to add to get the, to get that to happen because I just didn’t have a good enough concentration. And so it took me years to just stop to get wise and to stop trying to get enlightened and stop trying to get stream entry and stop trying to compare myself to anybody else and just embrace the fact that I have no clue where I am on any map. Uh, I know I’m technically in the stream in the sense that like the stream of my practice and the stream of my experiences now just taking me places, like I don’t have to do anything. It just happens whether I want to or not. Um, and so I still practice deliberately, but I can feel the momentum. It’s like, Woo Hoo, you know. And sometimes I wish it wasn’t there because it’s not going to be through walls sometimes, like Bam, Bam, Bam. It’s like, it’s like a train that’s just going forward now. And sometimes you’re smashing through big dry brushes, full of thorns and sometimes you’re in these great views and other times you’re like, it’s not going through a wall or running over somebody. Not Quite. So that’s, hopefully that’s some, those are some models. In some ways you’re talking about it. There’s probably lots more I could say. I don’t even know why I said that, but that’s what I said.

Adrian

Yeah. I mean, I’m, I’m sitting here listening and I wonder for those that don’t normally geek out on or maybe even non-meditators, you know, is there something in these experiences that’s worth sharing? About maybe why it might be useful or, you know, sort of bring it to a practical level. Um, because I, you know..

Jeff Warren

I love it.

Adrian

I’m with you. I mean, we both would geek out and want to have all these rich experiences. But how do we bring it back to the real world? And what’s the point?

Thal

Right.

Jeff Warren

Awesome question. Thank you for bringing us back to the real world. I will say this is the real world, by the way. This is the real, real world as you know. Um, so okay. This is my also my interest. This is my interest is continually making this real and trying to ground this in practical, real world stuff. So I always, so thanks for bringing me back. I always end up in this place and then I think well, okay, how can I bring it around? So let me think. Um, uh, a couple things come to mind. Um, you said your podcast is about the crisis of meaning in our lives, uh, the crisis of meaning in our culture. I also agree there is a crisis of meaning. Um, it’s important that everybody asks themselves at some point in their life what is meaningful to me, not as an academic inquiry, but what am I doing? How am I being when a sense of meaning suffuses my experience. Because I guarantee that when that sense of meaning suffuses your experience, you are most of service to the world around you, almost always, and you are most in your gifts, your most in your being in some way. Um, that’s what I’m talking about. These practices bring us into that relationship with our lives. Every time another facet on that diamond is meaning that is literally a facet on a diamond. So anytime you are experiencing something meaningful, you are polishing that. You are in that space. So what I would want to say is I make it sound as esoteric because as soon as the words come out of my mouth, it becomes a thing that we reify and think, oh, this is happening to that guy over there. But it was just my lived experience and it’s your lived experience right now. If in this conversation I said something that you just sort of went, “Huh, wait a second”. In that moment you’re touching that diamond. It’s right there in your life. You’re either going to accidentally find this out or you’re going to start to get deliberate about how to touch it more often, but if you’re not getting deliberate about how to touch it. Why are you here? Because everything is about that. When you’re, when you’re telling someone you love them, when you’re caring for a child, when you’re doing social justice work, you are touching that diamond. You can do it in a way you could do it without realizing you’re touching it or you can be deliberate about it and make it a deliberate practice. And then all good flows from there. So it’s, we’re all rivers go. It’s, we’re all rivers begin.

Adrian

Beautiful. Awesome. Yeah, we’ve been hitting on this, but I, I also want to hear a little bit about just the various process of awakening, you know. Not as a singular experience but just, you know, awakening from… Awakening insinuates that something was asleep. So if you can touch on.. like you mentioned, there are many paths and many practices, but these experiences seem universal and it sounds like people have these common overlaps in the experiences of awakening when it comes to consciousness.

Jeff Warren

Yeah. So I think a lot about this and I think, I guess if I had to describe it as the most in the most generous, meta, universal way, that would embrace all traditions and cultures. I would say there’s a process in human life, which is kind of like a second… It’s kind of like a process of puberty that you go through, but it’s like a second kind of puberty period. Uh, but that happens more to fully formed adults. And that is a process of waking up to your bigger self. A larger wholeness, um, of understanding that you’re intimately connected to the world around you and you are part of it and not you’re waking up to that not as an academic idea, but as a lived experience of feeling that connection and that intimacy. And some people don’t even talk about it in the sense that it’s just what’s happening. And they would say, yeah, that’s sort of happened to me, but they didn’t need to make a big deal of it or call it awakening or, and they didn’t really notice. It was just a very gradual thing. So that’s how I often think about it, as practices accelerating the aging gracefully gradient. If you’re aging well in life, you’re going to go that direction anyway. And your grandparents know people like this or are people like this, you know your teachers, your mentors, you know, doctors, accountants whatever. There’s a way of aging where you’re just taking your own stuff a little less seriously and letting your borders be a little more porous. So that’s a process. Now that process can go very. It’s sort of like a hockey stick. We can start to move into that process, but there is definitely a depth dimension to that process where it can get very, very, very deep, hardcore or I wouldn’t say hardcore, but very serious spiritual practice as a way of accelerating that hockey stick. And getting really clear about the deeper end of where it can lead. As they’re doing that, sometimes the movement is very gradual the whole time and it’s like slowly boiling a frog, you know, you don’t… There’s very little contrast sometimes are discontinuous jumps were all of a sudden there’s a lot of contrast. So that’s what a lot of the maps are trying to get you to have a discontinuous jump where there’s a noticeable before and after. That’s what a cessation is. It’s what the classic path moments in Buddhism or you know, a big Nondual moment like in an Advaita traditional, “oh wow now I’ve had an awakening”. I realize it’s an awakening because you’re waking up to a previous level of sleepiness, but there’s always a, there’s always a previous level and a level of being more awake. And sometimes the problem is someone has a big jump and then they go, wow, that was it. I was asleep. Now I’m awake. But they don’t realize is there a lot more awakenings to come. They’re like small awakenings to show you that actually weren’t as awake as you thought you were. I don’t know if it ever ends, like there’s always… Because you’re, you’re, as you’re living, you’re, you’re accumulating veils, you’re accumulating kind of confusions and your awakening them to them at the same time and I don’t have enough experience directly myself to know if he ever get to someplace that is more permanently awake. I do know that having interviewed teachers, some teachers say especially the Nondual types “no, that’s it. You’re there”. Not Me, them. And maybe they are. And then other teachers who seem very there say no, “I’m never always there”. And I don’t know myself, I just feel like I’m always in process, but I will say I feel like I’m still low down on the hockey stick. Not to put a hierarchy in it, but I recognize people who really have deep experience and I know I have a certain depth of experience, but I, I also like, you know, there’s a lot I don’t know yet, so I’m just kind of giving you the report from what I know so far.

Thal

It’s like an ever expanding circle. I was actually just talking about that with you yesterday is that sometimes I go through, sometimes I think it’s the same experience, but I realize no, it feels like…A lot of my experiences are around nature and I’m like, it’s the same tree, but I feel a different depths now and they’re like, it’s like you’re shedding a light on a different spot in your psyche or something. I don’t know. It’s hard to put it in language..

Jeff Warren

I get it. Keep going. Whatever you’re doing is the right practice. Because you’re describing something very…. In different ways, people talk about that, so there’s the continual polishing of the mirror of awakening or the or the crystal. There’s the sense of the journey going around and you take another pass and it gets deeper. In the traditional way of conceiving the four path model of awakening within Theravada Buddhism, the idea is that you go around these cycles of like effort, breakthrough, challenge, integration, effort, breakthrough type challenge, integration, and you go around them again and again and then it and after a while you’re like, Oh God, I’ve been here before. I’ve been here before I here again here again, after a while there’s a shift and then next time you go around it you’re going around it at a higher level of a layer or a level of integration. It’s a new path moment. That’s when you move from first path to second path for example, or for a second about the third path. I know it sounds like a video game. It’s ridiculous, but that is how actually some people think of it for better or for worse, but the insight is more like what you’re pointing to that we go around and around and it seems like we, we seem like, oh, this is it. This is now we understand it, or this is how it is. And then there’s something that changes and now we’re at a deeper level of getting it and now all of a sudden, wow, now you know you’re in. And that’s really important to notice because that’s what you can. That shows you that you’re moving in this direction and, by the way, there’s one big caveat or I should say are big thing. I should’ve said at the beginning, which is that none of these experiences necessarily are the thing to look for in your practice in life.

Thal

And that’s important to mention. Yes.

Jeff Warren

It’s super important. What matters is, are you, are you more in your life, you know, are you growing in the way you want to grow? Are you more connected to your friends, your whoever, like don’t chase these experiences and the experiences themselves, are they just come and go the litmus test of any successful practices always are you growing in the way you want to grow in a very reasonable, practical way? Are you more present, more loving, more available, and you should have a litmus. You should have an idea in your head of an intention around what it is you want for your life and that’s kind of a feedback loop that you’re using.

Thal

Absolutely. And that’s again, it’s about bringing it back to the practical in the “real world.”

Jeff Warren

Totally.

Adrian

That’s awesome. Jeff. Yeah. I’m just being mindful of time. Maybe like 10 minutes left and I’d love also touch on society, you know, mindfulness in society. So outside of the individual, but looking the collective reasons why it’s important to have individual practices. I read in one of your articles, you talked about the democratization of mental health and I’d love to hear your vision of this because it sounds like it’s linked to your role as a teacher and empowering students to develop their own skills and tools to take control of their mental wellbeing.

Jeff Warren

Yeah. Well thank you for asking that. That is my absolute passion and it’s sort of like where that’s the my learning edge right now as a teacher or even kind of think about yourself as a practitioner. So my whole thing is to actually dissolve the difference between practitioner and teacher and actually even beyond that to dissolve the difference between practitioner, teacher and just regular human. That I, I kind of want to say that being a teacher, I wish it was a better word for it is really the ultimate human thing to be. Um, and that the more we realize that, uh, and that it’s not exotic and that although there are, there are definitely people who have more and less experience in so far as we can be honest about our own challenges in who we are, we are in the role of a teacher at that moment and that our own practice is the ultimate creative thing to discover and then to share. So that’s my vision and I’m, and I’m just trying to learn to articulate it, you know, in the progression of my from practitioner to teach her to more experienced teacher. I started out just about learning the skills. What was I doing? I got good at teaching the skills to other people and that’s Kinda like the consolidated back end of my moving process, that is Jeff. Um, and that’s now beginning to support me to be able to do with the front end, which is, oh, actually the next layer out is this larger service to all, to all and this empowerment to make everybody a teacher to, to remove this idea that somehow this teacher is special. Uh, and to see that in the way I just described, when we are in a place of honesty about who we are and where we’re at, we’re in that role and that I want to be able to teach people what is the basic stuff around mental, spiritual, emotional health that everyone should know in the same way that everyone has to know the basics of healthy nutrition and the basics of good exercise. So that’s my thing. Now it’s like, okay, what are those things and how do I do that? How do I impart that in a way that’s responsible and safe and respects the, you know, the, I mean the fraught territory of mental, emotional health, which is serious, but at the same time, if we get too worried about the fraught territory of it, then we, we just, we then we leave the territory only for specialists and we don’t have enough specialists to go around and talk about the world today. There’s a crisis and mental health. There are teen suicide rates are through the roof. There are people with major technology addictions like shit is just like there’s an environmental crisis in the external world. There’s an inner environmental crisis where everything is coming apart and we need to put all hands on deck so we don’t have time to get it perfect and it’s important to have an amateur guide than they have no guide at all and so I’m all about putting myself on the line by saying that and trying to create programs and empower people. It’s true I’m an empowerment teacher. “Do it!” So I have the free community resources on the CEC website that I just wrote that are all about empowering people to startup practice groups. I have a workshop I’m doing now that I’m just starting to do with a friend of mine that’s about teaching like what are the okay over the weekend, what can I teach that I think is most important for people? And then I get them to iterate, learning, figuring out a practice to share and guiding others and then, and getting a feel for what that looks like. And then always with the understanding that the person in front of you is a different nervous system in. And you have to also be always teaching that pluralism in that respect for their own teacherness, you know?

Adrian

Yeah. We’ll definitely share a lot of those links in the show notes for people that want to get involved and are equally excited about this. Um, you, you talked about teens. Actually, I’m curious to hear your experience teaching young adults, you know, who are going through a ton of life transition I imagined. And what is that like, you know, bringing in the practice to the youth and you know, the next generation of leaders?

Jeff Warren

Uh… You gave me goosebumps thinking about it. It’s the greatest like, um… Oh, it’s the greatest honor and privilege of my life because you see kids at this moment in life where it’s about to go off the rails and all of a sudden it turns the corner. And um, and you just see their life change right in front of you and it’s not anything you’re even doing something they’re doing and it mostly comes from sharing and talking and check in with each other and being in a safe place where the armor can come off and it’s like a overwhelming, uh, sometimes it’s such a privilege and I just, I could just be there as a fly on the wall. It’s the most humbling experience too because, you know, it’s my biggest teacher, because I’m learning in those contexts. They teach me to be more honest about who I am and they show me the privilege of just holding the space of not being the guy with the answers or some special teacher. I’m just the wallpaper. And it’s that humility is like, you can’t even. It’s priceless, you know? So, uh..

Adrian

That’s really special. Thank you for sharing that.

Jeff Warren

And it’s amazing, you know, because you see like, it’s not even that they’re doing tons of meditation. It’s more like you’re continually bringing the principles of openness and you’re creating a space where those are such high values that they start to get into the sharing with each other more and more real and honest and you know, that’s where all the healing comes. It’s not so much for the sitting. The sitting is good too, but it’s really just that. And you can’t put too much sitting into a teenager treat. They got too much juice. You don’t want them to be sitting all the time is not good for a teenager.

Adrian

Jeff, would you mind actually leading us through a bit of a closing meditation who we thought it’d be nice to leave our listeners as well. Maybe you can do a quick close.

Jeff Warren

I’d love to. Thank you for asking me. Can I do like a 10 minute practice?

Adrian

Yeah, that’d be great.

Thal

That would be amazing.

Jeff Warren

So what about… I had this idea of what a nice dark with the equanimity principle, the principle that’s there and every vehicle and every um, and try to tune people into that quality because that’s the one thing I want people to be able to remember. Um, and then I kind of go, I’ll go a little bit into the concentration principle. This principle, devoting yourself and learning how to bring your resources together. Um, and there’s a principle simplicity in that that’s so important. And then, and then finish it with a kind of love or compassion principal. So just three principles, exploring three principles, how they might show up in a sitting practice or in moment to moment.

Thal

Perfect.

Jeff Warren

And if you’re driving, don’t do this practice. Or do it in a very light way. Just connect to the spirit of it. Make your driving, make your cars and sights and sounds around you of driving the practice. Just in case we don’t want to have a 10 car pileup. That would be, that would not be good. Whoops. [laughing]

Okay. So you can start by if you like having your eyes kind of open at half mast or closed. It’s really about where you feel comfortable, what makes you feel kind of comfortable, because that’s what we’re aiming for here and I like to start with just a couple of breath, kind of indicate to my body, mind and meditation starting, so breathing in on the inhale, breeding out on the exhale, softening the face and the jaw. Not exhale is like the relaxation, the downward motion, and because I was all stirred up and activated, they’re talking about stuff I was interested in. I can feel there’s a lot of energy and agitation in my system. There might be some in years, so as we breathe out, just imagine you’re kind of like a snowglobe. All that snow is settling in your head and breathing out. As you breathe out, the sediment starts to come down. Let’s explore this first principle, principle of equanimity. This is a principle of opening. It’s about being available to what’s actually happening in experience and there’s a palpable feeling of it. There’s a kind of palpable sense of it we might get. Then often we get it in relationship to something so I to ask you to see if in relationship to my voice, see if you can imagine my voice is just a sound wave that’s floating right through you, so if there’s any bracing, any subtle way in which you’re braced against my voice or you’re kind of tense through the front of your body, seeing if you could just let go of that and open your body through the front of your body opening so that you’re welcoming not only my voice, but all any ambient sounds and where you’re listening. You’re welcoming your own many sensations in your body, even your own thoughts. It’s like you’re kind of letting go and there’s this sort of settling back and letting everything else just come forward and be there and you’re not interfering with it. That tiny adjustment, that whatever it is you just did there, that’s the thing to notice this thing of like there’s only one thing to learn here. It’s like that. Do this all the time. Every moment of the day stopped and let go and breathe and just let yourself come more fully into the present, not fighting with in subtle ways with what’s around you, what’s moving through you. It feels like openness for me. It feels like not being uptight, so the next principle is the principle of commitment, devotion, concentration, simplicity. They’re all ways of talking about the similar thing, which is that we choose something in our experience. Maybe it’s the feeling of the breath or the sense of our whole body just sitting here sense of the whole container of everything. Maybe it sounds so. The the, the thing we devote ourselves to, it can be very wide, could be everything or be very narrow. Just the sensation of breathing at the nose or in the belly and we see if we can get. If we can notice the softest subtlest part, whatever that is that we want to devote ourselves to and we let our thoughts be in the background as best we can. We see if we can as an experiment. Can you bring all qualities of your attention to they all converge on this one juicy thing and what are the keys to this is to find the softest part, the subtlest part, to get curious about that curiosity builds or awareness or discernment or clarity, and there is this delicacy and attention. Can you let your breath slow down, just naturally get very still and very delicately to you into the softest part of the sensation, even if it’s the big quote, “sensation of your own being”. And let the face be soft, no strain. As we get close to the end of this little mini meditation, maybe even let a small smile sort of crack on your lips because the last piece here is about appreciation. It’s about love, about caring, starting with your own experience. Can you smile in a way that’s appreciative of whatever sensations, whatever is going on like you’re your own care or giver your own mother or father secretly delighted by the sensations and feelings, even the hard ones. No, not at the smile. Expand and the kindness of friendliness overflow into images or thoughts that people that you know. If you’re close to mentors, old teachers and grandmothers, pets and animals, friends see you. Breathe, eating and your respect as a key to breathe it into your heart. I’m breathing out your care. Breathing in your, your gratitude for these connections, the sweetness. This is, these are them. These are the people. This is what showed up in your life. Breathing in your thanks. Breathing out your care, sending them your love, your respect and appreciation, and this is the net piece. This idea that we’re in this interconnected web through time and space connected through generations. We breathe in energy through that, that Web, that net, breathing it into our hearts, gathering in that energy is strength as support and then breathing out your own care and respect back through that same network, giving away the blessings of this short practice, not holding onto it for yourself, but sharing the wealth. Thank you. I’ll just bow down to you guys. If I had a bell I’d ring it. There’s a little short practice for you.

Adrian

It was an honour and a pleasure.

Thal

Thank you. 

Jeff Warren

Thank you.

#1: Searching for Meaning with UX Samurai Jay Vidyarthi

Ever wonder what it would be like to quit everything to find more meaning and purpose? Our first guest, Jay Vidyarthi (@jayvidyarthi), did just that when he and his wife abandoned their city life and moved into a monastery. They came back with some life-altering surprises.

Jay is an award-winning UX or “User Experience” designer and researcher. Named by Forbes as one of the “top 10 world-renowned meditation tech experts”, Jay specializes in using a human-centred approach to creating useful products, services, and systems. He led the design behind Muse, a brain-sensing headband that introduces mindfulness through real-time neurofeedback. Jay helped launch A Mindful Society – an annual conference in Toronto where leaders discuss how to integrate mindfulness and compassion into society.

Highlights:

  • Living with Intention
  • Experience of Monastic Life
  • Questioning Our Inner Stories

Resources:

We hope you enjoy!

Listen:

Clear Space: a poem by Thal (inspired by this episode):

 FULL TRANSCRIPT

Adrian

Welcome Jay. Welcome to the show.

Jay

Thanks for having me.

Read More